• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Cutting again but worse

Status
Not open for further replies.

anonymous

MyPTSD Pro
When I first began cutting many years ago I would find myself dissociating and cutting words into myself. I eventually stopped the words but found myself this week once again carving those hateful ugly words into my body and I don't really know how to stop. It is as if I want to brand myself permanently with my self hatred.
 
There are some ways you can get a "sensation/release" (sorry Im struggling to find the right word) without harming yourself. Have you tried these? Like using ice cubes, drawing on yourself in red ink, or using other non harmful methods to release your feelings. I found writing to be very helpful to me. You can write out your feelings, the ugliest of them, and burn it (safely of course). I also countered that with writing positive things about myself. It took a lot of digging inside of me to find positives when I was in the self harm mode, but I would read them over and over until it felt ok to me. Physical activity helps too. How are you doing?
 
I have tried all the standard tricks red ink, ice, rubber band,redirecting by changing activities calling someone so many things I generally only cut in very high stress times and right now life I can’t imagine getting much worse. It’s almost like I want to warn others to stay away for their own good
 
@EveHarrington i tried that, did some yoga even hit my heavy bag I just have been feeling this incredible amount of guilt and shame over something I was accused of but didn’t do that I can’t think of anything but I need punished
 
If you didn’t do what you were accused of, then why are you punishing yourself instead of getting angry at the person that accused you????? Why have guilt for what you didn’t do????
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top