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Cutting Ties With Toxic Family

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Just been reading something interesting about how toxic familys create energetic cords with you that can only be severed by removing yourself from them. one analogy I thought of though its not nice as I am trying my best to be commpassioante for my family as there very sick (as I must be because I have been a part of it) is that toxic family systems are a tumour on your soul that has to be cut out completely or it will kill you. your nervous system was literally constructed around them so any time your with them there is nothing to prevent you from going back to being that conditioned person again and it doesent matter how much healing work you are doing if there not changing as well your nervous system has no chance of coping with the onslaught of there biochemical assaults on you. I believe in a concept of the divine and I think it would not let anything live unless it was meant to survive so I believe regeneration and the abiltity to find a new source is possible. the challenging part is finding out how to do it.
 
Hello week one of making a clean break with my toxic family. its a real roller coaster ride emotionally. I am still kind of in shock in realising this is really it for me I always thought the other fall outs were really the end but they were never on the right grounding and I did not have the strength tools and resources to let go completely. its hard but my spirit is really loving it now I don't want to waste anymore of my life on this so much of it has already and I am beginning to greive for that what I can never get back I spent most of my life thinking there was something wrong with me and there was not there was something wrong with what was happening to me. but I still need to acknowledge what was lost . my heart and soul cried painfully last night for the little children my siblings once were and it just feel like I could not save them from drowning and now its just me in this boat in the sea of life. its hard to accept that life is not a fairy tale and that sometimes there just aint going to be a happy ending.

I pray for the end of this as it was
I pray we cannot hurt each other anymore
I pray we protect each other from this now

show me regeneration
show me a new source
show me a new understanding of what family means
show me how to invest what I could not give or receive into something more just so that it did not have to be in vain
 
My late wife's family are well passed toxic, they are pure evil! All them years I spent caring for my wife, without help from any if them, apart from one of her sisters who did used to visit on a regular basis.

No matter how much I pleaded for help, as indeed did my wife, none was forthcoming, even from her own grown up (I use that word, but the weren't) kids, they wouldn't even come and sit with her so that I could go to the shops, or get a sleep, as in spent many nights sitting up with her.

Then, in the final week, they turned up in droves, turned her against me, then stuck her into hospital, which was the last thing she wanted, ......got me banned from visiting her in hospital! by saying that I had abused her?

Then they contacted the police and social services, and told them that I had abused her, for which I was investigated, and later on cleared of the charges. They also stole money and valuables, which came to a very large amount!

I'm very happy to say, that since her funeral, none if her family have been in touch with me, and for that I am totally pleased, as they are indeed very toxic.
 
I am feeling in an insane amount of greif this evening I have wanted to act out in many ways but need to stray stong and not indulge in self destructive behaviours. I need to keep on reminding myself its all for the best and deep down this is what I really want a fresh start without all the dysfunction setting me back. I have been in guilt mode today wondering if it was my fault and was I wrong. I guess in toxic familys theres stuff everyones doing wrong. its like your taught to think abuse is normal. Our father and mother with there abandonment left me and my siblings in a survival of the fittest situation. there was never any chance for us to bond normally and form healthy attachment were all in are 30s now it is way beyond to late. to be honest I think that's why we all fell out in the end I think the sight of each other just traumatises us.
 
After the beginning of my abuse my father apologized, then it happened again less than half a year l...
Whnone) do you hear that forgiveness is is an important part of therapy? My T says I have no more need to forgive them than I do to to do Thier hand laundry. ( that is:none). He feels like forgiveness is a gift given to those who have earned it, and I agree.
 
When I was like 2 years old my parents were seperated. They left me and my 5 siblings at a grandma's house. We stayed there for months and my parents would check on us every once in awhile. My siblings were raped and molested by people in and out of my grandma house. I was only taken and removed from the premises because I was assaulted outside. Me and my little brother were sent to live with my mom. Meanwhile the sexual abuse continued to go on for my siblings. My grandma knew it was happening and I think my parents had a clue too.
Later on my parents got back together and then years later at a family meeting it was revealed definitely. My 2 little sisters had been raped by an older brother . The same brother that molested me at age 10. When we told my parents everything including my Older siblings. They basically said not to say anything to anyone ever because they didn't want to get in trouble. This all happened under the roof which I know they had some clues that this went on for years. After the meeting they pretended nothing happened. Then they told all their kids who had been molested or raped that their favorite kid is actually the son that did the raping.
I'm pregnant with my first child a girl. How do I explain to my husband that I want to cut ties? Also that my daughter would never be allowed to see them. I want to break ties with my family except my two little sisters.
 
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I am shaking. I have PTSD properly diagnosed in 2010. I have actually been suffering since I was....well.... I guess as long as I can remember. Both my parents are emotionally not present. There have been times when they have been. But as far as my mental illness goes, my PTSD in stimulated by family interaction. No boundaries are ever respected, especially when it comes to my PTSD... it's like it's a joke. My mother repeatedly nearly drives me past a place I was repeatedly raped and drugged....KNOWING SO... and then when I say... "WHAT THE HELL...I CANNOT %^&^(& BELIEVE IT"...!!!!... She just yells at me.... SHE DOES THIS EVERY TIME I GET IN THE CAR WITH HER...I CANNOT COUNT HOW MANY TIMES....The next day on one of them...I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL to "Secure Myself" and feel safe.....SHE STILL DOES IT....This Blog reaffirms that I need to "CUT ALL TIES".... I need advise and support from all of you .... EVERYTIME SHE DOES THIS.... I SUFFER BECAUSE SHE WILL NOT BE THE MOTHER....SHE WILL TURN IT AROUND LIKE I AM DOING SOMETHING TO HER BECAUSE I FUSS AT HER ABOUT THIS..... I AM DESPERATE...AND LOW INCOME....although I am working to change that... I AM LIVING WITH HER BECAUSE I AM LOW INCOME....I NEED TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF ....AND BELIEVE I CAN CHANGE MY FANANCIAL SITUATION WITHOUT LIVING HERE.... IT IS NOT HELPING.... I AM MOST FRAGILE RIGHT NOW....AND REPEATEDLY HEARTBROKEN....
 
I decided to put some distance from my family . We were at the hospital . My brother was having surgery to have his eye removed because the tumor was pressing on his eye, causing him extreme pain. I witnessed and experienced the worst kind of hostility toward my brother. They were bashing him while he was undergoing surgery. I tried to stay positive and interact with them. I ended up losing it and I realized that if this is how I feel and act around them , I am better off not being around them
 
I did this. I moved across the country, like you did. I stopped talking to everyone in my family. I haven'...
I'm coming out of a few year 'cocoon', I like that term, at the moment. I cut ties with all of my VERY toxic family and it was liberating. After focusing inward, sheltering myself and my mental head space. I've recently started speaking to siblings again (after 2 years) and wow the triggers that have resurfaced. I can honestly say I thought I had enough therapy, space, time behind me that I was able to reconnect with those who suffered with me however I am finding that it may still not be possible. The only big difference is, now I don't shoulder near the amount of guilt that I carried when I first made the decision to cut ties. This time I know my mental health is the more important - night terrors are just not worth it. Hopefully this helped. :)
 
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