Hi, guys! I am new to this and in real need of some advice. I am dating a great woman that I reckon suffers from PTSD. I am from a country from Eastern Europe, so these concepts such as PTSD are not known here.
She was sexually abused, I do not know too much information. After that passed through a marriage that did not end well. She has a kid. After the marriage, of during had some other relations, in agreement with her husband. Some of her conversations with a lover were posted online by a helpful colleague so she was exposed and not a good situation.
After that had 2 relations with married guys. Please do not judge her. As I am not.
At this moment we are seeing each other for about 2 months. I know that she has been in therapy, but not anymore.
One problem is the fact that we can make sex all the time. Which is something that I understand and .I consider that is not such a big problem, but it is for her.
I consider we had a progress: first two times we tried ended up with her storming out or trying to the first time, but I managed to stop her. The first and second time she started shaking like a leaf and I did not know what is wrong. Just after that, she told me being abused.
Third time it was fabulous. Went well. No problems. 4th time she trusted me in telling me she is not ok. We came after 10 days of not seeing each other as she was on a trip and just spent a great evening together, no stress.
The second problem, which I consider more important is that she keeps saying that this will not work, although she admits feeling safe and comfortable with me. And we have days when we speak a lot. Usually, we chat a lot during the day and if times allows us we will end up taking a walk in the evening.
However, it happens almost regularly that she will try to keep me away. Almost like there are two of them inside her. All good yesterday evening, We had what I considered a fruitful conversation where I told her she is the one setting the pace and I am there for her, to listen and to respect her decisions. Well, today in the morning, I received a very cold message answering to mine. And almost had a small fight. Now she is again traveling so we will get back to normal routine next week.
I am reading as much as possible about PTSD as for me it is clear that she has it. Any type of advice is welcomed and most appreciated.
If I was not coherent enough, I apologize. English is not my first language. I am here to give more details, as much as I have them.
Not to forget, we are both mid-thirties.
Thanks!
She was sexually abused, I do not know too much information. After that passed through a marriage that did not end well. She has a kid. After the marriage, of during had some other relations, in agreement with her husband. Some of her conversations with a lover were posted online by a helpful colleague so she was exposed and not a good situation.
After that had 2 relations with married guys. Please do not judge her. As I am not.
At this moment we are seeing each other for about 2 months. I know that she has been in therapy, but not anymore.
One problem is the fact that we can make sex all the time. Which is something that I understand and .I consider that is not such a big problem, but it is for her.
I consider we had a progress: first two times we tried ended up with her storming out or trying to the first time, but I managed to stop her. The first and second time she started shaking like a leaf and I did not know what is wrong. Just after that, she told me being abused.
Third time it was fabulous. Went well. No problems. 4th time she trusted me in telling me she is not ok. We came after 10 days of not seeing each other as she was on a trip and just spent a great evening together, no stress.
The second problem, which I consider more important is that she keeps saying that this will not work, although she admits feeling safe and comfortable with me. And we have days when we speak a lot. Usually, we chat a lot during the day and if times allows us we will end up taking a walk in the evening.
However, it happens almost regularly that she will try to keep me away. Almost like there are two of them inside her. All good yesterday evening, We had what I considered a fruitful conversation where I told her she is the one setting the pace and I am there for her, to listen and to respect her decisions. Well, today in the morning, I received a very cold message answering to mine. And almost had a small fight. Now she is again traveling so we will get back to normal routine next week.
I am reading as much as possible about PTSD as for me it is clear that she has it. Any type of advice is welcomed and most appreciated.
If I was not coherent enough, I apologize. English is not my first language. I am here to give more details, as much as I have them.
Not to forget, we are both mid-thirties.
Thanks!