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I knew it was wrong but I repressed so much of it. I went through the whole it was my fault phase.
I was also threatened not to tell. So I would think it would be wrong if someone wanted me not to tell.
I thought it was normal. I knew that it was much, much more-so (almost entirely so) directed at me & not my younger sister (scapegoat child vs. golden child dynamic to a T). But I didn't know that most kids don't get spanked (aka borderline beaten in my case) 1) at all or 2) for as long as I did (until age 13 or 14) nor that most kids don't get bitched out the way I have my whole life.