For me dissociation is more like not being able to emotionally connect with my past. It is like I am a grown up now, and the child I once was, and that endured all the abuse and violence, are two seperate people.On a rational level I know I was that child, but on a emotionallevel I just cannot connect with that child.
So the things I experience and feel now as a grown up dont feel connected to the little girl I once was.
Emotions come out of that little girl into me, ( intrusive thoughts, despair, fear, anxiety, and so on) but the other way around is not possible. I cannot connect with the child I once was and with those feelings on a emotional level.
I live my adult live mostly in my head not in my emotions, while the little girl inside me, seems to only be build out of overwhelming emotions. It feels like they are separate from each other. I dont feel whole.
To me thats a defination of disocciation.
So the things I experience and feel now as a grown up dont feel connected to the little girl I once was.
Emotions come out of that little girl into me, ( intrusive thoughts, despair, fear, anxiety, and so on) but the other way around is not possible. I cannot connect with the child I once was and with those feelings on a emotional level.
I live my adult live mostly in my head not in my emotions, while the little girl inside me, seems to only be build out of overwhelming emotions. It feels like they are separate from each other. I dont feel whole.
To me thats a defination of disocciation.