D
Deleted member 37474
My therapist is having me to switch to an EMDR therapist. I irrationally feel blindsided/abandoned/like I wasn't "achieving" well enough for her.
When I called to set up an appointment with the new T, she didn't call back. I left another message with her and my old T and talked to the office people. Without an appointment on my calendar I felt myself sinking, plus I need to make my summer work schedule and don't want to work on a therapy day.
The new therapist called me from her vacation to set it up. But while we were doing this I broke down crying (never once cried with my T). I told her how I feel abandoned by my T and that I know it is irrational. She pointed out that this is probably related to a piece from my trauma, which it is. She was so kind and calming. My appointment isn't for 4 weeks, and I told her that I don't know if I can make it that long. She said that I may want to keep my last scheduled appointment with my current T, if anything, just to resolve my feelings. I am limited on copay appointments. I only have 10 left til January. I feel like if I do go, what is the point? I don't want to dig into my trauma right now. My flashbacks have been extremely bad lately, my anxiety and depression feelings are constant, self harm thoughts and some actions have entered the picture. What do I do and how can I just shut this down for a month?
When I called to set up an appointment with the new T, she didn't call back. I left another message with her and my old T and talked to the office people. Without an appointment on my calendar I felt myself sinking, plus I need to make my summer work schedule and don't want to work on a therapy day.
The new therapist called me from her vacation to set it up. But while we were doing this I broke down crying (never once cried with my T). I told her how I feel abandoned by my T and that I know it is irrational. She pointed out that this is probably related to a piece from my trauma, which it is. She was so kind and calming. My appointment isn't for 4 weeks, and I told her that I don't know if I can make it that long. She said that I may want to keep my last scheduled appointment with my current T, if anything, just to resolve my feelings. I am limited on copay appointments. I only have 10 left til January. I feel like if I do go, what is the point? I don't want to dig into my trauma right now. My flashbacks have been extremely bad lately, my anxiety and depression feelings are constant, self harm thoughts and some actions have entered the picture. What do I do and how can I just shut this down for a month?