P
Pemujal
Hello,
I feel guilty about this, but sometimes I get so jealous when I see someone who has a good family, someone who is close to their family, someone who has family for support.
I was close with some relatives as a child and during the abuse as long as I stayed quiet I had a lot of family around; when I went to the police about what was going on, the family either rallied around my abusers and choose them over me, just completely disowned me, or were young like some of my younger cousins and were not allowed to see me until years later and then were no longer interested. Sometimes I see someone with their happy families and think, why isn't that me? I see someone with their sibling or their cousin and I want that so badly, I want relationships with mine too, I want a loving family. Sometimes I just have to excuse myself and have a few moments away when I'm around someone having a time with their close relatives because it hurts; seeing what a good family looks like makes me realize how much I have lost, or never really had I suppose, the contrast between their family and mine just highlights to me what I don't have and I feel terrible for that. I feel selfish for feeling that way. I am happy for them that they have a good family, I really am, but at the same time it just hurts.
I was wondering if others felt the same way, if you ever struggle seeing, hearing about, or being around people with supportive or close families?
I feel guilty about this, but sometimes I get so jealous when I see someone who has a good family, someone who is close to their family, someone who has family for support.
I was close with some relatives as a child and during the abuse as long as I stayed quiet I had a lot of family around; when I went to the police about what was going on, the family either rallied around my abusers and choose them over me, just completely disowned me, or were young like some of my younger cousins and were not allowed to see me until years later and then were no longer interested. Sometimes I see someone with their happy families and think, why isn't that me? I see someone with their sibling or their cousin and I want that so badly, I want relationships with mine too, I want a loving family. Sometimes I just have to excuse myself and have a few moments away when I'm around someone having a time with their close relatives because it hurts; seeing what a good family looks like makes me realize how much I have lost, or never really had I suppose, the contrast between their family and mine just highlights to me what I don't have and I feel terrible for that. I feel selfish for feeling that way. I am happy for them that they have a good family, I really am, but at the same time it just hurts.
I was wondering if others felt the same way, if you ever struggle seeing, hearing about, or being around people with supportive or close families?