SeekingAfrica
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The way it goes for me at times, including lately, is this:
My alarm goes off, and my heart starts racing.
And suddenly I'm thinking, omg I have all this work. And the dishes need to be put away. And laundry. And I haven't seen this person and the other person. And I have to answer emails. And I have to workout. And I haven't read/meditated/drew in a while. And what about that document I need to deal with? And this bill?
And I start feeling panicky and guilty and overwhelmed. And my heart races, and starting my day is really tough, because it feels like I have to necessarily do all these things in one day or I am a horrible person. And a bad adult. And the things race in my head and it's hard to remember what to start with. Or, if I do have something exact starting at exact time, I still think of all else that isn't getting done during that time, which is really bad for my concentration.
And that could happen, if course, at a time when I'm simply overwhelmed and there is a lot to do in general...but also, that does sometimes happen just randomly. The last days I wake like that and it doesn't matter whether some of these things are urgent or not, I wake up panicky and guilty, having hard time to remember that not all of them have a deadline of today. My mind just goes round and round thinking demeaning things about myself and insisting it has to be today. And it takes me quite a while to come out of it, few hours, which makes the first hours of my day not so productive at all...Does that happen to anyone else? I am aware that I have overdeveloped guilt and shame instinct, but nevertheless this is very disruptive to my days...
My alarm goes off, and my heart starts racing.
And suddenly I'm thinking, omg I have all this work. And the dishes need to be put away. And laundry. And I haven't seen this person and the other person. And I have to answer emails. And I have to workout. And I haven't read/meditated/drew in a while. And what about that document I need to deal with? And this bill?
And I start feeling panicky and guilty and overwhelmed. And my heart races, and starting my day is really tough, because it feels like I have to necessarily do all these things in one day or I am a horrible person. And a bad adult. And the things race in my head and it's hard to remember what to start with. Or, if I do have something exact starting at exact time, I still think of all else that isn't getting done during that time, which is really bad for my concentration.
And that could happen, if course, at a time when I'm simply overwhelmed and there is a lot to do in general...but also, that does sometimes happen just randomly. The last days I wake like that and it doesn't matter whether some of these things are urgent or not, I wake up panicky and guilty, having hard time to remember that not all of them have a deadline of today. My mind just goes round and round thinking demeaning things about myself and insisting it has to be today. And it takes me quite a while to come out of it, few hours, which makes the first hours of my day not so productive at all...Does that happen to anyone else? I am aware that I have overdeveloped guilt and shame instinct, but nevertheless this is very disruptive to my days...