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Do you wake up in panic for all you have to do??

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The way it goes for me at times, including lately, is this:
My alarm goes off, and my heart starts racing.
And suddenly I'm thinking, omg I have all this work. And the dishes need to be put away. And laundry. And I haven't seen this person and the other person. And I have to answer emails. And I have to workout. And I haven't read/meditated/drew in a while. And what about that document I need to deal with? And this bill?

And I start feeling panicky and guilty and overwhelmed. And my heart races, and starting my day is really tough, because it feels like I have to necessarily do all these things in one day or I am a horrible person. And a bad adult. And the things race in my head and it's hard to remember what to start with. Or, if I do have something exact starting at exact time, I still think of all else that isn't getting done during that time, which is really bad for my concentration.

And that could happen, if course, at a time when I'm simply overwhelmed and there is a lot to do in general...but also, that does sometimes happen just randomly. The last days I wake like that and it doesn't matter whether some of these things are urgent or not, I wake up panicky and guilty, having hard time to remember that not all of them have a deadline of today. My mind just goes round and round thinking demeaning things about myself and insisting it has to be today. And it takes me quite a while to come out of it, few hours, which makes the first hours of my day not so productive at all...Does that happen to anyone else? I am aware that I have overdeveloped guilt and shame instinct, but nevertheless this is very disruptive to my days...
 
Oh yes. And honestly? Most of it never gets done. You are not being a bad adult. It sounds like you need to reduce the amount of things you feel you have to get done. It isn't going to hurt to leave the dishes or not work out.

Can you make a list in order of urgency and priority?
 
Oh yes. And honestly? Most of it never gets done. You are not being a bad adult. It sounds like you ne...
Thanks:).

I mean I know not absolutely all needs to get done, but when I'm in panic I completely forget that. Sometimes thinking that I'll "stretch" all of it over 2 days to be able to manage it, kind of eases the feeling.

I can make a list...probably. Priorities are really tough when I'm stressed. It feels like it is all important and if it's not done I'm disgusting. Probably should work on how I talk to myself, I know.
But yes, I'll try to make a list today when I'm calmed and can think more rationally. Thank you.:)
 
Helps me to think about my day the night before. Packing my lunch, having breakfast out and ready, filling my water bottle, thinking about what I'm going to wear...and I make small to do lists to reduce the amount of thinking I have to do first thing. I physically write them down (not on my phone) the day before at work with only two or three smaller tasks to get me started the next morning, so even if I'm unable to get a lot more done? That one, two, or three small tasks I was able to (physically) cross off my to do list can help tone down that "bad adult" guilty feeling. Setting aside a specific time to check and respond to emails (30 minutes first thing in the morning, 30 minutes after lunch) can also avoid being distracted by emails when you do finally get a good groove going. My phone also distracts me hardcore, so I've been turning it off for an hour or two at a time and putting it in a drawer at work.

I really think @The Albatross is onto something, though. I have to make a conscious effort to bite back the "you're a bad employee and a semi-adult" thoughts, especially during weeks I'm having a hard time being as productive as a like. Personally, thinking like that just makes me feel more down and much more guilty, which makes it even harder to start/stay on tasks. So instead... "come on tiredtexan, get it together, you've got this", "other people have days where they don't get sh*t done either, tomorrow is a new day", etc.
 
I had a way old series of posts about how we label/choose/describe our emotional states... but couldn't find it. How we describe states at some points is really potentially detrimental and only further engrains the behavioral pattern of inaccurate self talk.
 
This is almost every morning for me. I just get up early enough to not have to rush. That way I can have a moment to lay there, then sit there, then get some coffee, and all the while remind myself that I've made it through every other day and this one is basically the same as all the others.

It's not a fun way to wake up though.
 
Ok, I clean my apartment once a week.

Everyday my day goes like this.

Up @4:00 am. Get washed up, do hair and make up. Make coffe, go back to bed and do email.
@5:00 am make a new pot of coffee for tomorrow( I store fresh coffee in fridge and reheat)
@6:00 make my bed, get dressed, put away dishes from last night.
@7:00 have breakfast, do dishes, and go to work.

When I get home....
Empty lunch pail,
Make lunch for the next day
Sit and do whatever till dinner.
Have dinner
Take a shower
Crawl into bed and watch TV till bedtime.

Boring, but it gets me through everyday. It's mostly about making a schedule and DOING it everyday. Block out your time, schedule what you need to do and do it. It lessens the anxiety and you won't be overloaded.....
 
See I will schedule and plan but then I get anxious and nervous about being on a time schedule and ditch the plan and become panicky because I have no direction at that point. I do this over, and over, and over, and over. I've tried a basic list and it makes me feel lazy. I've tried a more involved and detailed list and I get overwhelmed. This is one of the reasons I actually stopped working, I can't hold a job anymore. Well, I am a homemaker and that is a career all in and of itself but I just don't work in the corporate world.
 
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