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Does Anyone Else Have This Problem? - Feeling of Dread

Discussion in 'General' started by Kells, Oct 8, 2006.

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  1. Kells

    Kells Active Member

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    When the phone rings or someone knocks at the door. do any of you get the feeling of dread?

    Or when you meet someone new and are nervous as all hell, they give you that "wtf is wrong with you" look?

    All of this is so frustrating, I honestly am jealous of those of you guys/gals that actually can get something outside of the house accomplished. It is just too nerve racking for me to even answer the phone, much less get a grocery shopping trip done

    Oh and btw, Anthony, I did leave a message last week to get some help for my PTSD. They never called back, so I'll call again Tuesday when they're open (they're open two days a week, and it's a county program.. ugh... The only help they have available to those who have PTSD).
     
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  3. scarlette_crimson

    scarlette_crimson Active Member

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    Hi kells

    Yes I do .I chose to let the ansering machine to get it becuse my nerves and my time are more inportant then talking to eight diffrent tella marketers a day.i don't know what to tell you about the door.Usualy I go to see people instead of people coming to see me?And if I do get a visitor then usualy i say whoa you scared me there!
     
  4. kimG

    kimG Well-Known Member

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    Kells, you aren't the only one who is easily startled by the phone or knock at the door. I panic and freeze when anyone knocks at the door or rings the doorbell. My husband, before he and I found this site, didn't understand it and though I was crazy. He even laughed at me for it almost every time it happened. Of course, this would send me into a crying fit because it made me feel so stupid. I mean, come on...why would it make me freeze?

    As far as meeting someone new, I don't really have that problem as my trauma wasn't caused by a stranger. And, if they give me that WTF look, I just give it back to them! I think by now I've perfected it...LOL!

    Just the other week, thanks to this board, I think I figured out why I panic when anyone's at the door. I was abused by my brother and as of now, I have no idea where he's at (he was in prison in FL, but has been released). He has called my ex-in-laws to ask about me, but they are smart enough to know not to give out any information. Then they pass it on to me. I think my mind is perceiving that it could be him at the door; if I answer it and it IS him, I don't know what I would do...

    Anyways, know that you aren't alone....
     
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    I go through the same thing. Someone at the door really freaks me out. I keep asking hubs for a sign to post outside to make people go away... Still waiting.
     
  6. Kells

    Kells Active Member

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    Mine wasn't caused by a stranger either.. lol @ giving them the wtf look back haha! I couldn't do that to this person, it was my son's girlfriend's dad I was being introduced to... If it were anyone else I wouldn't have cared and would have done the exact same thing. It seems as time goes on, it's getting harder to "act normal" (if there is such a thing as true normalcy lol). I've always been a smartass with a helluva temper, but I can feel it's gotten a lot worse and a lot more volatile, so I try to avoid such responses if at all possible.

    With regard to my reaction when someone knocks at the door, perhaps it's the same as what you just described. Maybe somewhere deep down I'm afraid of the very same thing- that one of them could be at my door. None of my perpetrators were ever prosecuted. The one who molested me the longest married my cousin and has 2 kids with her (she knew about everything all along... it still disgusts me even to this day), her husband's dad, my former stepdad, was the one who was found to have drilled holes in the bathrooms. I don't know for sure, I don't even know if I care "why", I just hate my paranoia and wondered if anyone else has the same problem.
     
  7. darkskies

    darkskies Active Member

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    i've had/got this too. you can handle it in three ways - 1 ignore it completly, and keep it as it is now, or 2 deal with it head on, 3 graded dealing with it

    1. if you ignore the phone/door and let it ring, you will never know who is there - intensifying the fear to what if's.


    2. make the decision to answer - and find out who is there and what they want.

    3 let the phone ring. you can then pick up the phone later and find out the number, or listen to a message they have left. and call the person back.
    if you can't get over the who is it question, invest in a phone that shows up callers numbers, answer these calls, then any number showing 'withheld' decide 1 or 2

    the same can be used for when someone knocks on your door,
    the 3rd option would be to look out the window or install a peep hole.

    you can combine all 3 steps eg thinking today i will answer 2 callers, and stick to your decision, or if you don't get many calls, make it the next 2 calls i will answer.

    It does take effort to do it and with practise it does get easier. obviously some days will be easier than others but give it a try, and take the pressure off yourself, hope it helps
     
  8. Kells

    Kells Active Member

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    Or #4, make someone else in the household answer the door and phone =D

    lol

    Seriously, I wish it were as easy as forcing myself to get over all of these issues I have. Believe me, if I could? I would. If I could "will" this PTSD and all the fears away by forcing myself to accompish things that give me instant physical symptoms (not gonna go into that), I wouldn't need to seek treatment at all... However, I do appreciate your trying to help with what worked for you =)

    Much <3,

    Kells
     
  9. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    It is hard, but just one of those things. Even when my kids are outside messing around and they love to ring the door bell because the dog goes nuts. They are playing with the dog, I know who is doing it, I know who is at the door, I know my dog will bark. But it still gets me all freaked out. I can relate to that one.
     
  10. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

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    Bell rings or knock...kids are at school...I am fearful, they're here to inform me of some crisis, death, heartbreaking news, or some horrific trauma that has happened to someone I know. Sometimes frightened, projecting they're going to blame me...hold me responsible. Adrenaline kicks in and I'm ready to verbally assault them, even attack them if need be. There's also the possibility I'll instantly be fed up and with a sinking/(victim) feeling respond, "You're right take me away." "I did it." "It's all my fault.", ect. dark-skies-thanks. Progress has been made and I choose choice 2 these days. With adren. pumping, auto., I answer the door, while pretending I'm calm and it's always a delivery or friendly visit. Kells, you're not alone.
     
  11. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

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    Hi Kells

    Kells, missed the part until now where you feel that it's been implied that forcing yourself through PTSD (symptoms) are easy. Absolutely none of this sh*# is easy. It all sucks. ..TIME.. Want to assure you though, you keep conscious of your PTSD, keep talking about it, ask for support when and if you can, just be willing, ask for the willingness, whatever it takes and I have hope you'll make progress. Please forgive me if you perceive this as unsolicitated advice. Really I'm just trying to say, We care..Need and want help for ourselves..As well as for ALL. "We're all in this together." And, I love when anthony, states he won't separate the forums into what caused the PTSD. Reason being, so many have this *#* thing. It's what it is and doesn't matter how we got it. Wishing you well, wishing me well, wishing us all well.
     
  12. Kells

    Kells Active Member

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    goingonhope,

    It's definitely comforting to know that others go through precisely the same thing I do. It makes me feel more sane, that's for sure. As far as what 'action' to take to cause it to subside to some degree, I can't honestly say I could even take that step without therapy first.... Primarily due to the physical symptoms that instantly occur the moment the phone rings or there's a knock at the door (major tmi there, so I'll keep this to myself, haha!) most of the time.

    So I take comfort in knowing I have you and everyone else to talk to, vent to, even if it's just finding out if anyone else goes through the same things as I do. Cause sometimes it feels I'm losing it LOL!

    Speaking of therapy, I gotta call them in 10 minutes to see about the intake I need. lol @ my self reminders I'm always posting on this forum! Hey, it works! =P

    I do appreciate, however, the suggestions. Even if they're something I've already tried, at some point, a suggestion will pop up that I haven't yet tried, so I appreciate all of them =)
     
  13. Beachbum

    Beachbum Active Member

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    sometimes the phone rings when i'm relaxed (?) like watching telly & i jump so bad. it's that 'unexpected noises' stuff for me, and it's very rare you EXPECT a phonecall. often get very shaky & tearful after, heart beating hard etc.
     
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