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Does Anyone Else Have Trouble With Strangers?

Discussion in 'Social' started by batgirl, Dec 30, 2006.

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  1. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    I'm wondering if anyone else on the forum is a freak magnet... meaning, do strangers and crazy people accost you all the time when you're out in public? Because it happens to me A LOT... although yesterday was the worst I've had for a couple of months.

    I had to go pay my telephone bill, so I was downtown and there was a huge queue, like maybe close to 30 people. Out of allll of those people, I was chosen by this weird old man... he came up to me and touched my shoulder, and asked me if he could take me home. In front of a whole bunch of people. I was like, noooo.... then he went away so I thought I was safe. Turned out though he was waiting for me outside!!! When I finished paying my bill, he approached me again, grabbed my arm, and said hey girlie want to come with me? Eeeek. So I pulled away from him and started running down the street to the transit terminal. People were gawking (like what usually happens when I run into a freak) but of course no one would help me. I had to duck into a shop to lose him. Then when I thought he was gone, I took a different route to the terminal.

    I have got to be the most antisocial person I know, I rarely smile and I never look people in the eye, so I can't imagine why I seem approachable. Yet people are constantly approaching me... every time I go out practically. Even in this bookshop... I was looking at comics and another creepy old man asked if I wanted to get a soft drink. That one also tried to physically grab me. Another time recently this guy drove by in a car and tried to pick me up, 2 blocks from my house, in broad daylight. All these guys are wayyy older than me generally.

    After yesterday's incident I called my cousin because I was really upset, and he said it was because I look like I'm 14 years old. I hated hearing that but I have to admit he's probably right, as I've also had the police stop me more than once and ask me why I'm not in school. My cousin told me not to go downtown by myself anymore. Bleah.

    Anyways just wondering if this ever happens to anyone else, and if there's anything I can do about it... it happens so often now that I feel like never leaving the house! It was nice when my uncle and aunt were here because it never happened when I was with them.
     
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  3. ranger2_75

    ranger2_75 Active Member

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    Can't say as I have ever had a problem like that...but I am 6feet, 1inch and I am about 265lbs. so that may be part of it???
    I don't know what to tell you, sorry. Maybe try a taser it seemed to work on that guy in the joke thread?
     
  4. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    A taser?? LMAO!! Are those legal for civilians to carry around? Pepper spray is illegal where I live, so is mace. I mean, for anyone other than the police. Hey that gives me a thought though, maybe I should call the police and ask them what to do. Thanks though... you are sooo lucky to be tall. I always wanted to be tall. I am under 5'1" and weigh 96 lbs...
     
  5. YoungAndAngry

    YoungAndAngry Well-Known Member

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    I have had similar experiences, especially when I was under 97lbs.
    My anti-social behavior seemed to attract attention, it was like they knew I was too weak to fight back.
    Almost like I was wearing a "victim" stamp on my forehead.

    Several months ago, while attempting to go with some family friends out to a local pub, I was freaked out.
    Never said a word to anyone, just drank and played that touch-screen quarter game they have (picture hunt, crosswords, etc.)

    Towards the end of the night, I moved to another barstool, quietly sipping my drink and observing the "bar"...
    then a guy came up to me and just started cutting me down.
    Called me a bum, and started pointing out and laughing at my facial flaws.
    Because I had been sitting alone, he had no idea that the big tattooed guy in the group was my boyfriend (of 8 years).... wow was he surprised when my boyfriend stood up, towered over the guy, and demanded "Did you just call my girlfriend a bum!!!!"

    The bartender tossed the guy outside before any trouble was started.
    I sat there for another hour, playing my game and sipping my drink, until the tears stopped and my eyes were dry.
    Heck, we even stayed after close to help out the bartender (we're really nice when we drink, lol)

    Guess who was waiting outside for us behind the dumpster... you guessed it... the guy who called me a bum.
    Needless to say, my night ended up being overwhelming...
    ... and the next day I vowed to never go to a social function again!

    It's been awhile since that incident... and the good news is I have forced myself to go out since.
    And when I'm out, I try to put on the "confident chick" disguise.
    (at least until I am that confident chick that I strive to be)

    In line-ups, I stand my ground, I don't look around.
    If necessary I pretend to be busy with whatever I have handy (cell phone/notepad/mp3 player/watch/etc.)
    I believe that the more occupied you look, the less chance people will bother you.
    (I'm no doctor, but I've been struggling with similar issues for over a year)

    Take care of yourself,
    Y&A
     
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  6. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Start scowling and giving everyone dirty looks. Yes, Bat, I have to same problem. I attract them like moths to a light.. I scowl lot's now and that helps some.. thankfully I live in a small town again and I can pick out the crazies before they even get near me.. otherwise I end up with the same issues as that creepy guy... no, we can not carry a tazer or anything else.. against the law.. however, no one said carrying a roll of dimes was illegal (dimes are a better fit for us bat, quarters are too big for our fists) so if you have to swing at least you have a good wallop and it's easy to slip back in your pocket.. (I know very illegall, but when your little and not very strong and some ass is trying to drag you off.. you do what you have to.) That's my suggestion or scream "f off" or bloody murder or something.. get aggressive.

    Bec
     
  7. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Uummm... can't say I have that problem either, as I am 6ft and can be quite the scary fu*ker when I want to be.

    Its interesting you bring this up though actually, in that its not actually something you specificially do, but more what those with a twisted mind can tune themselves into too. Those who are often sick minded, have a perception (like womens interwishin if you like) to pick those that they could overcome easily, and do whatever their sick little minds are thinking. It is the way in which you stood basically, the way you expressed yourself, that they saw a possible weakness. An easy way to put it, and YA hit the nail on the head, its about self esteem.

    A confident person carries themself in a way that people can perceive, or body language if you like. If the body screams of fear, it can be picked up. Just like how people know others if they are lieing or not, as their body often makes a gesture when doing it. To portray yourself as confident in your stance, the way you talk with others when asking for something, and so forth, is the way in which you stop these predators annoying you.

    Basically, as you become more self confident through your healing process batgirl, this issue will end for you. Predators often don't go after people who are self confident, as they will fight back, instead of succumb to their abuse hopeing for it to just be over, even though the outcome is likely death.
     
  8. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    Thanks for all the replies and advice. What a story YA, awful but really great ending!! :) Interesting that you had trouble when you were about the same weight as me. God people are assholes!!! I will definitely try the keeping busy thing... I'll take out my iPod, my books, my phone... anything to stop being pestered. I'm not sure how to be confident though.

    You too, Bec? Yeah I think I remember you saying in a thread that you were a small person too... a roll of dimes? LOL. Hmmm I'll try that but I don't know. Actually I have been violent and aggressive in the past, that's the weird part... but when being violent would actually be useful, then I'm like a little mouse. The violence only seems to erupt out of my control and when it's totally inappropriate... I'll try the scowling though.

    Okay, that's creepy anthony, that these guys are preying on me. I don't know why I didn't think of that, but it makes sense. Just like pedophiles go after the most vulnerable children. Ugh. Well then I guess I'll have to work harder on my self-esteem issues. I don't have much of a self-image... and it's worse when I'm out in public. I'm semi okay at home but when out I feel like a total worm.
     
  9. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    And that is what they can sense.... it oozes out of people if you know what your looking for. People who are very good at reading body language, stances and general demoir, can pick a person who could be prayed upon without a second glance. With anything good, there are those that find bad, and exploit the good for their own selfish and often sick purposes.

    Let me tell you something about mental imagery for example. It can tell whether a person is cheating on another, it can tell whether you keep secrets, it can tell whether your lieing, it can tell pretty much anything about you if you know what your doing with the delivery of it. As you can think, this has a lot of good if used to help people find themselves and present themselves in front of a person in a different way to view themselves; then you have the bad purposes you could use it for, to exploit people, to find their weaknesses and attack those weaknesses, and much much more.

    I already know that there are people who want this information to use for these purposes, and so the evolutionary cycle continues. It is like anything really, use or abuse... then those who become dependant (serial offenders) upon exploiting others.
     
  10. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    Hmmm... this mental imagery stuff... I read what you wrote about it here, and then re-read it, then I googled it and read some other stuff, went to Dr. Roerich's site and read some more... but I don't really get what it is exactly. God I feel dumb. I think I need sleep.
     
  11. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    don't feel bad, bg, i don't get it either.
    cathy
     
  12. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    To give you a real quick idea, as simple as I can, mental imagery dates back to stone age, the dawn of time itself if you like. They couldn't express their feelings with words, but they could images that they had in their head, thus they could draw those feelings of danger and fear by drawing a stick person holding a spear fighting a large beast.

    To make it simplier again, think about egyptian hieroglyphics, where their words and phrases where drawn often as images to make a statement. The took the images from their mind, and when translated, make a statement or a meaning. For example, to say "I love you" they would draw an "eye" + "heart" + "U" as that is what they saw within their mind as a descriptive method to interpret a feeling, or emotion, a word, phrase or action even.

    When you draw your cartoons batgirl, you are using mental imagery to tell a story. You know the story when you write it, or when you look at the pictures, without having to have words present.

    For everything we do in life, our mind captures an image if an emotion is present. That image is stored in our brain. It is easier to interpret the images than it is for a person to try and find the words that where said at that time when the emotion was felt, hence mental imagery. Trying to retrieve the word for the emotion is harder again, but the image is sitting in the brain, and when asked the correct question, the image is produced from your mouth or drawn onto paper, then interpreted to the emotion itself.
     
  13. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    Ohhh... okay! I get it now. Thanks for that explanation! :)
     
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