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General Does Money Play A Huge Role In Recovery?

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R.Quartz

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I realize that financial issues can be a big source of stress in ANY relationship, but does anyone else notice that it seems to play an abnormally large role in being a PTSD supporter? When I met my gf, she and I were both in a bit of a financial rut, us both having just lost our jobs. Little things from budgeting out for food, meds, and god forbid entertainment were huge stressors. There was a point where her electricity was cut off because she couldn't pay the bill, and she was losing sleep every night trying to figure out where next month's rent was going to come from.

In the past couple of months, I've gotten into better shape moneywise, and have been able to help out a whole lot with some of these struggles (helping her get caught up with bills, rent, some basic household items, etc), and it seems like night and day difference with her recovery. She has become far more eager to stay on the ball with meds, trying to stay healthier with sleep/exercise, doing her therapy "homework" assignments, and has even gotten a new job this past week.

I can't help but feeling like our first few crappy months wouldn't have been as crappy if only we weren't worried about paying for life the whole time. And as she's been dealing with this for years, I couldn't help but feeling like it would have gotten this bad if only someone would have helped alleviate some of that burden sooner. In general I'm pretty frustrated with how hard it is to get help for mental/behavioral treatments. Therapist bills are no joke.
 
I think money is a huge stressor in the majority of people's lives, and PTSD is an anxiety disorder, so it only makes sense that adding more and more stress can create more severe PTSD symptoms. Completely true in my case. I actually almost feel like my money struggles have been a trauma all in itself, and I bet your girlfriend can relate to that. Its really tough to deal with PTSD, and on top of it, money problems. All I can say is to try to focus on being ok in the moment when these money problems arise. Sit in a chair, breathe, you are alive, no one is threatening your life at this very moment. This is not a long term solution, but it can help you when things seem out of control. I wish you the best of luck... and everyone else out there who is struggling financially (myself included).
 
My husband and I started out super broke and worked our way to a handsome double income. Having plenty of money didn't help as much as we expected. If anything, the added stress load caused allot of new problems on top of the old problems. The financial need still rose to exceed the income. We still couldn't buy our stairway to heaven.

No doubt money problems are a problem, but only one of many. Life is a complex weave, with or without PTSD.
 
Here is my sociological two cents worth on this,

I think from my own experience situations of financial hardship create a default into "survival mode". You are in a constant worry about not only where the next penny is going to come from but where the priority for it is. In order to feel fully secure in our economically based societies, we need income to meet our most basic self needs - food, water and shelter.

If there is no income or income is extremely limited, the natural human reaction is to become anxious. Now throw in PTSD and that anxiety is amplified, financial worries become an added stressor to a system already under strain and any forward progression in terms of coping with the day to day of PTSD symptoms becomes temporarily halted.

Until we can finally achieve some form of financial security, even if it is just securing enough income to cover the absolute basic necessities of life, it is virtually impossible to feel secure in our own skin and thus we succumb to worry and anxiety.
 
Thanks Medic72. We are just recently starting to get above "survival mode" in terms of finances, but it is still rough because I'm the only one with income at this point (she just got a new job last week, but hasn't been paid yet), and we have only been dating for a few months, so we don't live together etc. Just today, she ran out of money and needed to get to a meeting 10 miles away for her job -- I was out of town and her car wouldn't start, so she started panicking.

By the time she called me, she was already in the middle of trying to hitch-hike, which as a multiple-instance assault victim was adding even more stress. In mid-panic she said she had to go, and the best I could do was run to the bank and deposit some cash into her account to ensure that she'd have cab fare for the return home. Luckily a nice woman actually gave her a ride to the meeting, and hopefully it is smoother sailing from there.

Part of her symptoms mean getting OCD, so when she has cash in hand, she finds things to spend it on in order to make things "right" -- i.e. we can't have dinner at her place unless there are candles, or in the middle of the night, we must have wine before watching a movie, and that means going to the only place in town that is still open (which is far more expensive than picking something up at Trader Joe's ahead of time). I try to stay ahead of this needs curve and prepare in advance, but I'm not perfect, and just the same, the money that could have bought her a cab ride to work was instead spent on something frivolous.

I'm considering getting her the Uber app for her phone and linking it to my account, so that she can always at the very least get a ride if I'm not around, but I'm afraid that not only might it become a crutch for her own independence, but also I fear that I can't afford it.

She also insisted on planning a weekend trip for us this weekend, and she did a fine job of setting up dinner reservations etc, but I found out that she hasn't planned flights yet, and what was going to be very frugal travel has now quadrupled in price. I'm torn because I think we could really use the vacation (not to mention the resulting guilt/stress if we cancel it), but when round trip flights go from $100 to $400, it is very taxing on my finances.
 
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