I am new here. Been suffering from complex PTSD since ... not sure when it became complex! 2005 as near as I can figure.
I am a Trauma Nurse and worked at our inner city Emergency Department. While there I became the Resourse Nurse/charge nurse and directed the flow of patient services, including directing the physicians. I received 2 clinical excellence awards both for my communication skills, and now I only speak to my gr 3-6 children and infrequently my husband. My throat feels choked most of the time and I am so afraid to speak now. Even being asked by the teller - how are you - almost makes me cry. I am so lonely to speak. Because I have years of pent up sh*t.
Before I left work I cried every time I sat down to have coffee with anyone. I was spending my lunches and traveling to meeting time down in the tunnels, so I wouldn't meet anyone and embarrass myself.
I want to be well and maybe this is a start, to know that what I am going through is not 'in my head' - although it is in my head!
I am a Trauma Nurse and worked at our inner city Emergency Department. While there I became the Resourse Nurse/charge nurse and directed the flow of patient services, including directing the physicians. I received 2 clinical excellence awards both for my communication skills, and now I only speak to my gr 3-6 children and infrequently my husband. My throat feels choked most of the time and I am so afraid to speak now. Even being asked by the teller - how are you - almost makes me cry. I am so lonely to speak. Because I have years of pent up sh*t.
Before I left work I cried every time I sat down to have coffee with anyone. I was spending my lunches and traveling to meeting time down in the tunnels, so I wouldn't meet anyone and embarrass myself.
I want to be well and maybe this is a start, to know that what I am going through is not 'in my head' - although it is in my head!