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Does Therapy/Therapist Really Help

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by canucklady, Nov 17, 2007.

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  1. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

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    I have been so down these past few days. Everytime I wake up I think that I would be better off dead. It is a fleeting thought sometimes, sometimes have to fight it a bit more.
    I have been going to psychologist, but havent told her this yet. I am wondering would it even help if I told her, she knows how depressed I am. She knows by just talking to me. How can telling her I am suicidal, help wiht the thoughts in the morning.
    I know she will ask me if I have a plan etc. So I am afraid to tell her the truth. Don't want her to freak out and then I end up in hospital, that would make me feel even worse, that woudl be another thing my family would have to be ashamed in me about.
    I dont know, what have others done when they felt this low.
     
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  3. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I think that we all tell our T's what we want them to know. How honest we are with them is an individual thing, and how comfortable we are with them.

    I know that going to the hospital may seem scary, or even a pain in the ass, but if you really need too, it may just help. You might just need a med overhaul, if on meds, or more therapy to help you through this rough time, and the hospital can help.

    Depression sucks, and it's hard to face on your own. It makes us want to isolate because we feel that no one else understands.

    The decision is ultimately yours.....I hope that you feel better soon.
     
  4. Seeking_Nirvana

    Seeking_Nirvana I'm a VIP

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    Does T really help

    "I know she will ask me if I have a plan etc. So I am afraid to tell her the truth. Don't want her to freak out and then I end up in hospital, that would make me feel even worse",

    I told my doctor that I felt like I wanted to commit suicide once and he freaked out and wanted to put me in the hospital.

    He asked me and I told him the truth. At the time I didn't have a plan and these were fleeting thoughts that come and go.

    I had to tell him that I've had these thoughts for years and I can control them, and if he put me in the hospital it would only make things worse. I had to convince him I wasn't going to kill myself just because I felt that way.

    I used an example that made him understand what I was talking about. I said to him, "Maybe you feel like going out and getting drunk after work today, but it doesn't mean your going to do it" I told him that is how I feel, just because I want to do it, doesn't mean I'm going to. What I want to do and what I'm going to do are TWO different things.

    He got the point and didn't send me to the hospital. I told him that if he pulled that crap again I wouldn't never admit to my suicide thoughts, and that I knew when I needed to be hospitalized.

    I'm not sure what your situation is so it's up to you if you want to tell him/her. If you feel you have the thoughts under control, and don't need hospitalization you can tell your T the same thing I told mine and hope he/she understands this.

    IMHO I think it's best to be honest with doctors and therapists, that way they can better treat your symptoms.

    Peace
    Tammy
     
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    They are pointless and a waste of your time and their's if you are not open and honest. Absolute no use in going if you are not getting help you need which can only happen if you are honest.

    Maybe some people are not honest but spending my hubby's retirement on it I sure as hell was not going to waste my sessions.

    Admitting suicidal thoughts is not the one way ticket everyone seems to think it is to the looney bin. It is NORMAL with PTSD and they are used to hearing it and helping people work through it, that is what they are paid to do. If you are not actively trying to knock yourself off then it is no worry at all. That is exactly why they are there and are trained to help you through. Be honest. Be blunt. They are doctors, but not mind readers.

    Very hard to admit to, but once you do you will see it is not as bad and they truly can help. Again these are what they are taught to deal with and teach you how to. Good luck, feeling this way is not a joy ride ever.
     
  6. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Also, have to add the part of not wanting to freak her out. Just my opinion. But we develop a relationship we have to fight as we divulge so much we actually worry about our doctors. This will backfire on your treatment. You are paying them for this time. They are not close friends you need to worry about how they personally feel. They are our doctors we pay for time to do this. So as Nike says... Just do it :)
     
  7. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

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    seeking nirvana, thanks for your advice, you understand exactly how I feel. What I want to do and what I will do are two different things. It is hard to explain when I see her thought, it is almost like I lose my voice when someone asks what I am doing.

    Veiled I know that I need to be honest, and I have tried. Just when I get up the courage to tell her the truth, I sort of freeze up. I think maybe I will print out this thread, maybe that would help me explain things better. I always write better than speaking anyway
     
  8. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    If you've read anything about my psych, then you know that I generally can't stand the woman. Despite that, the second last appointment I had with her, I literally screamed at her, " I just want to ****ing die!" She didn't bat an eye. She didn't recommend I go to the hospital. She changed my meds to something that would help me sleep and in time bring down my anxiety and lift my depression. The last time I seen her, she discussed further sleep meds if this stuff stops making me sleep. She recognized how important it is for me to sleep because all my symptoms go way beyond my ability to control them without it. She knows I won't go in a hospital. I'm a single mom and there is no one else to take Matt if that happens. I told her that the very first time I met her. I set my boundaries on what is and isn't acceptable for help. She's accepted those. Ugh, god she almost sounds nice here! lol

    Anyways, my point is you don't need to trust your therapist even to broach this subject. You just need to set your boundaries with your therapist. It's not easy to do.

    Hope that helps some.

    bec
     
  9. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

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    Thanks Bec, you post makes alot of sense. How do I set boundaries with therapist? I guess I just have to tell her how I am feeling and try to reassure her I wont act on my thoughts, and if I feel in real danger I will take necessary steps, but I am not sure how to get her to believe me. I sort of freeze when am in panic mode in her office.
     
  10. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

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    I can honestly say I have told my therapist everything. I take the view that he cant help me if he doesn't know. I have also spoken to him about suicidal thoughts and thankfully it didn't panic him. It took a long time to get to the stage I'm at now though and I sometimes email him the really hard stuff. That way he knows it and I dont finish a session wishing I'd been able to tell him something.

    Good luck and if it doesn't work maybe try someone new.
     
  11. TheDeepestScar

    TheDeepestScar Member

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    I don't trust the therapists and psychiatrists at the VA. Though they won't hospitalize you without your permission which I think is kind of futile. But the problem with being hospitalized in the VA psych ward is that they don't do inpatient counseling.

    With my therapist I have her cell number and the only days she is unavailable is Thursdays and Sundays. But she has told me that if I'm in a crisis that I can call her. If I don't reach her right away she calls me back as soon as possible. I also have her email if I need to use it too. But she uses dial up so that usually takes awhile.

    But I'm lucky to have a therapist that is an expert in PTSD. I also have her workbook which she has told me to only do up to the safety chapter which I need to finish before next Monday when I see her again. (Not tomorrow).

    And I am pretty certain that if I do get suicidal really badly again that I can't deal with I can tell her and she won't instantly lock me up in a psych ward which always feels like a prison sentence to me. I've had bad experiances with psychiatric hospitalizations.

    But I do know that I'm really bad about dropping out of therapy and that defeats the purpose. I've also learned that if you feel like you can't trust your therapist or if you don't like your therapist that you need to find one you can trust and be open with for therapy to work.

    I think that I finally have a therapist that I can work with that will help me to get to a healthy point, I don't expect it to happen overnight and I think that's what alot of people have to keep in mind. It took years for me to get this way and it's probably going to take just as long to get better.
     
  12. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

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    I have heard my T say this many times, just when I read it tonight, it clicked. I have been struggling for 30 yrs, I guess I cant expect to heal overnight
     
  13. Seeking_Nirvana

    Seeking_Nirvana I'm a VIP

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    Boundaries

    Bec might answer this better, but boundaries are the line that 'YOU" set and no one is able to cross.

    When you go to your T tell her you have some boundaries you want to discuss first, and then tell her under no circumstances are you to hospitalize me unless I say it is OK (or whatever it is you feel) If she agrees then that is an example of a "boundary" that YOU set and MUST be respected.

    She should stick to her word because she understands these things being a professional.

    If she doesn't stick to YOUR boundaries, which I think she will, then you can give her the example I gave in an earlier post. Also if she were to break her word you could ask her to get another opinion of another therapist in the office before she makes a decision like that. I think a doctor would be the final decision maker, and usually one or the other will figure out what is in your best interest.

    Peace
    Tammy
     
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