• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Does This Happen For Anyone Else When Dissociative?

Status
Not open for further replies.

anonymous

MyPTSD Pro
My voice becomes higher pitched when I am dissociative. I do not have DID, but my current and past therapist both have said my voice changes whenever I am dissociative. My therapist now says it is actually a helpful "tell."

I am sure this happens, but to me, it all sounds the same. When I am dissociative, it feels like my voice is not even mine, but it still sounds like my normal voice. I'm really embarrassed about this.

Does this happen for anyone else? Why does it happen? My therapist agrees I don't have DID, but this still happens.
 
Yes, very much so....

I will also repeat key phrases when I disassociate during a session. I can relate to the embarrassment as well, I still get upset when I do it and he calls me on it. Very rarely does he now, but In the beginning it was happening so much, he needed me to know so we could learn. :(

You'll get better and if your T can tell, it'll make things better in the long run.
 
Voice, mannerisms, the things they say use and how they say them are all part of the unique way each of my alters express themself. My child alter cannot speak and my female alters has a high pitched voice very different from my bellowing baritone.
 
My (now) husband is dissociative with other "parts" that we can (now) identify, though the only one I would describe as "self-aware" - my man mostly calls him "Grumpy" and is the protective "fighter" who, when "out," can prevent all others inside - including my man's "primary" self - from knowing what he's doing at any given time, and without regard for the consequences to the "others" in the process. My man usually "wakes up" and has to clean up after his "Grumpy" self (like mid-argument with someone and no idea why they're fighting, for example).

"Grumpy" is a fast talker, very abrupt, cusses like a sailor, and has zero regard for spelling, so I can even tell when he's texting me (usually), cuz suddenly it's one word responses, long stretches of silence in between, no interest in getting on the phone (has no patience for it), and if there is more to be said, his style is obvious.

This isn't a change of tone in voice so much, but he is definitely more "gruff" than is characteristic for my man.

The other two "parts" are now (we think?) mostly integrated. We used to refer to them as "Femmy" and "Little" but they are much less well defined these days, and they seem to be mostly "integrated" with my man's "primary" self. (So he used to be four (Grumpy, Middle, Little and Femmy) and he is now two (Grumpy and Me3).

"Femmy" had a distinctive higher voice, very romantic and flowery speech, was absolutely enamored with all things art/color/sweetheart, and all his sentences ended with an upswing like a question. He was "out" VERY rarely, didn't seem to realize he COULD be "out" in those times, but he was identifiable. :)

"Little" sounded very unsure of himself, was only "out" only when my man was VERY distressed for some reason (like one time when I got VERY sick and he didn't know how to help me) .. He talked very like a little boy, though his voice didn't change octaves or anything. But it was very evident when he "surfaced" because I had to take on more of a "reassuring mommy" role with him in those interactions. "It's ok, honey, I'll be ok," or giving basic instructions that my man absolutely would normally know but in the moment couldn't access (like, can you bring me an empty trash can cuz I might get sick, or can you get me a glass of water and help me drink it?, etc.)

Now my man speaks pretty interchangeably with these "Middle/Femmy/Little" flavors in the course of normal conversation. And he isn't conscious of "voices" inside from any of these "parts" except in cases of EXTREME stress, and even that is rarer than ever before. With "Grumpy" - it's more like he's "co-conscious" and so he will speak FOR "Grumpy" but often apologize ahead of time for what he's about to say, etc. (LOL)

I love ALL of my man, and ALL of his "parts" - they have all carried aspects of his strengths and characteristics and memories, his fierce determination AND his sweet, tender spirit .. And my man has journeyed long and hard to find cohesion and a sense-of-self, and even accepting all of himself. That we have been able to walk this road together, that "Grumpy" has been able to speak for himself, and that I have LOVED all of "them" throughout the course of our relationship, I think this has been some of the medicine (for lack of a better word) that helped him love himself. In our premarital counseling, he wrote about how he loves seeing himself through my eyes, because what feels disconnected to him is reflected back to him by me like a "mirror" and he can see his own "wholeness" ..

I stumbled across this thread because I was fascinated by the notability of the different "voices" etc. I hadn't thought about the repetitions as a significant indicator .. though my man does "stutter" when everyone is chattering inside his head at once. Nowadays this is only really noticeable if I can tell "Grumpy" must be going off and "Me3" or "Middle" is trying to manage the storm without the other person knowing all the angry or impatient or condescending thoughts flying through his head. (oh dear! :D ) ... I pay CLOSE attention to this trait, cuz I almost always know I'm right on the brink of really pissing him off about this or that (like my bad habit of not answering a question "directly" but coming back with 3-4 things the answer COULD be .. oy vey!) ..

If I were to wrap up with a question, it would be -- Are any of you who have posted here so far willing to comment on the "repetitions" that are a "tell" you're dissociating? Offer examples and/or how you manage in the moment? Is this obvious to you, yourself, or mostly just other people around you?

Thanks fer readin' ;)
~WU
 
Thank you for posting, Whispering Unicorn. I will never be able to comprehend what my wife sees in me to have stayed by my side through all of this. Your man is blessed to have someone who loves him enough to get to know and love ALL of his "parts."
 
Voice, mannerisms, the things they say use and how they say them are all part of the unique way ea...
Do you think that the reason we don't speak during these memory times is because when the trauma happened, we were too young to speak? So maybe we have no vocabulary word to describe the feeling? Or maybe it is just a physical "short circuit" ?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top