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Don't Know What To Do - Still Haunted by Training Accident

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by writer109, Oct 27, 2007.

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  1. writer109

    writer109 New Member

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    Hello,

    I'm a former Marine. I never saw combat but one man was killed and another wounded in a training accident. This has haunted me since 1986. It never bothered me until the last few years. A 40mm round from a M-203 went off inside the chamber in front of me and one guy was killed and the other was wounded. I changed positions before the firing and the guy in front was killed. Now, I just can't get it out of my mind. It's driving me crazy. Should I just put it aside or what? I now feel like I should have been the guy. I feel so much guilt. Why, after so many years, is this bothering me? I'm always mad, easily upset, and drinking more. I've attempted to see a therapist but they could not see me for 3-5 months. Therefore, maybe they don't see a problem so I didn't pursue seeing anybody. Well, maybe I'm just blowing off stream. I just don't know. I'm not a combat vet but often wish that I was killed in combat. I'm confused.
     
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  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Welcome to the forum, Writer.

    bec
     
  4. mouse

    mouse Well-Known Member

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    welcome writer and I am glad your here with us sounds like a lot of survivor guilt, I hope you can feel comfortable here and know that there is lots of good advice to be had here.

    -Amber
     
  5. writer109

    writer109 New Member

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    Thank you:smile:
     
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Welcome to the forum.

    Lisa
     
  7. vst

    vst Active Member

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    Welcome Writer.

    vst
     
  8. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

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    Hello and welcome, I think if you want to see a therapist you should pursue it. I know its a long time to wait but the wait itself can not reflect how serious they consider you or your problem. Its important you stand firm and try and get the help you need. In the meantime there's loads of stuff on here to start reading.

    Good luck
    Claire
     
  9. nie

    nie Wishing for wings to fly. Premium Member Donated

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    :hello: Welcome Writer
     
  10. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi writer, welcome to the forum. What you feel is typical, is normal....
     
  11. Dracanon

    Dracanon New Member

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    Hi, I am a former marine. Hang in there devil dog. Don't let it get to you, I was a 0311 marine, but I volunteered to go to Washington D.C. when I was in bootcamp, and I became a honorguardsman instead. I was there was 9/11 happened, and I watched the pentagon burn, I was only twenty years old. I am married now, and have a beautiful daughter. And because of that, and living there, I came home a different, but better person. There's times devil dog that I wished I hadn't volunteered to D.C., and had stayed in the regular line units, and had seen action in the middle east. I know it sounds retarded, but there's nobody who cares about 9/11 anymore, and I feel alone, because there's probably not anyone within a hundred plus miles who could relate to my story without blank stares, etc. Don't worry, your not the only one in pain.... Semper Fi

    Zachary
     
  12. empowered

    empowered Active Member

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    Welcome to the forum :hello:
     
  13. sally

    sally Member

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    hi
    hang in there I know what it's like to be standing next to someone when he was shot in the face the weight of his body took me to the ground too. you can let this eat you up or get the help you'll need. everything takes time.
    sally
     
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