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Doubling down after an accident

Discussion in 'Vehicle Accidents' started by PositiveVibes, Dec 5, 2017.

  1. PositiveVibes

    PositiveVibes New Member

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    I'm writing this for a dear friend.

    Several years ago she had been drinking and was in a tragic accident which took the life of the driver of another car.

    Between the accident and her trial, instead of avoiding alcohol, she did what I call "doubling down." Partying every night, drinking to excess and generally behaving badly. After listening to her describe the situation, and being somewhat familiar with PTSD, I believe it was her way of dealing with the tragedy. Is anyone familiar with PTSD when a person realizes they are the cause of another person's death.

    I'm looking for research leads.

    Thank you everyone in advance.
     
    EveHarrington likes this.
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  3. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    PTSD is PTSD. Whether it was what you did, what you didn't do, what was done to you.

    The effects of individual traumas can get super complicated, but PTSD in and of itself is pretty simple / straightforward. It's not a victims disorder. You don't have to be blameless to acquire it.

    I'd suggest checking out the articles on the home pages, to begin with. Stress cup, diagnosis, etc.
     
    Esterio and Rain like this.
  4. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Hi, Can I ask why you are suspecting PTSD? I guess I’m seeing it as a bit of a leap to connect emotional turmoil after a deadly accident and PTSD. She could have been feeling guilty and drinking her problems away, completely in the absence of PTSD. I guess my point is that trauma and a bad reaction doesn’t necessarily mean it’s PTSD.
     
    Esterio, stp2012 and Rain like this.
  5. PositiveVibes

    PositiveVibes New Member

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    Thank you very much for the advice and I will check out your suggestions.
     
    Esterio and Rain like this.
  6. PositiveVibes

    PositiveVibes New Member

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    Thanks for the reply. This is exactly why they say, "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing." You are probably 100% correct, that is why I'm asking questions. You are absolutely right, but more important, you have made me aware that not all human reactions to an event; whether good, bad or ugly, are PTSD.

    Thanks again!
     
    Esterio, stp2012 and EveHarrington like this.
  7. stp2012

    stp2012 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Being a driver in a fatal accident must be a terrible thing that your friend will have to live with for the rest of her life. If she's still awaiting trial, then closure probably feels - and maybe is, impossible.

    Everyone deals with tragedy differently. PTSD isn't something we choose as a response to trauma, however, that doesn't mean she doesn't have it. It means she would need to be evaluated by a qualified person.

    Having been the driver in an awful accident myself recently, although I'm very fortunate that no one was killed, I still feel guilty and terrible beyond words just at the knowledge that most likely, I was the cause of injuring two innocent people. Injuries that they may have to live with for the rest of their lives.

    I've never been a drinker and already had ptsd before, but I still wouldn't jump to the conclusion that your friend has it. I would and do feel guilt for something much less. I would probably do something much more drastic if there were any fatalities involved.
     
    Esterio likes this.
  8. PositiveVibes

    PositiveVibes New Member

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    Thank you for your very kind words. I've only been a member for one day, so haven't read a lot of posts, but what I find interesting is that many members on here who have PTSD seem irritated, or even hostile, when someone asks questions to better understand this disorder. I find that unfortunate because the more people who are aware might make it easier for those suffer.

    One person wrote that she was doing research for a novel she was writing and not only was told to write about something she knew instead, and then a moderator froze her thread. Imagine how many social injustices, disorders and illnesses have gained public awareness from books and movies.

    I have also been in a couple of accidents, and Praise be to God, no one was injured. I felt guilty just knowing how inconvenient and what a hassle it is getting car repairs.
     
  9. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Ahem.

    We, as ptsd sufferers, know how most movies and such have portrayed ptsd in an incredibly inaccurate way. Nobody can understand what ptsd is like unless they have it. We didn’t feel like catering to someone who wanted to write a romance about ptsd. Omg. This disorder doesn’t lend itself to being fodder for a romance novel. It would be largely a lie, and since this forum is all about keeping it real, hence the results of that thread.

    A ptsd romance novel? Excuse me while I ROFLMAO.
     
  10. stp2012

    stp2012 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    @PositiveVibes

    Please understand just how difficult and vulnerable it is to react in a public place or even privately with high anxiety or panic or even feel as though you're built wrong and an annoyance to society.

    When I first tried to explain to someone what it was like to relive a trauma experience over and over again (nature of flashbacks) I was told to just get over it and stop trying to get attention. That's a very common response and expected from anyone looking at it from the outside.

    The problem in part is that it isn't logical. It doesn't make sense and so finding this site where I was finally understood by people who were also going through the same or similar experiences I was, finally made me feel like I wasn't a freak or wired wrong.

    Please understand that this is a support forum for those who support someone with ptsd (perhaps like yourself) or for those of us who suffer from ptsd and have real questions and need support from others in how to deal with a symptom/emotions, or a situation. We're pretty protective of our privacy.

    I would encourage you to take a look at the supporters threads. You might find a safe place to ask real questions and get replies to help you better understand what PTSD is.
     
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