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Dvr Sucks

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Justmehere

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I had an appointment with the division of vocational rehabilitation today. I was triggered beyond reason while there. I asked to do a phone meeting instead of in person so I could walk off the anxiety. This was denied. I was told I must go in person immediately or get no services, no rescheduling. I went. I couldn't stop shaking. I asked to be left alone for 5 minutes. I never got it. I kept crying and shaking.

I left. They just emailed me saying they closed my case. I broke the communication rules by being so upset in the office. I can't even read the letter. They deemed I am unemployable. I started and I am running my own company part time in the 3 months working with them and they said I have not make enough progress towards employment.

I paid $1,300 in services to get evals done for them.

I can't think right now. I am completely losing it. My therapist is gone and I started crying and shaking all over on the phone with the doctor. I've been self injuring. I STARTED MY OWN COMPANY THAT I AM MAKING A SMALL BUT REAL INCOME OFF OF, WITHOUT THEIR HELP, AND THEY SAID I MADE NO PROGRESS TOWARDS EMPLOYMENT.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS! I am NEVER good enough!

I don't know how or why but I am having a complete nervous breakdown right now. Maybe I need to be in a hospital.
 
I don't know how or why but I am having a complete nervous breakdown right now. Maybe I need to be in a hospital.

Hugs first :hug:

Their entire premise is incorrect;

employment is a volountary contract between two people.

If it isn't volountary, it isn't employment, it's slavery / forced labour.

as it is between two people, it is inherently subjective, a bunch of bureaucrats - however well credentialled, cannot objectively make a judgement for all of the subjective individuals out there.

I'll cut to the chase: they are full of :poop:

Be gentle with yourself, a bunch of pretentious, entitled tw@s stressing you to hell does not make you bad - far from it:hug:.

Your business does not extort money from people, like those tw@s and the institution that they work for do. You provide real goods and services that people choose to pay for. They don't.
 
Hey, you should be proud of yourself having started your own company and making a real income, even small, but that can grow in time. I am not in the US, so I don't know WTF you need those bastards to approve of your employability. You are self-employed, which is much better than being employed by some modern multi dollar slavery company. Keep it together those f*ckers are not worth it :hug:
 
JMH you ARE good enough!

Do you realize how much of an inspiration you are to me? You are doing what I want to do.... You are a few steps ahead of me at this point, but I know I am moving in the same sort of direction. I, too, have been making some money on the side in a business of sorts that I hope to expand in the future. Long/short, I want to go back to work, but I can't even look into DVR services yet (its complicated). In the meantime, I'm taking classes.

Can I say this again? YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

I don't understand how starting your own business isn't progress? Uhm, I'm sorry, but in a LOT of ways its more difficult than going to a regular sort of job. (Yes, we get the benefit of flexible scheduling which is my main draw to working for myself, but there are a lot of additional responsibilities.) I think it is completely unacceptable for them to close your case!

So for right now.... Can you keep yourself safe? Can you work on self soothing and grounding? Push everything else aside and do whatever it takes to put yourself in a better place. You are what's most important right now.

Can you call a hotline? I know my state has a decent one, but I'm not sure about hotlines elsewhere. If you can't keep yourself safe, then please call your therapist. Maybe she could help you with grounding? (I know its sometimes next to impossible to do it without guidance.) If you can't keep yourself safe, please do go to the hospital.

Later, when you are in a better place you can challenge the decision...but don't worry about this now.

You have done SO much as of late. I've read your posts and I'm amazed at how you're able to get through everything. I really do look up to you! You are determined to improve your situation and you're making it happen even though there are lots of bumps along the way.

And....You ARE good enough!
 
I have had problems with DVR too, they refused to help me with school because they said I wouldn't make any money as a massage therapist, meanwhile they are paying for a friend to take glassblowing lessons at a smoke shop.

My caseworker strongly triggered me and was a total Btch and when I asked for a new one they closed my case and refused to return phone calls/reopen my case because once again, I wouldn't make money as a massage therapist.
 
I took some Ativan an hour ago. I took 1mg and that normally knocks me out. I'm still crying and shaking. My therapist is on vacation until next week. I did call my psychiatrist. I don't know why I did or how they can help. I already took the "emergency" medication. I keep thinking what is wrong with me? Not even the Ativan is calming me down.

i am reading what you all wrote. Thank you. It's getting me to slow down a little. I can't quite take it all in, so I am reading again, slower.

Wow, I am a really triggered mess. Thank you to everyone for the support.
 
I am totally confused! Aren't these people supposed to be HELPING people with disabilities? And aren't disabilities something that our federal government REQUIRES employers to make accommodations for? But THESE PEOPLE can't make any accommodations? Or they won't?

I think it's quite safe to say that YOU are not the problem here @Justmehere

I'm self employed. This sort of thing is part of the reason that works best for me. I make the rules. It works for my clients or it doesn't. I'm not rolling in money, but I get by alright.

Don't let the bastards get you down. THEY are the ones who are out of line. Sad that you have to deal with them, but they're WAY out of line.

When the dust settles, perhaps a phone call to request the contact info of the next person up the chain of command. Or, better yet, a letter to the person in charge of the whole outfit. They sound like they are in violation of their own rules and purpose to me.
 
As you stated you have started your own company and am making a small income, do you know how difficult this is to achieve , even for a non ptsd person. You ought to commend yourself and stop beating yourself up. As for whats happened with the Vocational rehab , i would consult an attorney or a mental health advocate , you stated clearly because of your illness your limitations in being able to discuss things in person. You gave them clear but workable boundaries , they are clearly in the wrong and have jumped to conclusions based on your anxiety reactions.

This is what is called discrimination, in the most basic form....research mental health advocates or ask to speak to a higher up or alternatively lodge an appeal if thats available - there are avenues to deal with this and all is not lost and getting the right mouthpiece will allow not only resolution , but possible compensatory responses like re-imbursing fees and what not , but most importantly it will send a clear message that you deserve to have your boundaries respected and to be heard
 
Glassblowing?!?! Yeah, that's a great field with a high demand into the foreseeable future.... *rolls eyes*

It seems like the problem really IS with DVR. Maybe they are used to people with developmental disabilities and physical disabilities? So of course when someone comes along with a mental disorder and rather than work with them, its easier to dismiss them.

Half of me is glad that my tuition is free for the program I'm interested in. Of course I'm possibly missing out on other support, but the cynical side of me says yeah, they'll look at me just like they look at everyone else and push me into doing something that I don't want to do, something that doesn't fit with my skills or education. I'm trying to not come off as a total snob here, but I live in an area where programs are geared toward those who barely function. I have a feeling they'd look at me, someone with advanced degrees, and not know what to do with me. I fear getting the "you're too well off, we can't help you" response......AGAIN.
 
Really? Who the @#&£ do they think they are? Breaks my heart that this happened.

What a horrible thing to do to someone. Then to make you jump through a million hoops, spend a ridiculous amount of money only to be told that they won't help you. Because your anxiety level spikes when you are in a situation that causes almost everyone to have anxiety. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Also, how the hell is crying and shaking a breach of a communication rule?

You are definitely not the problem, they are. Bloody fools.

What you did was incredibly brave, to be able to push yourself to go there, and seeing it through to the end. Despite being so afraid. That says alot about having a great work ethic (That is supposed to be a good thing.)

Sending good vibes your way. Be kind with yourself.
 
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