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Elvis' Mental Imagery

Discussion in 'General' started by elvis, Jan 26, 2007.

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  1. elvis

    elvis Active Member

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    WARNING: If you plan on submitting your own mental imagery interview for assessment, DO NOT read the proceeding first, instead fill out your own interview first, then read these, so your current mental image is not skewed, resulting in a possible inaccurate emotional state being returned to you.

    This is an imaginery journey down a road. Take in the sights, sounds and colours, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing whatis far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, colour and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results, then attach your drawing via snapshot or scan to your post.

    Q1. What colour is the road? gray
    Q2. What texture is the road? rocks
    Q3. How solid is the road? big rocks stacked up.

    You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind, just imagine seeing yourself do it.

    Q4. How do you cross the river? i swim
    Q5. What does the water look like? brownish green
    Q6. How fast is the water current? medium
    Q7. Is there anything in the water? If so, what? rocks

    You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.

    Q8. What colour is the house? white
    Q9. What condition is the house in? brand new
    Q10. Does anyone live in the house? If so, who? a nice woman

    We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it's look, condition and contents.

    Q11. What colour is the cup? yellowish white
    Q12. What condition is the cup in? chipped and cracked
    Q13. Is there anything in the cup? If so, what? empty.

    You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.

    Q14. What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail? a huge brick wall, it is old with moss.
    Q15. What do you see beyond the obstacle? nothing
     
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  3. elvis

    elvis Active Member

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    Now you have had a break, go back to every question and look at your response. Try and find what you feel that your mind presented the image it did. Explain colours you chose, textures, water, cup, solids, liquids, space, objects, people, anything and everything that you wrote from your projected image, try and find what you feel to why you have that image. Don't look hard at things, instead try and look for the easy answers, as they are often the correct one's. Don't attempt to find something that isn't present, just look at each aspect for its absolute simplicity.

    This is not an absolute, but something you must do in order to try and self analyse yourself. This is important. Please answer what you can, and simply define if you cannot find an emotion to a response you gave.

    i think the reason the rocks are big and stacked is because it is a road that is to be walked very carefully. one wrong step could put me out of the game for a while. also, going too fast on a road that rocky could hurt me more as well. the steps also require a lot of balance...moving forward requires balance and confidence in each step. the colors are drab and foggy. this i think symbolizes the tight rein i keep on my emotions, trying to control my environment. it is better if it is all one color. easier to deal with. the rocks are stacked because of the many layers to this pain.

    i think the reason i swim is because i have learned that i have to do things myself. it is hard to ask for help. for anything. i don't have the luxury to need anything. the water is freezing but i don't even notice it because i just do what i have to do. the water is brownish green and murky because it is a dull sort of river, not a gloriously clear and beautiful one. i think this is my own frustration with how LONG an OLD this journey has become. it is an unnoticed and uncelebrated river.

    the house is beautiful and modest. it is brand new and very out of place in this setting. there is a woman, very maternal looking standing in the door. i think this is symbolic of my desperate desire for a mother figure...a perfect one.

    the cup is old and dirty looking. with a crack that has discolored over time. it is empty. this i think symbolizes how long i have searched for peace and a place to belong. it is my hope. what is left of it.

    the obstacle is a huge brick wall that goes very high. the bricks are whitewashed and have moss stuck b/w them. it has a cement ledge at the top. i can't see anything beyond it. this i think symbolizes where i am right now. it is denial. and all it is allowing me to see is what is behind me.

    whoa. i can't believe that. seriously. dude.

    the cup
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    You feel severe difficulty in life right now and feeling confused. You are trusting yet aware of problems in intimacy, and willing to put up with the discomfort of feeling depreciation, even wondering what is normal right now, though you are in denial regarding sexual intimacy. You idealistically need honesty in support systems, yet feel likely let down by your mother regarding past / present support. You are aware of being deceived, unappreciated or depreciated and hurt in committed relationships. You keep your feelings inside, for innocence and normality you likely believe.
     
  5. elvis

    elvis Active Member

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    that is a fantastic way to put it. it is relatively new, the whole "putting up with discomfort" and there are some days i just can't get there. like my whole pin ball analogy i posted on here somewhere. and yes. i am wondering what is normal. i have been living in a dream for almost my whole life, so wondering how to set REAL boundaries (how do you set limits when you have to force yourself to do EVERYTHING...i mean, how do you know when it's too much, when it takes extreme focus and determination to get in the f-ing SHOWER)
    also, wondering what is normal in relationships, since i never had a nurturing ANYONE in my life, when i encounter people with these qualities, let's just say i am highly TRIGGERED and go into panic mode, hoping i say and do the right thing so they will want me. so ashamed of that.


    was it really rape? did part of me want it? did i ask for it? could i have done more?

    i don't understand what that means. i do have a hard time trusting people. longterm, or when i can't physcially see them.

    yes. if i don't speak it, it's not true and i won't be judged or hurt again.
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    These are the issues that are bothering you most Elvis, and now you know them and can identify them at your conscious level, what are you going to do about them?

    What it means, You idealistically need honesty in support systems; is that you have likely been let down in this area, thus contributing to your low self esteem, and you desire honesty from your support, though possibly even feel a little innocent idealism (naivety) surrounding them.
     
  7. elvis

    elvis Active Member

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    firstly, you can call me Jen. the Elvis thing was something on tv when i registered.:music:

    second. i am confused about WHAT my issues are. i feel very overwhelmed and not sure what to do, and what to do first. i am WILLING to work as hard as possible to move through this. i am in a lot of pain and no one would know, b/c i don't know how to express it. and i am SCARED TO, because what if i can't find my way back? the last time i spoke about all of it, i had a suicide attempt 2 months later and almost died. (last may)

    this quote was eye opening to say the least, it is somewhere on this forum:
    can you tell me more about this? and what it means? and what i can do?
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Jen, the quote above refers to generally meaning, if you are approach your trauma softly, delicately if you like, then all it generally does it actually close you up more, not really help you. Now here is the problem Jen, you mentioned you attempted suicide because dealing with your trauma got too much for you, but the honest facts are, that to deal with your trauma, it is going to be very hard emotional and physically, and you will want to commit suicide or attempts on your life, however; part of the healing process is to fight through those thoughts and feelings and beat them with the trauma. When you go into trauma therapy, being actively resurfacing your trauma and bringing it all to the top in order to deal with it, your going to feel just like you did when you tried suicide. Choice: continually live the way you are; or commit suicide; or fight through the pain you must, hit your trauma head on and within six months the worse will be behind you, thus allowing you to heal the remainder of any trauma, learn how to manage PTSD effectively, and get back into life without the constand torment that resides within you.

    You have to make the decisions Jen, not me or anyone else. You have to be prepared to fight for you life, not just giveup on it and take the easy option out, if you want it back that is.
     
  9. elvis

    elvis Active Member

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    i will fight. do i have it in me? i hope so. how do i survive the six months? i am getting scared as the time approaches.
     
  10. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Jen, we all have it in us, its just a matter of how much we want it. For example, Cathy (cookie) fell apart for a good 3 months, mouse you can see her falling apart as she has just really stepped into the thick off the healing process, veiled did the same, I did the same, and lots lots more here, but we all come out the other side, and it is these things we must remember to keep us fighting throughout the process, and support from others to keep us focused on the right direction, and not allow ourselves to go so deep we end up in suicide. Its a huge step, a painful one, and once pandoras box is opened, you cannot close it.
     
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