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Emdr for prolonged trauma

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Harij

I was traumatized over a period longer than a year. I don't want to go into detail, but as you can probably guess a lot of different things happened.

I don't remember a whole lot. I know that I have more stuff written down than I can remember. It's been years since I got out of the situation, so many of my texts are old.

If I start emdr processing on what I do remember, is it likely that I'll start remembering more stuff? Has anyone had that happen? How do you cope with it?
 
I did emdr for a short time, 5 or 6 sessions. I did not find it helpful. I felt numb trying to go over and over the trauma. I don't think my provider was very good. My trauma is different so maybe your results would be better. If you feel like you trust your provider and you have some kind of support from family or friends it might be worth a try. I have heard and read good things about emdr and would consider it again if i found the right person.
 
I remembered more details about the things I hadn't blocked but overall I did not remember new stuff with emdr. I have uncovered new memories with Somatic Experiencing and brainspotting but not with emdr.
 
My emdr therapist is very good at it from what I have noticed so far. She is very cautious not to rush things and reminds me of my control that I have. Many of my blocked memories appeared in the form of flashbacks prior to meeting my emdr therapist. During the sessions it amazes me how common themes (such as humiliation) may link various events in your life to other events. Most all of my little stuff kept pulling me back to the rape. I did remember some details from the small piece that I have done on the rape. Details that I was never aware of before. So, I would say that is sort of an "unblock" but that is more about what I was thinking and feeling which was a big part of what I was blocked from.
 
I also had extreme trauma over a year and a half, coupled with the trauma of having to survive on the street and homeless afterwards. I did EMDR for a short period, could only do 4 actual EMDR sessions before I got overwhelmed and unsafe. Body memories being the biggest problem, followed by trauma memories that stay on my mind in the present and don't go away regardless of any distraction. I also had a lot of disassociation.

From what I have read on the forum, EMDR works for some, but not for everyone. In my case my trauma was so extreme and coupled with knowing there was no one I could turn too for help that I believe the nature, duration and extreme nature of my trauma makes it hard if not impossible to do EMDR without quickly getting overwhelmed.

My suggestion for what it is worth try it, but take it slower at first, and if you get too overwhelmed then ask the therapist to pause or stop for a while. If after resuming you still have the same result then EMDR may just not be for you.

For me, EMDR was like a last chance to break down my most disabling hypervigilance, now I am stuck without that last chance. And feel like will always be the way it has, which is misery. Nevertheless, I try to move forward as best I can, partly because I have too as the alternative is unacceptable. The other part is some crazy unrealistic notion of hope itself.
 
I've been doing emdr for about a year for complex ptsd (lots of crapola over a span of time). It's not usually recommended for more complex stuff because it can get all tangled up in your head. Unfortunately we didn't know when we started how bad my traumas were and I got VERY lucky that my EMDR therapist is trained in both EMDR and complex trauma. I also have a second T who works on keeping me grounded in today as EMDR digs stuff up.

I won't lie. EMDR is tough. You are basically going to re-experience your trauma and learn a different way to deal with it. The goal is to move the incident from present tense to long term memory where it belongs. It's ugly and painful and scary. But when it works it is amazing. You will come to view your trauma as an unpleasant memory rather than a horrifying event that defines your day to day life.

For some people 4 to 12 sessions will do it. For me -- we worked on one trauma for almost 8 months because I kept dissociating so she had to move glacially slow. I wanted to give up more times than I can count. But I'm glad I stuck it out because just a couple weeks ago it finally "closed" Now when I think of that event I'm at peace. Its still ugly and sad, but it's far away. (sorry thats the only way I can think to describe it).

Do your research, make sure you understand what you are getting into and continue to talk to people who have done it. Only you can decide if it is best for you.
 
I am convinced that my trauma was so extreme and because of its nature, that EMDR overwhelms me quickly to the point of being unsafe. I don't have a lot of confidence in CBT changing my cognitive distortions. I think I am always going to be stuck as I have always been and will always be miserable. The only good that has happened was learning how to manage some of my flashbacks, and learning how to behave better from DBT. The gain in both is it takes more to put me in the hospital as it has in the past.
 
I suffered traumas of all kinds for the first 20 years of my life most of which we're blocked out. EMDR has brought back many of the memories and it's going to take a very long time to work through all of those memories but the memory were working on now is lessening and severity. EMDR works differently on each person so it is hard to say but chances are yes it will bring back memories and all kinds of other crap from childhood but I can also help you finally get over it and put it in the past where it belongs.
 
From my recent experience, I have come to the conclusion that my trauma cannot be done safely using EMDR and probably other modalities. The nature of my trauma, the issues attached to it, and the extreme nature make any attempts to work on my trauma overwhelming and leaving me being unsafe. If it had not been for DBT and earlier Sheppard Pratt I probably would have been hospitalized after the first or second session, even with those skills I have learned I was ready for the hospital at 4 sessions. That gives you a good idea of how my trauma was. I never had body memories before, until the EMDR. Now it's like reliving the trauma all over again physically and mentally. Stopping the EMDR helped as the body memories and such slacked off some but did not go away completely, but it got right back to being overwhelming again as a result of an ad hoc dbt homework assignment that required me to go back to the past to do it, as it required me explain why I have problems with Willing vs Willful, and what led for it to be that way.

I am regretting having done the EMDR, but at the time I had to try something to get better, now I think nothing will work, the damage done by abuse is to great to undo it, that it's a lost cause to try. That the best I can hope for more coping skills, and a continued life of misery.
 
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