anthony
Founder
Its funny that I have sat here thinking lately of the bullshit games that get played during seperation, you know the one's if you have been with someone a while and seperate, one, the other or both play the shitty little emotional head f*ck games.
I have had Kerrie playing these with me since seperation, no doubt at all, part of her personality I guess to control through manipulation. It makes me laugh at some of the things people come out with though, the thinking styles I guess when it comes to losing something you want for yourself, or want because you don't want another to have them.
She would rather negative contact so she atleast has contact, ie. abuse, manipulation, general tactics to simply make contact really. What do these things really achieve in relationship breakdowns though? More heartache, more pain, and with PTSD in the equation, often more illness time.
An example from a couple of days ago, Kerrie contacts me and wants me to go shopping to replace Alexanders little tricycle that got damaged in the move. Now whilst we bought that here in Melbourne, you can buy the damn things anywhere pretty much around Australia, or something similar, like everywhere you go you can pretty much find kids toys... so here she is ringing me and wanting me to go do it, when I first react that she just wants me to do it for the cost, she then informs me she will pay. So if she is paying for it, then why exactly would I need to go get one if she can get one where she is? I know... control, manipulation, contact... seeing whether I will jump at her commands.
Like who the hell runs around after someone who you are seperated from? Seperation is for a reason, not for fun and games. I just don't get it. She says in one breathe that she only wants contact if it directly affects the children, then does something completely different.
She asked me whilst here and moving her things, if she could stay in my house for the Friday, Saturday and "maybe" the Sunday night. Well, she stayed all those nights, then proceeded to stay without permission the Monday night. I was not staying their anyway, as I lived next door with Nic.. no secrets in that one. Well, she knew where I lived, but obviously thought I didn't think she knew or something, played the mind games etc etc... I ignored and did my daily thing, played with the kids, went home... usually first to the coffee shop to chill out having to be around Kerrie.
She must off assumed that I was trying to hide the fact I was next door, when in fact it was quite the opposite, considering everyone in the street that she would talk too all knew myself and Nic where dating and now living together... no big secret there either. No, I didn't want to rub it in her face, because that is simply stooping to her level IMO to play emotional games.
Anyway, she pissed me off by staying the Monday night when she was not given permission to do so, as I simply did not want her around me any longer, and considering the house was mine and I was the only one paying for it, and she had not lived their for six months, no brainer really. She called the police the Tuesday morning on me because I was going to remove her from the house, told them the usual shit, I was threatening and intimidating her.... intimidating, NO, threatening to remove her from the house myself if she didn't get out, YES. Anyway, the police turned up, told them the story, she told them her version, they told her to get her shit and get out of the house, same thing I told her... how funny I thought. I still chuckle to myself about her own actions biting her on the arse. You have to know Kerrie I guess to realise how funny that is... just read her mental imagery about being controlling, you may gather the rest then.
Anyway, she continues to leave, and under police instruction, must hand back the keys to the agent, another thing I demanded from her as she has no legal right to the property, yet wouldn't give me the keys. Oh, thats right, I wouldn't give her the car key I had until she gave me the house keys... funny, simple exchange really, but difficult for herself obviously. She would have lost control if she did that. Any how, the police gave her strict instructions which I checked on all the way to make sure she followed, otherwise I was ringing them back myself and letting them do their job with her, so the next day I go out to the mailbox, and here is a postcard and letter from Kerrie... typical emotional games, then we check our post office box, another postcard, typical emotional games once again. She must have thought they where also secretive? Not sure how, considering her solicitor would have had that information and the post box is where most of nics mail goes anyway.
Why do women play these emotional games? I know why, because they don't want to let go most likely. They aren't ready yet, even though they don't want the person, they don't want anyone else to have them either. That is the general consensus I believe when it comes to these matters.
So what emotional games have you played on ex partners, or been played on you? Makes me curious really to see what stories and experience we have in this area. How does it affect you with PTSD? I know it made me sick as hell, hence why I have taken control of these situations now and ignore them completely, ignore stupid requests, and put them back with the person they belong.
I have had Kerrie playing these with me since seperation, no doubt at all, part of her personality I guess to control through manipulation. It makes me laugh at some of the things people come out with though, the thinking styles I guess when it comes to losing something you want for yourself, or want because you don't want another to have them.
She would rather negative contact so she atleast has contact, ie. abuse, manipulation, general tactics to simply make contact really. What do these things really achieve in relationship breakdowns though? More heartache, more pain, and with PTSD in the equation, often more illness time.
An example from a couple of days ago, Kerrie contacts me and wants me to go shopping to replace Alexanders little tricycle that got damaged in the move. Now whilst we bought that here in Melbourne, you can buy the damn things anywhere pretty much around Australia, or something similar, like everywhere you go you can pretty much find kids toys... so here she is ringing me and wanting me to go do it, when I first react that she just wants me to do it for the cost, she then informs me she will pay. So if she is paying for it, then why exactly would I need to go get one if she can get one where she is? I know... control, manipulation, contact... seeing whether I will jump at her commands.
Like who the hell runs around after someone who you are seperated from? Seperation is for a reason, not for fun and games. I just don't get it. She says in one breathe that she only wants contact if it directly affects the children, then does something completely different.
She asked me whilst here and moving her things, if she could stay in my house for the Friday, Saturday and "maybe" the Sunday night. Well, she stayed all those nights, then proceeded to stay without permission the Monday night. I was not staying their anyway, as I lived next door with Nic.. no secrets in that one. Well, she knew where I lived, but obviously thought I didn't think she knew or something, played the mind games etc etc... I ignored and did my daily thing, played with the kids, went home... usually first to the coffee shop to chill out having to be around Kerrie.
She must off assumed that I was trying to hide the fact I was next door, when in fact it was quite the opposite, considering everyone in the street that she would talk too all knew myself and Nic where dating and now living together... no big secret there either. No, I didn't want to rub it in her face, because that is simply stooping to her level IMO to play emotional games.
Anyway, she pissed me off by staying the Monday night when she was not given permission to do so, as I simply did not want her around me any longer, and considering the house was mine and I was the only one paying for it, and she had not lived their for six months, no brainer really. She called the police the Tuesday morning on me because I was going to remove her from the house, told them the usual shit, I was threatening and intimidating her.... intimidating, NO, threatening to remove her from the house myself if she didn't get out, YES. Anyway, the police turned up, told them the story, she told them her version, they told her to get her shit and get out of the house, same thing I told her... how funny I thought. I still chuckle to myself about her own actions biting her on the arse. You have to know Kerrie I guess to realise how funny that is... just read her mental imagery about being controlling, you may gather the rest then.
Anyway, she continues to leave, and under police instruction, must hand back the keys to the agent, another thing I demanded from her as she has no legal right to the property, yet wouldn't give me the keys. Oh, thats right, I wouldn't give her the car key I had until she gave me the house keys... funny, simple exchange really, but difficult for herself obviously. She would have lost control if she did that. Any how, the police gave her strict instructions which I checked on all the way to make sure she followed, otherwise I was ringing them back myself and letting them do their job with her, so the next day I go out to the mailbox, and here is a postcard and letter from Kerrie... typical emotional games, then we check our post office box, another postcard, typical emotional games once again. She must have thought they where also secretive? Not sure how, considering her solicitor would have had that information and the post box is where most of nics mail goes anyway.
Why do women play these emotional games? I know why, because they don't want to let go most likely. They aren't ready yet, even though they don't want the person, they don't want anyone else to have them either. That is the general consensus I believe when it comes to these matters.
So what emotional games have you played on ex partners, or been played on you? Makes me curious really to see what stories and experience we have in this area. How does it affect you with PTSD? I know it made me sick as hell, hence why I have taken control of these situations now and ignore them completely, ignore stupid requests, and put them back with the person they belong.