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Emotional numbness in my relationship

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Hi,

I got diagnosed with PTSD this year and i also am in a new relationship. I love the partner i'm with but i feel not emotionally connected theirs a few times I will feel connected with him but then theirs times i feel unconnected and numb is this a normal occurrence for people suffering from PTSD caused by previous romantic relationships

Emily
 
Emily,

In my personal experience, there have been definite times where I was disconnected from my partner and numb.
When I've been with a partner and was triggered, I have shut down and stayed away. This is especially true if something they do sets me off. After the fear and paranoia and panic attacks settles, I usually feel dead and disconnected, even from my own children, but especially my partner.
When I have not been in a relationship but just dating, I don't feel any emotional connections to new partners.

My current husband (second marriage) and I started dating a few years back. When I realized I was falling for him, I was terrified. Love meant (and in a lot of ways still means) pain. I still struggle with this.

I feel like my response is discombobulated, but I hope it helps. I think as you grow to trust your new partner you will find that you may feel more connected over time. Not a promise, but a possibility.
 
Yeah I mean I can shut down my feelings for an extended amount of time but that time is always limited sadly. I try to keep in mind how I feel when I let my guard down and how I feel when I can about her. It helps a lot. But I haven't gotten over the fear she's going to leave eventually and I remind myself of that often and keep myself very (prepared? i guess.) for the inevitable let down what ever that might be. I think the term in ptsd is called hyper vigilance. Now that I compare our situations this might not be a relative comment. Sorry. Just know we all have pretty serious relationship problems. I don't know if that helps you feel better but it's kinda nice to know you aren't alone.
 
Reading this and thinking " it's not just me " My therapist says since I'm a widower I have " Acute fear of loss " so I love that I have a new relationship but live with the fear of losing her. Heck I make up ways in my head I will lose her and drive myself right into a Anxiety attack. Sad but nice to know I'm not alone
 
I think our worse enemy is fear. A fear from the past that is always present. I learned about mindfullness many years ago and I suggest to give it a look. It is a life long work, but it enhance the ability to stay focused in the now.
Best wishes you all. It is painfull i know, but it feels better when we allow someone in.
Chrisina
 
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