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Encouraging Friend To Seek Counseling?

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by harfatum, Dec 10, 2006.

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  1. harfatum

    harfatum New Member

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    Hi all,
    I hope this is the right place for this. I have a friend who I suspect to be PTSD and I want to know what I can do to encourage her to seek some sort of support or counseling or something. I'm basically there for her by phone whenever she is having problems but I'm not a doctor and there's only so much that I can do.

    Essentially she got herself into a situation that, comparatively, wasn't horrible, but it was out of her character and exploited her lack of self esteem. Due to a highly rare infection (that happened as a result of doing things that she wouldn't have done before, but certainly anything but predictable), she had to have fairly major surgery and was essentially alone for a while.

    I had suspected at times past that she may have a little bit of borderline personality disorder, and these events surely didn't help. Now as I talk to her, she clearly has most of the PTSD symptoms. I don't think she has literal flashbacks, and is doing very well in school, but many of the other symptoms are very clear in her to me.

    She feels like anyone else with PTSD is either a rape victim or a soldier, and that no one will understand her story, or even really care. She even doesn't want to discuss her story online anonymously. So basically I (and to a small degree her mom, although she's reluctant to share with her mom and her mom is fairly traditional and may not be a big help) have been the one that's been there for her for the last two years, and the last 6 months since the whole thing started. I just want to know what I should do in this situation.
     
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  3. Josh77

    Josh77 Active Member

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    harfatum,
    you cannot force someone to get help... when your friend is ready, get her to see a doctor or therapist, and she is always welcome here on this forum. You are in the right place... there's a section of this forum especially for spouses and friends of PTSD sufferers, but you are also welcome here in this section. Since i am NOT a therapist, i cannot tell you if your friend has PTSD, but maybe get her to research PTSD, so that she can determine that for herself!!
    Don't hesitate to send me a private message, if you want to talk about something private... for everything else, i would suggest maybe reading some of the posts on this forum and ask questions when you need to! OK? Sound good? i hope to hear back from you.

    Josh
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

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    yep. what Josh said. The one thing I see that you could do is tell her that trauma affects different persons differently. Some people can handle more trauma than others. I judged myself that way for along time.
     
  5. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi Harf, welcome to the forum.
     
  6. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Hi Harf, nice to meet you.

    Now, the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. The reason why I say this is there are more ways than one to lead that horse to water! Telling someone, who feels hopeless, to get help or go to counselling, can be a bit like pointing through a big, dark forest, with no clear path and telling that horse his water is that way. That poor horse won't budge without knowing which way to turn. As your freind wouldn't either. Try a different approach. Find pamphlets for counselling agencies, print off informational brochures about PTSD, Print off a little PTSD forum introduction, find brochures on Rape, abuse etc... (whatever the need is there) and give them to her! Show her the options (various paths through the woods) and allow her to choose what she is comfortable with. That is all you can do.

    Bec
     
  7. jade

    jade Active Member

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    from what I found out my self is that no matter how miniscule we feel our trama might be everyone is different and reacts to situations differently. I too felt it wasn't traumatic enough but it really was.

    Jade
     
  8. harfatum

    harfatum New Member

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    Thanks all. She was depressed and missed her final exam today. Tonight, I was talking to her for hours and she was saying she just wants to die. She's completely unresponsive when I suggest that she look for something, anything to help her out. She talks to no one about this but me. I think she should try antidepressants for when she has episodes like this, but again, she won't even consider it. Has something against most pharmaceuticals cause her dad works for some company and he always complains about it. Doesn't want any other counseling, won't even consider the groups around her that are for that sort of thing.

    I have a lot on my mind, just got my own final grade in a class and it's incredibly low and I'm extremely stressed, and I don't even want to bring it up with her, the only really close friend I have. It's so frustrating.
     
  9. Josh77

    Josh77 Active Member

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    Hang in there, harfatum!!
     
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