I had a confusing (for me) conversation with WCB about my ptsd claim. I've been fighting with wcb about my diagnosis since last April, they deny the ptsd but I've been diagnosed with it by a T who is independent from them, so... pissing contest with ptsd as the prize. The claim is now in appeals, and my T is sticking with her diagnosis, even when her job was threatened if she refused to change her opinion (whole other ethical issue there). WCB today hinted that if I want my claim approved, I need to focus on the ugly parts of patient care, and the paramedic suicide epidemic here, and stop talking about the bullying and harassment I experienced. The problem is, I'm not bothered by the "ugly parts" of patient care. Patients experience horrible shit, sometimes they live, sometimes they don't. I always give my best effort, whether it's a hangnail or a gunshot wound, so their outcome doesn't bother me. I'm quite literal, no imagination, and I believe in 100% honesty. I can't lie. The few times I've tried, outside of being a young child of course, it's been really obvious and ended badly. I can't even play poker!!! I feel like I'm being asked to lie, in order to have my claim approved. Like I need to turn the patient's bad experience into my bad experience, in order to be covered for therapy. But it wasn't MY bad experience, and I don't actually feel bad about what I've seen. I've never had a nightmare, or a flashback, or an intrusive memory, about a patient. I've never lost sleep wondering "what if". I was told by wcb that I'm just under reporting how I REALLY feel about the things I've seen.... what??? I've seen horrible things with patients, and I have ptsd, but one is not related to the other. I have non-patient related Crit A trauma, why isn't that good enough? No where in the DSM does it specify that paramedics can only be diagnosed with ptsd if their crit A is related to patient care, not another trauma at work. Am I nuts, just blocking out the bad patient stuff? Do I lie? HOW do I lie? I can speak honestly about our suicide epidemic. No lies or ethical dilemma there. Minimizing the threats, bullying, and harassment? That seems fundamentally wrong to me. That enables the bullies, and those who have a duty to investigate but didn't. That allows them to get away with what they did. And, most importantly, it allows them to continue their behaviour, and victimize someone else. Lying about the cause of my trauma, to get my claim approved, WILL give me nightmares. What do I do?