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Ever Feel A Wall Between You and "Other People"?

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Daisy_May

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I know I have social problems; if I deem the other person to be higher on the social ladder I get sweaty palms and I stammer and have minor panic attacks, my eyes dart around and I have to run away.

That I can handle with some CBT, I'm sure. The thing I'm wondering is how I always seem to be obsessing about myself. I find I tend to zone out a little bit if other people go on about themselves. My friends find this very funny, and make jokes but it is worrying because I think it is rude and I want to be normal, not appearing self-centered. Even when I respond to other people's posts, I have to say how it affects me directly in order to get a grasp on the situation. I'd like to be like a lawyer and think of things objectively.

My mind runs very fast, all the time. I am ALWAYS thinking. Usually worrying lately, but I am going through some change.

I'm just wondering if anyone else feels very short of patience with other people, like there are four or five men I work with and whenever they call I am kurt and to the point because they talk very slowly and around the point, or try to make small talk which I cannot do with people I do not find interesting. I feel irritated an awful lot when people do not go with my pace of communication. Is this normal?
 
I know that, it's the same with me. Well, at least I am not 'normal', I have Asperger's, a form of autism.
There's always been an invisible wall between me and all other people interact with. Im also inpatient when other people talk very slowly or don't comprehend something I tried to explain 2 or 3 times. I know that's one of my very neegative traits and I try to stop it whenever I see it happening. Because it's not the other peoples' fault but mine.
Smalltalkis something very exhausting for me, I try to avoid it whereever I can.
 
Wow Chthulu, thank you for sharing that with me.

I have discussed this possibility with my T, but she believes it is just general anxiety and not Apsergers, though I have a cousin I am quite close to who suffers it--she is one of the coolest people I know, so laid back, not social and doesn't care, does her own thing and is actually getting married next year to a totally popular guy, polar opposites but they make it work.

Chthulu do you find you judge yourself at all? Or are you happily content with the way you relate? Do you feel frustrated a lot? Sorry I'd just like some insight, I am very interested. Thank you.
 
Autism is a spectrum, it can show in very different ways. Some are just happy with themselves, others want nothing more than to socialize, to have friends and contacts- but they just can't, or can't really.
I have a cousin who I think has Asperger's as well, too, it's often said that it might be a genetic thing. Asperger's and anxiety aren't mutually exclusive, just like PTBS and other things.

Surely I judge myself all the time, that often was and is a problem because it may stop me from doing/trying anything. Or it may take so much time inside my mind that the moment to say or do something is long gone when I'm ready to respond.
And no, I never was happy with the way I (non-)relate. As a child and adolescent it made me very depressive, in a chronical way. It still is an issue and one that'll never have a final solution but well- I try to make the best of it and not to think of all the things I just can't have because of my social and communicative oddness. There were long times in my past where I really was frustrated a lot, a lot is not right- all the time fits better. Like I said I try not to think about it too much because it does no good.
 
I know I have social problems; if I deem the other person to be higher on the social ladder I get sweaty palms and I stammer and have minor panic attacks, my eyes dart around and I have to run away.

I feel like this during work meetings or in any other social interaction where I don't feel in control. I don't show it, because I learned not to show my feelings with my father, since it provoked him, but I feel blood rushing into my head, my heart is pounding and I feel sweat poring down my back and sides of my arms. (Sorry for oversharing). It happens especially if I want to say something, because I feel like I am the stupidest person on the planet. I also have this heightened awareness that I am not like the other people, that I have all this trauma baggage. It sucks.

The thing I'm wondering is how I always seem to be obsessing about myself. I find I tend to zone out a little bit if other people go on about themselves.

That happens to me too, especially if I am triggered (which I am a lot). The zoning out is tough, sometimes people are talking to me and I see their mouth moving and I don't hear a word. I think anxiety somehow causes this barrier in my brain and I can't process any incoming info. I haven't felt from our interaction here that you're selfcentered at all, though. I think you're your harshest critic. I think you're very supportive and kind.

I'm just wondering if anyone else feels very short of patience with other people, like there are four or five men I work with and whenever they call I am kurt and to the point because they talk very slowly and around the point, or try to make small talk which I cannot do with people I do not find interesting. I feel irritated an awful lot when people do not go with my pace of communication. Is this normal?

I remember being like that the first couple years I was diagnosed with PTSD. All I focused on was my goals, no feelings, no being happy or enjoying myself, just going and going like a machine. I was very inpatient and probably a mean bitch too. I was a nasty driver too. It kind of occured to me later that all the anger over the things my ex did to me was spilling over into my interactions with other people. I calmed down eventually. The thing that helped the most was relaxing the standards to which I held myself. They were impossibly high and since I treated myself like shit I treated other people like shit too. I think you're way farther than me at that time, because you have an awareness that I didn't have. Plus, those guys might very well be totally boring and inefficient : )

You're a good person Daisy_May,
Take care,
Bluecat
 
I have always felt like there's been a wall between me and other people. I have always felt like I am different than every one else, like I just quite don't fit in....with the entire world. I always imagined that maybe I wasn't meant to be here, like maybe I was meant to be on another planet or in another dimension, or even another life form. Actually, like maybe I wasn't meant to be a part of the human race. That may sound extreme, but it's been a part of my thinking since I was young.

I have a hard time having conversations with people that talk slow or those that are long winded. I prefer short dialogue, like "how ya doing", "I'm fine", etc. Alot of times when someone is talking to me, and they just keep going on and on, I realize that I have drifted off and have no clue what they have said. I know it's rude, but I have a hard time concentrating for very long.

If I could just read/type instead of talking to anyone, I would be very happy. I don't feel a wall at all when I'm texting or on this forum, or in emails or PC's. I feel comfortable and I'm able to say whatever is on my mind. There's something about talking out loud that turns me into a self conscious, nervous wreck.
 
I have that problem sometimes too - where if people take too long to say what they want to say I just drift away. I blame it on my meds when they notice and they seem to accept that. I just can't concentrate that long when they're getting no where.
 
I have always felt like there's been a wall between me and other people. I have always felt like I am different than every one else, like I just quite don't fit in....with the entire world. I always imagined that maybe I wasn't meant to be here, like maybe I was meant to be on another planet or in another dimension, or even another life form. Actually, like maybe I wasn't meant to be a part of the human race. That may sound extreme, but it's been a part of my thinking since I was young.

i have had those exact feelings too since i was young. in fact, i have also thought and stated exactly what you said, that i was meant to be on another planet or that i was not meant to be part of the human race. i definitely relate to that.
 
i have had those exact feelings too since i was young.

I clicked 'like' because you understand how it feels, not because I like that you feel that way.....

The bad thing is, it's hard to keep trying sometimes when deep down I always feel like no matter what I do I'm not going to be a part of the human race.

But maybe( hopefully) as I heal ,I will start feeling differently.
 
The bad thing is, it's hard to keep trying sometimes when deep down I always feel like no matter what I do I'm not going to be a part of the human race.

But maybe( hopefully) as I heal ,I will start feeling differently.

i am struggling with this thought as well. it is like i don't feel a "connectedness" with others. i feel more of a connectedness with nature and animals then i do with other humans.
 
I constantly deal with that. I already had issues reading people but now I don't trust myself. I avoid making new freinds and hanging out with old friends. I think alot . I call it 'stewing' and sometimes my anger monster comes out.
 
More recently, I've been spending more time thinking about past trauma. I feel exactly the same way. Sometimes I'll walk down the hallway in my dorm, see a group of people, and immediately start staring at the floor to avoid any interaction with them. I avoid eye contact when I don't want to interact with people. When I was in third grade, I spent every recess standing on a toilet in the girls' room so I didn't have to talk to anyone else. I would leave the bathroom at a very strategic time so no one would figure it out. My whole life seems to be a pattern of drastic efforts to avoid social interaction. I don't know what I'm afraid of happening, but there's no convincing me that it won't happen. If I'm with friends and feeling that way, I'll either make an excuse or suck it up and go along with them. This seems to help the most, because I generally end up having an alright time. I just spend a lot of time crawling in my skin beforehand.
 
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