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Ever feel jealous of everyone you know(and possibly don't as well)?

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I feel like I've had such a hard bout of dealing with everything for half a year, and the year before that was really hard too...And the last weeks are hell. And some nights I feel so down, and scroll through facebook or instagram feeds aimlessly and everyone looks so happy and accomplished. And I feel so lost and feeling it hard to get through each day and haven't worked on my real goals more than trying to survive for so long that it just HURTS. And I know those are people that love me and I still doubt everything and everyone somehow. And feel excluded.

And I know, I know this is really unbecoming of me.
I know this isn't how I logically feel.
I know that social media feeds aren't realistic- even mine looks colorful and happy. I mean I post rarely and I haven't posted in a month...but what is already there is happy and makes me seem like interesting person. Which I can be in a normal state.
I know all this.
I know the grass isn't greener.
And still, I have those moments sometimes.
May be I'm in so much pain that it's easier to be concentrated on other people too.
I just wonder if I'm the only one doing this. I kind of think everyone on occasion gets in a bout of social media jealousy sometimes. Though I can be completely wrong and all this can sounds awful, of course...Ugh....as I said, very unbecoming, I'm usually the least jealous person too, this makes me feel very uncomfortable...
 
I totally get this.I think you are trying to look at it the right way, just can't get the mind and emotions on the same page. Try to flip it into self compassion. Acknowledge that you have had it really hard, and you story is going to look different than other peoples and have a different time line, but that doesn't mean it can't have a better ending.
 
When you are depressed stop trying to make yourself even more depressed.

That's just masochisti...
Hah...Yeah, I know, I shouldn't. I was just trying to distract myself from how I feel, and social media seems like an easy out. But then I just couldn't stop. I can't take entire break from social media, since my work is also interconnected, but after last night I am considering not looking at the feeds for a while.

I totally get this.I think you are trying to look at it the right way, just can't get the mind and emo...
Yup. When I'm low I find self-compassion really difficult, it's usually the other way around- I get particularly hard on myself. Then I get the occasional wave of self-compassion and seeing what I'm doing to myself and that it's making things worse. But a lot of the times I just don't see it, beating myself up mentally just seems ...natural. Ugh. I'll have to worn people I'll be a bit off-social media during the summer may be. It doesn't do much good.
 
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Oooooooh yeah. I've learned so much compassion for naturally jealous people & what they have to cope with... Just because that's not my natural state, either. So when it hits I'm just all :wtf: WTFO?!? :confused:

Usually? I just fawking thrilled for people. Hell yeah! Look at you rocking out! Damn straight! f*ck yes! Get some!

So when my automatic response isn't that? Instead of happy for them I'm sorry for myself? It's this bizarre combination of

:arghh;:bawling::sour::cry: || :cautious::bored::shifty: || :banghead::facepalm::wtf::bag:

I'm coming to realize that my own jealousy is usually comin out of a few places

- Wanting things (which is actually something I struggle with, so I'm learning to take note)
- Trust Issues / aka I don't trust that I'll be able to / am afraid (of not being able to get the things I want)
- Anger (that I don't have the things I want)


Once I can set the me-stuff aside? Then I've got 3 good things: a really clear idea -at least some- things I want in my life, an idea of how to go about getting them, & my ability to be happy for others, again, instead of just sad/angry for myself.
 
Ive never really been a jeleous person but in the past few years (social media and otherwise), all these happy moments, often with their grown children and grandchildren and feel sick that I don't have that. I feel defective. I am still happy for them but it is painful.
 
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