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Explosive Anger and How to Control It

Discussion in 'Discussion' started by popeye, Jun 28, 2009.

  1. popeye

    popeye New Member

    Since i developed PTSD I also got explosive anger that comes with it. I used to be a very relaxed guy until you pushed me too far. and even then it wasn't that bad I might shout and that's about it. But since the trauma I have developed a "RAGE" that doesn't give any warning of it's arrival and doesn't leave easily... Xanax is helping but I hate taking my pills. Any one else have this problem and if so how do you deal with it?
  2. Flower

    Flower Well-Known Member

    Yep

    During my trauma, when I was a child, I used to fly into fits of rage. Running, screaming, throwing things, getting into a lot of fights, etc. It was so bad sometimes that I was completely dissociated, looking down at myself 'fly off the handle' on someone. It happened through my teens and still sometimes now, but less frequently.

    It used to be that the anger would subside when I re-entered my body and felt the seething power that I wielded. It scared me. Turnaround being fair play and all aside, I felt like a monster. That depressed me enough the anger became sorrow and grief - not the recommended path.

    Now, I usually channel the rage into other activities. Since I moved recently, it has been things like unpacking and cleaning. Most of the time though, I run. I do sprints. I do long jogs. I throw the basket ball around a little or throw a tennis ball or something against a brick wall. Boxing is good, sometimes also swimming. My favorites are running stairs (feel like Rocky, especially if you have the theme song on repeat through headphones) and up-hill suicides (the sprinting exercise, it's really hard up-hill, but that is why it is effective). I once went on a 2 1/2 hour jog to make myself tired enough the rage was out of my system.

    I found a way to keep myself in control enough that I could divert all my energy into something productive (or at least not destructive of other people/things). I found resolution outside the rage. I created goals, purposes that I could focus on. Beware resolutions of destruction or harm. The power I feel from combining rage with resolution can be more scary than the loss of control from rage itself. It is like the difference between bloodlust and premeditated murder. They are both scary, but the latter has a more clearly negative moral impact for the perpetrator because he/she retains choice and control. Sorry if that is too graphic or an inappropriate metaphor. Make a list of positive things to focus on before your next feelings of rage, so there are options that can immediately come to mind.

    When I can't control my rage, I usually have to separate myself from other people or things I might hurt. The physical activity diversion is good for this. Now I have a partner who is able to calm me down and keep me positively focused, so I also have someone I can go to for help, which is very welcome after years of having to be alone with everything. If you can, bringing someone along on whatever you want to do can help.

    Anyhow, these are my experiences. Take and leave it as you like, except rage with destructive resolutions is rarely a good thing.
    Mina likes this.
  3. her_indoors43

    her_indoors43 New Member

    :eek:um..ive been in total melt down this weekend..
    .. hubby got home walked in door saw err i had a melt down...and just hugged me.....told me he loved me :kiss:
    i just said i hated your bedside drawers.....
    .its in peices smashed unfixable...all his stuff in it a mess on the floor....
    um ....his shed....um...few boxes of whatever got hurled everywhere....so huge pile of mess on shed floor....funny enough..guess what fell out of one of the boxes ...lol our wedding booklet we had done when we got married..22yrs ago ..and a pic of me as a bride sitting in my mothers rose garden surrounded with flowers...

    today hubby went to clean up his paperwork mess i created beside the bed he looked at me and said..you must really hate me....:mad:
    so went into melt down again for being sucha bitch to a beautiful man my soulmate...i went to wash up...angry at myself i through all the cups into the sink...well they all broke didnt they.....and i broke my 2 favcups i drink out of....they have pics of little bees on them,......my grandaughter who passed was named ..Bea...so....i have a few 'bee' things about the home to just bring her to our home...we would of spoilt her with bee things had she got to live...anyway....i broke our bee cups...im just not right in the head......in the heart.......:crazy:god i think i need the crying thread i read before....didnt post in cause it made me cry too....:wall:i hear ya julia....
    hubby has spent the day running around like headless chook getting everything done...my car towed to mech have struts fixed....blah blah...everytime..he just stopped an hugged me
    i havent had a melt down like this for awhile....breaking things...but i still can feel thisaweful energy running through me.....man im so 'sensitive' to everything...........i want to cry and melt intoa waterpuddle... one minute....next thing everything so loud and needs to be turned down....and today.....i ONLY WANT TO SAY IT ONCE......HOUSERULES HAVENT CHANGED FROM DOT......DONT EAT IN THE GODAM LOUNGEROOM AS I CLEAN MELTED CHOCOLATE ICECREAM OFF THE CARPET........

    WELL YOU CAN SEE MY ROLLERCOASTER...IVE STOPPED CRYING..........

    ffssnapoutofitwomen...........(ps..i unleashed my redheeler. abit oops .)....
    going to go post pics ....
  4. Blues in NYC

    Blues in NYC New Member

    Wish I could understand you ragers on some days. I'm in the "covert anger" and "repressed anger" camp. I think I've had glimpses of what expressed anger and rage feel like here and there during my recovery lately. But my window is fleeting...

    ...I guess being on the flip side means I break and tear up fewer things? Except for my insides. *sigh*
  5. her_indoors43

    her_indoors43 New Member

    Morning all...gosh hope i get my capitals right..sorry mina...

    Well this morning i woke up to see theres a shopping thread......:eek:

    I hate shopping.......part of my melt down of late is because well...we recently got some inheritance ....
    and we plan to update few things for our 3 girls and ourself so im aware...shopping trips are on.
    .which its the 30th today and most stuff is near half price that we hoping to get so..i got to go today........:eek: N left it till the last minute again.....sales end after june.

    um Blues...i dont have regular smash up derbys at home...its been few years actuly since my last smash up derby really....( is my nose growing) ok so maybe not years..maybe a year..gosh i cant remeber my last smash up derby......:crazy:

    Anyway so yeah i had melt down mood all week becuase im running out of shopping time and i have to go or pay full price tomorrow if i wait till july...
    as well as other stuff going on.....just been hectic month....anyhoo...

    OH and by the way. mina .my names not muriel.....(giggling ) if anyones seen the movie....Muriels wedding....muriels sister is always saying.....'your terribal muriel'......when she is being naughty........something my little sister says to me....ALL THE TIME....
    every familys got to have a norti little blackduck......:hello:

    i hope this is typed out right mina...sorry if its not...:poke:runs away from mina...before i get blasted.....
  6. LoveWins

    LoveWins New Member

    Hello,

    I get near uncontrollable, sudden, no warning type rage. I too was an incredibly chilled out person pre trauma. Before I was diagnosed, I was so scared for my life...I thought I was going insane. I still worry sometimes. It comes out for the most bizarre reasons...even the most tender acts of love from others can bring it out

    Unfortunately Im still battling, Ill let you know when I have more solid coping strategies developed

    Just wanted to say I know how you feel with it, its scary and makes me feel like my brains been taken over sometimes
    :Hug_emoticon:
  7. popeye

    popeye New Member

    i guess the purpose of this post was to see if other people have that explosive anger i have.. i mean i can be fine one second and then in a total rage the next. there is no warning but there are alot and i mean alot of triggers that can set it off. like my son telling me he won't pick up the floor. or someone cutting me off in traffic. or someone telling me that i should get over something and not let it bother me. things like that set me off and i have no stop once i am going into this rage. what i am looking for is hopefully someone has a way to not let that beast out. or if the beast does come out there is a quick way of calming the beast... boy i hope that made better sense
  8. TScorpio1

    TScorpio1 New Member

    Xanax for me too.... I've had to learn to walk away.... don't ever want to go to jail and I'm lucky. So.... I go to hard core and death metal shows where we are all expressing pretty much the same thing..... No real good advice, which is y I am seeking alternative treatment.
  9. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    Popeye... really get stuck into reading the information sections of this forum, even the carer one, all of them, as they all contain relelvant information about this and other issues and how to reduce them.
  10. Irton Pike

    Irton Pike New Member

    You are not alone popeye. I have found the forum sections on anger very useful. I have just started getting a grip of my anger through deliberate relaxation (hard work!) and accepting that no matter how justifiable my anger feels it is inappropriate for most if not all situations. My anger only serves to hurt me and my family and it pushes the people I care about most away from me. I know how low it feels to lose your temper and shout at your kids over nothing. It took me a long time but eventually I started asking myself "why am I angry?" what emotion sparked the anger? What about the situation caused the emotion?
    When I start applying that thinking I find it dissipates the anger. I have even got the mrs involved, so that when i start getting tetchy, she just asks me what the reason for my anger is. So far, it is working. Hell, last night I was on my bicycle and had to bang on a car window to stop them from running me over, and I did it without a massive anger reaction. I was scared but it was OK.

    Thats the first time I have controlled a situation like that in about three years, maybe more. It feels good. Went home and played with the kids rather than having hideous anxiety all evening.

    I don't think there is a quick cure, but you can do it if you look after yourself, and therefore, all those around you. Best of luck!
    popeye and anthony like this.
  11. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    Well done mate... excellent work Irton. You're right, it is constant work, but always a choice that we make, well done.
  12. Lionheart777

    Lionheart777 Lion-hearted Survivor Premium Member

    I have recently been battling the irritability that can accompany PTSD (which can trigger anger), but found that it was made worse by a Vitamin B 12 deficiency. So this is just a reminder to work with your regular family physician as well as therapist, psychiatrists, counselors, etc. Had the deficiency not been found, I would not only have had my recovery undermined and compromised, but I could have easily suffered permanent brain/nerve damage. So just to be safe, take your Multi-Vitamins. Good luck with anger management and a bit of friendly advice; don't be too hard on yourself, it takes time.

    Peace
    ~Lewie~
    her_indoors43 likes this.
  13. popeye

    popeye New Member

    Thank you all for the help. I did read the forum stuff too lots of good info there. My wife just joined the site too so she can understand it better as well. I wish my son were old enough to understand all of this fully.
  14. Manic11

    Manic11 Mystery Member

    Popeye,
    I've been wanting to reply to your thread for a while now but I have been having trouble thinking of what helps me when I deal with sudden rage. I just end up doing what most do... break things until I finally snap out if it.
    I hope you found something helpful throughout the site and I'm definitely proud that you're trying to find something/starting this thread.

    The thing is...I never stop to think about what could help when I'm bursting with rage (hell...who does!) but maybe next time, I'll try to take a few deep breaths and try to find something. If I do, I'll defintely let you know.

    I guess I'm not much help... Haha.
    Take care of yourself Sailor!

    Manic
  15. lost without help

    lost without help New Member

    ok here goes i'm really new at this so not sure how it works. My PTSD was just diagnosed so really losted about all of it. Today I lost my temper at work and quit (this happens on alot like every job I go though about 5 jobs a year this way) and i have no idea how to cope with not just losing my temper but the guilt i feel after I get home so sick of crying all the time any ideas?
  16. Irton Pike

    Irton Pike New Member

    lost

    that sounds like you haven't got any control of your anger. Why do you get angry? what sparks the outburst?
  17. lost without help

    lost without help New Member

    At the moment it seems like just about anything. That day it happened to be my supervisor instead of telling me what she wanted she just making nasty remarks within my hearing range. At one time I would have just blocked her out but it just seems like I can't stop the anger now and it's triggered really easy so the bf found out. I feel horrible when I lose my temper. It seems so much worse now that I've been diagnosed, it's like all my emotions are right at the surface and I have so little control.
  18. pianogirl

    pianogirl New Member

    Hey Popeye,

    I'm still in the midst of working with my anger issues. Yes, the forums have some great articles on anger issues.

    I've always been called a "spaz" or whatever since I was a kid, but lately I do snap and get really irritable and angry, especially if I'm startley, tired, or hypervigilent. Ideally, I AM a pretty mellow person, but then... something comes up.

    Lately, I've been doing a lot more physical activity. I run about 3 miles every other day. I'm a pretty competitive person, and just pushing myself as an athlete (even though I'm more of a recreational runner now) helps me. I guess it gets rid of that extra energy.

    I hope this helps a little.

    pianogirl
  19. anglico2024

    anglico2024 New Member

    I have Explosive Anger, but it's somewhat control with Zoloft and my psychotherapist, but since my dad died in May. All bets are off. Goodluck brother. You're not alone.
  20. talkingjack

    talkingjack New Member

    Pills Don't Work

    Try EMDR - google it, good info. Same has helped me some but not a fix all, at least not for me.
  21. popeye

    popeye New Member

    I am doing EMDR right now and it doesn't seem to be doing much... I have been to about 10 sessions of it already and still no effect on me. wondering if it is even going to work. But i am still going because that is the recommended treatment according to alot of doctors
  22. TLight

    TLight VIP Member

    High Popeye;

    oops.....mean't to say Hi.
    Anyway, I started on Seroquel about three months ago now and I'm on 100mg that I take at night. Last time I had a 'fit'.......I noticed that I wasn't as much controled by that powerful rage instinct. Like there was some space between me and the power of the emotion. I was more like standing back from it.

    I still had a fit, but it was no where near the intensity of the rages I've suffered from my entire life.

    And believe you me, I could definately rage like crazy........I had a boss change the locks on the office doors cause of me telling him off. He deserved it, but it was definately a substitute for me telling Daddy off and I really let him have it.

    Also, don't let things build up. If I'd of laid down some strict boundaries regarding how this butthead was treating me right from the very beginning, I could have probably circumvented the whole nasty scene and dealt with him

    Dealing with difficult people will always exist. But recognizing immediately when someone is treating you badly (which is hard for me to recognize cause I'm so darn used to it) and then taking positive action in a self-caring manner can really put the kaboosh on some of the rage.

    Anyway, this drug has been a GodSend to me, so I thought I'd share.
  23. Manic11

    Manic11 Mystery Member

    EMDR takes a while to kick in but I'm sure it will help, Popeye. Keep trying.

    Manic
  24. She Cat

    She Cat VIP Member

    I found that working on my trauma and feelings greatly reduced my rage. Before, I could go from zero to bitch in less than a second....Now it takes at least 6 seconds....LOL!!! Seriously, I rage much less these days, actually not much at all now....
  25. sticks-and-stones

    sticks-and-stones New Member

    Anger

    ARGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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