Grama-Herc
MyPTSD Pro
I made a decision a long time ago that the condition I've been given IS NOT MY FAULT. With that being said, I am very open about my conditon.
Case in point. Recently I attended my 45th class reunion. It was extremely difficult with all my issues, especially my agoraphobia and intense fear of people.
I finally agreed to go cuz a high school friend kept begging me to be there for her. She kept assuring me I would be ok. Once I got there, I discovered she had 2 other women with her, so I sat all 3 of them down, since it was obviously I was going to be with them during the parties, and told them exactly what I have going on with me. I asked them to never leave me sitting alone by myself and if I disappeared, give me some time and then come find me to be sure I was ok.
With their help I actually enjoyed myself. They did not judge me, they helped me. If fact, I of the gals was so interested in my issues that she asked if I minded answering questions about it. Now, I have had other people almost physically run from me when I chose to tell them. To me it was no loss. I've always been open and it has helped rid my life of people who don't really care about me.
But I refuse to be, or feel, guilty over something that is not my fault and which I have minimal control over. People are obivously the reason I am scared of them. I do what I can do. If I can't I simply say sorry, can't do it. Plus, I don't "owe" anyone an explanation other than "sorry, I can't, but thank you." PERIOD. If that is not acceptable to them, screw em!!!! Baby steps can accomplish more than you think.
Case in point. Recently I attended my 45th class reunion. It was extremely difficult with all my issues, especially my agoraphobia and intense fear of people.
I finally agreed to go cuz a high school friend kept begging me to be there for her. She kept assuring me I would be ok. Once I got there, I discovered she had 2 other women with her, so I sat all 3 of them down, since it was obviously I was going to be with them during the parties, and told them exactly what I have going on with me. I asked them to never leave me sitting alone by myself and if I disappeared, give me some time and then come find me to be sure I was ok.
With their help I actually enjoyed myself. They did not judge me, they helped me. If fact, I of the gals was so interested in my issues that she asked if I minded answering questions about it. Now, I have had other people almost physically run from me when I chose to tell them. To me it was no loss. I've always been open and it has helped rid my life of people who don't really care about me.
But I refuse to be, or feel, guilty over something that is not my fault and which I have minimal control over. People are obivously the reason I am scared of them. I do what I can do. If I can't I simply say sorry, can't do it. Plus, I don't "owe" anyone an explanation other than "sorry, I can't, but thank you." PERIOD. If that is not acceptable to them, screw em!!!! Baby steps can accomplish more than you think.