foreverlala13
New Here
So I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. I've always been super anxious but for the past few months, it has escalated and I finally went to my doctor. Relationships are extremely scary to me. I always assumed I've done something wrong or people hate me but now I'm paranoid all my friends are plotting against me. I had a double date with my best friend and the guy I like and I got paranoid they were talking behind my back even tho she has a boyfriend. It's gotten to the point where I've avoided her. And recently, I've become scared she thinks I'm flirty with her boyfriend/interested in him and is gonna tell the guy I like (him and i are not currently speaking). I'm also worried she thinks i have feelings for her especially bc i texted her 5 times in a row tonight. I told her how that guy and I are no longer speaking and I'm scared she's gonna start talking to him now if she hasn't already and since she hasn't replied since I told her how anxious I feel about everyone hurting me, I'm even more scared.My paranoia makes lots of connections. Since my friend keeps posting lots of pictures with her bf, I think it's bc of me. Maybe she's done it before and I gave it no thought but I'm unsure. I dont want to doubt all my friendships. I doubt every single one of them. I worry people from work applied there to spy on me for the guy i like. My ocd makes me have intrusive thoughts about specific days and I live in fear that it's a sign something bad will happen. I'm constantly making connections to things. I have a therapist but i still feel awful and currently no medication bc my insurance sucks and I won't see my doctor until the 25th.