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Extremely Worried About My Son - His PTSD Is Way Out Of Control

Discussion in 'General' started by becvan, Mar 8, 2007.

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  1. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Hi guys.. I need some.. help, advice.. something..

    Matt's ptsd was just a step below full blown until this January. He had nightmares, flashbacks, hyper-vigilence.. etc.. but was still able to get to school and what not.

    Well after the incident with Chris being here (the whole scaring the pants off Matt, acting violent and swinging at me scene) Matt has gotten as bad as I am. He's been puking and passing out. Isn't sleeping etc..

    He's starting to miss a LOT of school. He's home today. He got halfway there and started to pass out and had to head home again. He's in bed sleeping right now. He's been complaing of nasuea, headaches, not getting enough sleep etc.. You know the usual bs symptoms we all have.

    I have Chris out of the house now. I've changed the locks. Bought Matt a new boombox so he can listen to music to help him sleep. Cleaned out his room so he has a serene space.. etc..

    I don't know what else to do! I can't put him through exposure therapy! No way he's taking meds, ever. Over my dead body.

    I know this will kick back in a few months.. but I have to get the kid through school!

    Any suggestions? I'm at a loss for what else to do here...

    bec
     
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  3. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    When I get bad my husband does this...

    Reminds me I am safe. The danger is no longer real even if it feels like it is. Cold rags for my face. Cold iced water as I get parched when I lose track of breathing and hyperventilate and don't know it. If he gets thirsty it is a sign he is doing this. I am reminded my mind is playing a very cruel trick on me. Encourage him to go out and walk with you and to practice centering himself and breathing. Try a variety of music to see what relaxes him. At 11 he is going to have hormones coming in and surging a little, that may add to it. Try to get him moving when you can and constantly reassure. Try things that help talk you down.
     
  4. Linda

    Linda Well-Known Member

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    Don't know what to advise, but thinking of you both...
    Get better.
     
  5. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Thanks guys.. I have the whole negative self talk with him. At this point, not helping..

    mind you, I'm a mess myself.. I'm limited in helping and he hates talking to me about it. He's still trying to protect me.

    I got pissed off this morning. We are not functioning and we are NOT getting any help here. So I did some major searches and found a place in Thunder Bay (which is four hours away from here) for kids. It's called the Children Centre Thunder Bay. They take parent referrals!! And there is no charge!! So I have a phone appointment interveiw on Tuesday. They will start the intake and see how they can help. They offer pysch services, in and out patient services, cooridinate care with families.. etc.. Rather extensive services actually. So if all goes well, I just might finally get some help for him. Course we would have to move.. but hey they have pyschs there that I could see!

    imagine that..

    Did I mention how much this area sucks?

    bec
     
  6. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    bec,
    i can so relate. my son also has ptsd. he has a tramatic brain injury too but my expereance with him ,he is 26 years old now , and when he go's off on his attacks i take him and make him look at me. face to face we talk i let him say what he can and let him know that what ever he says is ok. but to get it out . keeping it to himself will only make it harder on him. we help eachother. when im having an attack he's there for me. eye to eye contact is hard sometimes but it grounds us so we can see more clearly. I hope this helps. take care
    slhlilbit
     
  7. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    I am sorry that Matt is feeling poorly at the moment. I think cleaning his room and giving him music was a wonderful idea, and I agree no meds. He is far too young. I don't have much else to recommend, as I never quite know what to do with Evie. However I do have faith in you, I sense you are a good mother, you care, and you do your best. Sometimes that's all you can do for a child or family member, just be there for them when they need you, listen to them and love them. The Children Centre in Thunder Bay sounds promising. I hope it is not too difficult to relocate. Take care please and keep us updated.
     
  8. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    thanks kathy, I will keep you updated.

    I wanted to move further west, but ran into legal snags. I have custody of Matt, but the agreement doesn't cover moving provisions. Technically, I could be charged with kidnapping if I don't figure out what is legal or not, and/or fight it out in court. I've been trying to get legal answers for a month and a half now with no luck. Thunder Bay is out of our district, but within our electoral district. Legal to move there no matter what! Ha!

    It sounds really promising. The lady I spoke to on the phone was great. She was shocked at our situation here (everyone is that's not from here.. lol) and made sure we will at least get looked at and considered. It's ran by United Way, so it's looking good!

    Matt rested at home all day. He's feeling a bit better now. We will see about tomorrow. I find it very frustrating to be watching and feeling so helpless. His age is a big factor since he doesn't understand a lot of it. He's just learning what his attacks look like now and he's had PTSD for five years!

    Do you get frustrated with feeling helpless? I know it just eats at me on bad days like this.

    bec
     
  9. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    Oh dear. You should speak to my son Brian. He has had similar issues with custody and moving. However thankfully he now has full custody of his son and is able to move anywhere within the province in which he's living (Alberta). I suppose though that laws could vary province to province. That is simply appalling that you are having to wait so long for answers! It seems a fairly straightforward question, if you ask me.

    Yes, I understand the frustration well. I've experienced it to varying degrees with all my children, although my Evie is by far the most intense. I hate to see her suffering and in pain, the mother in me wants to take all that pain away. It's difficult to accept that there's not much I can do other than be there to support and love her. She is however, remarkably better when she regularly spends time drawing. That is her special interest and talent, and a wonderful therapy for her. I am wondering, does your Matt have a special interest you can encourage? It may help to cheer him some.
     
  10. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Wow, that is great news about Brian! I'm so glad to hear that he won custody. Tell him congrats from me please! Wonderful news.

    Yes it seems fairly straightforward, but in order to get the answers, I have to hire a lawyer and I can't afford it. So I've been trying to call every agency I can think of to find the answers some other way... LOL it's not working yet.. but I'm tenacious to say the least.

    Unfortunately, Matt doesn't have any special interests. He developed PTSD when he was around age six. Children, at that age, deal with trauma by re-enacting what they went through. Matt plays video games and watches movies that are... death.. Military hunt games and such. I'm trying to get him interested in guitar playing but mine is in for repairs currently. The only thing he really loves is bugs and lizards. He's amazing when it comes to biology. I encourage this as much as I can. I buy him books, models to put together etc.. His interests needs to be worked on. He barely has any. He tries to keep a continaul dissassociation on the go.

    bec
     
  11. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Funny thing today.

    I went to the doc this morning and we had a good chat. He's very concerned because my heart rate is 118 and it's not coming down. (that's resting) So anyways, we were discussing the pysch.. still no word and he's not sure if or when I will get a call. So he suggested Thunder Bay! I laughed and then told him about this centre for kids and what's going on. He told me to let him know next month if we are accepted and he will refer me to a psych there so that when I move I will have an immediate appointment!

    Hmm.. feel like fate is leading my hand here..

    matt made it to school today. Not sure how his day went so far, as he's not home yet.. but he made it there! So that's good.

    bec
     
  12. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    Wow that sounds too good to just be a coincidence about Thunder Bay! I hope you get to move there, if you want to that is. It sounds like it might be really good for you guys. I'm glad Matt went to school today too.
     
  13. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Bec,

    I hope everything with Thunder Bay works out for you guys. Sounds like a great place for both of you.

    Until you know what's going to happen, is there anyway you can speak to the school and see if there's a tutor who can come to your house to teach Matt? Maybe make school a part time deal (i.e. two days a week school, three days home school? or whatever way you want). And if not, see if there's anyway you can pick up his lessons and teach him when he's not up to school. I know things are different everywhere, but here in Florida, if a child has a handicap, if they need a home tutor-they get it, transportation to school straight from home-they get it, speech therapist-they get it, etc. But like most programs that are helpful and free (paid for by taxes), they don't advertise. The only reason I knew about any of these things was because I was in education for so many years. Call your local school or school board and see what kind of answers they can give you. Hopefully there's some program to help. *keeping my fingers crossed for both of you on everything*
     
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