• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Extrovert Vs Introvert In Relation To Therapy

  • Thread starter Deleted member 1860
  • Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Deleted member 1860

I was chatting with a friend of mine today and thought this would be a good topic of discussion here on the forum. A few days ago I read a Facebook post that linked to an article that discussed how Introverts interact with the world differently than extroverts. This is the article.... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/07/physical-behavior-of-introverts_n_6069438.html

It dawned on me that certain parts of treatment may be geared more toward the extroverted personality instead of the introverted personality. The one that comes to mind immediately is the push toward being more social. Without trying to give too many details away, my friend was saying how his therapist was always pushing him to be more social and that he is stuck at a certain level of treatment because the therapist doesn't think he's being social enough. He is around people much of the day and it is quite draining for him. I told my friend that if I was around people as much as he was, I'd feel quite drained as well and wouldn't have much energy left for socializing any more. (We are both introverts.)

Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that its good for us to isolate, because I know it isn't. I'm not saying that we shouldn't try to be social, because we should. What I am saying is that it seems like therapists may be pushing people toward goals which would make an extrovert thrive, but not necessarily an introvert.

And, even in my own experience, this seems to be true as well. I remember being in treatment in the trauma unit and they would monitor our activity levels and how social we were. If we weren't social enough, we were locked out of our rooms! And, if we were on the lowest safety level, we were locked out of our rooms. (This would be from just after waking up until bedtime.) Fortunately that never happened to me, but I can see how that sort of "punishment" would be detrimental to an introverted personality in that they had to be subjected to everyone else on the unit for all waking hours of the day. (I would have gone nuts!)

I honestly think that it would help if treatment providers recognized these different personality styles and took them into account. That is, not all of us want to be alone because we have a mental illness and the mental illness is making us want to be by ourselves. I personally like being by myself and have no problems with it. I never get bored and can always find ways to entertain myself or have fun. I am social on my own terms, but I am still hesitant to even discuss my social level with a therapist as the common attitude is "you need to be more social and go out and make more friends".

Thoughts?
 
Interesting article. Kind of makes me glad that my T at least claims to be an introvert. He has suggested that I "consider the possibility of a social life." To which I replied that I'd consider it. He might bring it up again, but he probably won't lock me out of the office in the cold. There were some traits in the article that I hadn't considered, like disliking small talk but enjoying more meaningful conversations.

One of my "problems" with a lot of extraverts is that they seem to think everyone should be like them. I can see where that could make things difficult in some therapeutic settings.
 
Luckily, my doc knows that I'm a big research and book nerd, so doesn't push me. She did, however, instruct me to go out after work at least once a week. (Whoa, the 25-year-old partier in me is cringing at that sentence!) And even that was hard for me after sharing an office with 2 people in close proximity for 8-9 hours a day!

But yes, @Solara, I can totally see your point here. I think that it would be more accurately addressed if people spent time thinking about what activities make them feel energized and tired, so they can map out where they fit on the introversion spectrum.

Back when I was drinking all the time, I was convinced I was an extrovert. Then two of my best friends told me I was an introvert (somehow it came up in conversation and they were both in agreement) and I was so mad at them for weeks, because I thought being an introvert was so lame! :/ Now I know enough to know that I can be really extroverted when people are around, but in order to best do that need some down time for myself, too. If I don't get that time then I get cranky, which never helps things!
 
I think it's helpful to understand introversion, and understand it as separate from the mental health stuff (though interconnected in some ways). My therapist seems to understand introversion pretty well (she's probably an introvert herself) because she brought it up as within my bounds of "normal" when I was worried I'm too much of a hermit. I do need to work at relationships a little more, but I will always need space and solitude and quiet and time to process. Where it over-laps with trauma stuff sometimes is probably some of the social connection stuff, environment, unpredictability, and stimulus level. But at my healthiest, I'm an introvert and it's helpful to accept that.

I had one therapist always nagging me about spending more time with friends and what was I doing that was more fun than artwork? Um, NOTHING. Nothing is more "fun" than artwork, by myself. She sort of made me feel like a loser. But from her perspective, I was too isolated in a mental health way, like a pathological loner. So it felt like we were just off track sometimes. I like that my current therapist can separate the trauma stuff from the personality stuff a little better because it helps me understand it myself better...helps me accept myself but also understand where I can challenge myself in meaningful ways (smaller social gatherings, calling friends for smaller or quieter meet ups, nurturing friendships with people who like to just sit around and discuss philosophy or art or death, etc...no crowded, noisy bars please).
 
Last edited:
First of all, you don't need to apologize for not being upbeat. Second, while I like hearing about your sessions, I do not expect you to write about everything! Third, I completely understand the not having time to fall apart thing. It is very hard to keep it together, especially when we feel an overwhelming urge to release pent up emotion. I know it's getting late, but can you find some alone time to write or listen to what your body needs to do? I'm only asking because I know how ignoring signals can be devastating because I've needed to cry for a very long, long, time. In other words, sometimes we have to make time to fall apart, whatever that means for us. I don't understand everything that happens in my therapy sessions. However, I do continue to process many sessions long after they're over. I don't leave therapy in the room, if you know what I mean. Does your therapist know that Emma drove home?

I might not make it to my therapy session in the morning. We have a pretty big snowstorm going on that's supposed to last through the night. I really hope the weather clears up because I need the longer session. I have had many bone scans before. I don't know why I was freaking out about it. Maybe it wasn't the actual test but the results. It went fine, and I am watching TV now. I hope you're able to calm down enough to sleep. I am not looking forward to the nightmares, but I am thinking about you!
 
I wish that my T would understand that I get very tired of people. I have a few good friends, some online friends and I feel content. My introversion has never stopped me from succeeding, in fact, I think in many ways it's helped me. My T doesn't understand that I'm a very private person and that I don't want to make superficial friends just to do activities with. Also, I don't want to answer the typical questions that are asked, like "where do you work?"
which would immediately lead to "why don't you work?" etc.

It's not that I don't socialize, or can't socialize, I just need substantial time alone, I get quickly overwhelmed by crowds, noise and people, especially now that I have PTSD. I wish my T could understand this and not put so much pressure on me. That article pretty much hit spot on as to my personality.
 
One of my "problems" with a lot of extraverts is that they seem to think everyone should be like them. I can see where that could make things difficult in some therapeutic settings.

Scout86, I completely understand! I have gone on a few vacations with friends, who were all extroverts. I was the only introvert. We spent TONS of time together, but I still needed some alone time each day. The extroverted friends told me that I was being rude and they got mad at me because I wasn't with the group during all waking hours. I think this is very much a "they don't know what they don't know" sort of situation? I think that perhaps its easier for an introvert to see the extroverted side of things because we have had it forced on us our whole lives. Well, in my experience extroversion is good because it means you are social and you have friends, while introversion means you are an antisocial loner. (Very black and white thinking, but yes, that is the perception that many have.)

I can not recharge in the presence of others and I agree this is totally different than "isolating".

I wish that everyone could see this! I can't but help wonder if it would help some supporters to see this side of things, too. I've read a number of supporter posts where they are upset when their sufferer needs alone time and can't be around them 24/7. I can't help but wonder if its not all PTSD and that the sufferer truly is introverted and will have that requirement for life.

Back when I was drinking all the time, I was convinced I was an extrovert. Then two of my best friends told me I was an introvert (somehow it came up in conversation and they were both in agreement) and I was so mad at them for weeks, because I thought being an introvert was so lame! :/ Now I know enough to know that I can be really extroverted when people are around, but in order to best do that need some down time for myself, too. If I don't get that time then I get cranky, which never helps things!

I completely understand this! I denied the label for the longest time but now I am comfortable with it. I am tired of pretending that I'm something I'm not. I'm like you in that I can be extroverted when others are around but I really do need my alone time. It really does show that its not a black and white sort of thing, rather a spectrum.

I think it's helpful to understand introversion, and understand it as separate from the mental health stuff (though interconnected in some ways). My therapist seems to understand introversion pretty well (she's probably an introvert herself) because she brought it up as within my bounds of "normal" when I was worried I'm too much of a hermit. I do need to work at relationships a little more, but I will always need space and solitude and quiet and time to process. Where it over-laps with trauma stuff sometimes is probably some of the social connection stuff, environment, unpredictability, and stimulus level. But at my healthiest, I'm an introvert and it's helpful to accept that.

I'm glad that you have a therapist who understands the difference! I know I need to work more at being social, but now I am trying to find more friends who are more along my wavelength and don't guilt me into hanging out with them when I need some down time.

I wish that my T would understand that I get very tired of people. I have a few good friends, some online friends and I feel content. My introversion has never stopped me from succeeding, in fact, I think in many ways it's helped me. My T doesn't understand that I'm a very private person and that I don't want to make superficial friends just to do activities with.

I think you make a very good point! There are a lot of successful people out there who are introverts. Not every career path involves working with people all day long. Some are more inclined to go for careers that involve less interaction and more alone time. I don't think that being an introvert will hinder someone career wise.

I wish your T understood you better, as I know its not fun going into therapy and having to disagree with someone whom you're trying to get help from because they just don't understand the type of person you are.
 
Outgoing Extrovert (classic)
Outgoing Introvert (mistaken for extroverts)
Shy Extrovert (wallflower... Mistaken for introverts)
Shy introvert (classic)

On the above scale, I'm an outgoing introvert. Pretty much always have been. Except when I'm dealing with trauma stuff, aka in the PTSD badlands, my normal on this scale skews. Badly. I have an almost constant need for touch, 24/7. I start going seriously crazy on my own instead of recharging. But I also isolate like blazes. Ugh. I'm so dang needy when broken, that I'd rather stay away. So I change to both clingy and distant. Yuck. I also go from loving meeting new people, can talk to anyone, to seriously overwhelmed/ snarly around people.

I wonder how much our natural inclinations are affected by trauma? And how much the treatment plans are dealing with returning to baseline vs current needs & abilities?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top