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Faerie's Mental Imagery

Discussion in 'General' started by faerieevenstar, Jan 2, 2007.

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  1. faerieevenstar

    faerieevenstar Member

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    WARNING: If you plan on submitting your own mental imagery interview for assessment, DO NOT read the proceeding first, instead fill out your own interview first, then read these, so your current mental image is not skewed, resulting in a possible inaccurate emotional state being returned to you.

    This is an imaginery journey down a road. Take in the sights, sounds and colours, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing whatis far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, colour and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results, then attach your drawing via snapshot or scan to your post.

    Q1. What colour is the road? Red, slightly orangey... almost terracotta
    Q2. What texture is the road? Rough but flat. Like tarmac.
    Q3. How solid is the road? Feels safe and solid.

    You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind, just imagine seeing yourself do it.

    Q4. How do you cross the river? There is a bridge. It is made from old rocks and looks well established.
    Q5. What does the water look like? Really clear. I can see pebbles at the bottom
    Q6. How fast is the water current? Babbling, quite fast,l but the water is too shallow for it too wash me away.
    Q7. Is there anything in the water? If so, what? Beautiful brightly coloured pebbles.

    You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.

    Q8. What colour is the house? Dark brown, almost black
    Q9. What condition is the house in? It looks like it's in disrepair, it's falling to bits. It looks very old and the garden looks over grown and unkempt and the windows are dirty with rotting frames.
    Q10. Does anyone live in the house? If so, who? Noone lives there

    We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it's look, condition and contents.

    Q11. What colour is the cup? It's white.
    Q12. What condition is the cup in? It looks new. Clean, pristine.
    Q13. Is there anything in the cup? If so, what? Water. Fresh and clear.

    You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.

    Q14. What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail? It is the man who raped me. As I move either way he moves to block me. He will only let me go backwards, not a step forwards. He isn't touching me. He is standing with his hands on his hips with an evil smile on his face.
    Q15. What do you see beyond the obstacle? There is a path that goes over the top of a hill. I cannot see what is on the other side of the hill, but I know I want to get there. There is a beautiful sunset on the horizon.
     
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  3. faerieevenstar

    faerieevenstar Member

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    Now you have had a break, go back to every question and look at your response. Try and find what you feel that your mind presented the image it did. Explain colours you chose, textures, water, cup, solids, liquids, space, objects, people, anything and everything that you wrote from your projected image, try and find what you feel to why you have that image. Don't look hard at things, instead try and look for the easy answers, as they are often the correct one's. Don't attempt to find something that isn't present, just look at each aspect for its absolute simplicity.

    This is not an absolute, but something you must do in order to try and self analyse yourself. This is important. Please answer what you can, and simply define if you cannot find an emotion to a response you gave.


    The road itself gave me the impression of a desert or something similar, a hot place. I've never been to a hot place like that as I find the heat uncomfortable. I wonder if that is maybe because I'm finding this journey uncomfortable. I think I felt very isolated in the middle of nowhere. The texture was rough as if I wouldn't want to trip over onto it, but it was stll solid enough to keep me going. Like everything is there for me to help myself but I just find it too hard and uncomfortable to do it.

    The river was pleasant. It reminded me of a place I used to go to as I child and my brother and I would play Pooh Sticks. It felt like a secure, safe place to be, like my childhood. I enjoyed being a child, nothing bothered me when I was young and innocent. I was confident in going over the bridge but quite scared of what I found on the other side. I think this may be symbolic of me leaving the security of childhood and finding a big scary place ahead of me. The house was tumbledown and frightening but I don't think anyone was there. I felt very alone and I was sure I didn't want to venture into the house. I would have happily goner back to the river.

    The cup seemed to represent a lot of purity. It was white, clean, new, and full of fresh water. It almost feels like the opposite of me. I feel dirty and impure in comparison to the cup. Perhaps it is what I wish to be.

    The obstacle obviously represents what is holding me back and I knew it was him. He doesn't need to touch me anymore, he only has to look at me, or in reality I only need to see him in my head and he prevents me from going forward. I imagine it is significant that I didn't know what was ahead, I just knew I wanted to get there. Perhaps I need to know what I am heading towards before I can get around the obstacle?
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Life

    You're in denial about the reality of your life and the progress your making. You believe you are happy like a child and progressing well, when in fact you're finding life very uncomfortable, difficult to navigate and display signs of sadness. High emotion mixed with a wish to return to a happier time, aware of moderate difficulty. You're wearing a mask to fool others, including yourself.

    Sexual Relationships

    You demonstrate a marked inhibition towards trusting others. You enjoy sexual interaction with excitement and impulsiveness, and as a result demonstrate that you approach sexual relationships without control, but instead possibly under the control of others. Denial present that you may not be in control here and possibly believe your not in over your head.

    Support System

    You demonstrate a poor self esteem, you feel your support system is poor and that you are unappreciated, or depreciated for another term. You feel quite alone to deal with your trauma. A secret involving not being appreciated by family possibly, feeling sad about this. Alienation or feeling unloved by family maybe? Your pain is clear that you would rather go back to being involved sexually than possible abandonment by family.

    Commitment

    Whilst you require honesty within your relationships, you have an innocent idealism about commitment, naivety even, with a deception of believing healthy relationships exists to yourself, and others. Had mother been more supportive possibly, you would not have felt so devalued. You may have sought the company of men who used you for their pleasure. You possibly cope with your sense of abandonment and loss of mother's love by finding exciting relationships with men who end up using and hurting you. You show commitment towards someone or something else, other than your spouse.

    The question you may be asking yourself; had mother loved me, why didn't she protect me?

    Most Significant Problem

    Your overwhelming feeling is victimization, though you are conflicted in that you see him as evil, though believe that there must be some good in men, because after all you demonstrate a feeling that mother did not show unconditional love towards you. You present mixed feelings about the future, believing it will get more difficult, though hoping for some relief from your pain of victimization. You possibly cope with your sense of abandonment and loss of mother's love by finding exciting relationships with men who end up using and hurting you.

    Faerie, what you can connect between this and your life?
     
  5. faerieevenstar

    faerieevenstar Member

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    I'm not sure about the 'Loss of mother's love' at all. My mother has always been there for me, even now we call each other regualrly and she was incredibly supportive of me after I was raped and came with me to the police station, and often came to mental health appointments with me whenever I asked her to :dontknow: So I'm not sure where that bit comes from. I have always felt supported by her. Other members of my family do have other issues that take up their time, but they've always been as supportive of me as they could be... my mother has always put me first though...

    I do feel perhaps that my husband often doesn't support me... I think it's more through lack of understanding though. He hold me when I cry and tries to soothe me when I'm scared... but he still tries to force me to go out and do things and phone people when I'm not confident. I think it's the 'tough love' approach but it does sometimes feel like he doesn't care...

    I think I probably am in denial about how happy I am. I'm so desperate to not fall backwards and have a breakdown again that I'm probably masking a lot of things. I don't allow myself to think of things that hurt me in the hope they'll go away.... it doesn't really work. I feel I should be happy as I'm newlywed and I love my husband so much.. so with love in my life how could I possibly be sad??

    I am absolutely terrified of confronting what happened to me. I don't want to get worse but I fear I'll have to in order to get better, but my biggest fear is ending up in a mental institution.

    I have always been torn over my feelings towards my abuser.... I am angry at him and believe he must be evil.. but at the same time I pity him and fear for his wellbeing. I've always been one of those people who try to find good in the bad and bad in the good.. nothing is black and white to me, so I believe he cannot be pure evil, though it makes it very complicated in my mind. Sometimes I almost worry about HIM and if HE is ok... like he is a victim too... it's stupid.

    Self esteem.. I've always had low self esteem even since I was a little girl. I don't know why. My parents always told me I was great at things and I WAS good at things... I've just never had the faith in myself. Self esteem has got lower throughout my life to the point where I really don't think I'm worth anything anymore.

    My husband has always said I'm naive about the world... he said it's one of the things he loves about me. He says the reason I get so upset with things is because the world is so damaged and corrupt, but I still believe there is a glimmer of hope to fix it all... whereas he thinks its all futile. He thinks it's my belief that the world isn't all bad that makes me so sad...

    I've probably answered these all in a weird order but that's how my mind works... :crazy-eye After doing this sort of thing and thinking about things that worry me I always get very tired and now I think I'm going to have to have a snooze... is that normal or is it just my way of shutting the world out when I have to think about things I don't like?
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Faerie, here is a little relationship test mental imagery style. Please answer the following:

    There is a "thorn", "vine" and a "tree".

    # Which one are you, and which one is your husband from your perception?
    # Which one is your husband, and which is you from your husbands perception?
    # Which one are you, and which one your mother from your perception?
    # Which one is your mother, and which one is you from your mothers perception?
     
  7. faerieevenstar

    faerieevenstar Member

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    There is a "thorn", "vine" and a "tree".

    # Which one are you, and which one is your husband from your perception?

    I am a thorn, he is a tree

    # Which one is your husband, and which is you from your husbands perception?

    He is a tree, I am a vine

    # Which one are you, and which one your mother from your perception?

    We are both trees (is that allowed??)

    # Which one is your mother, and which one is you from your mothers perception?

    She is a tree, I am a vine
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Ok, here is the mental image as perceived by each person, their view uniquely of the relationship involved.

    The healthy tree will not tolerate the thorn.
    The tree will grow tired of the vine needing support all the time.
    This is the ideal situation, and the healthiest. Each person should be able to stand alone but will choose the company and love of another stronger person with a healthy self-esteem. This relationship will bring the most satisfaction.
    The tree will grow tired of the vine needing support all the time.

    Meanings

    Thorn: That person may be inflicting pain on you and you are simply putting up with it. This is unhealthy.

    Vine: The person you love may be very needy and dependent on you for his or her emotional needs. While not as unhealhty as the thorn, this can be very draining.

    Tree: That person is firm and can stand alone; he or she is able to bear fruit to offer you. Seeing your loved one as a tree is very healthy.

    Obviously adapt each phrase appropriately to either yourself, or the loved one.

    Now, earlier we were talking about denial Faerie, and this just helped confirm it, hence why your mother was mentioned earlier. You see yourself in one instance as a thorn, the next a tree. The correct answer if denial wasn't present, would be the same response for both in referencing one self, because you do not change your view of yourself that fast. You just mentally presented denial as with what was defined within the original mental imagery itself. This isn't about proving a point, but merely to help you see and bring your real emotional state to the surface. This little example above not only outlines denial, but how each person is perceived by another within a relationship, or one anothers views of the other person.

    If you look at each a different way:

    Thorn = Aggressive Nature
    Vine = Passive Nature
    Tree = Assertive Nature

    Please remember, there is no right or wrong to this, but just merely a representation of your deeper emotional self. Mental imagery comes from teh subconcious, not concious level. Once interpreted, it helps the concious process the underlying subconcious emotional self.
     
  9. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Before the man as your last obstacle, there is another obstable, what is it and please describe it?
     
  10. faerieevenstar

    faerieevenstar Member

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    I've been trying to do this and I'm really having trouble seeing anything. I even tried running a nice relaxing bath with candles where I felt all safe and secure and I coiuldn't see anything... :dont-know
     
  11. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Faerie, there are literally millions of things in life that you could choose as an object, but the thing is, is that the one you choose will have a subconscious resemblance to your current state. Don't think hard about it, just ask yourself "there is an obstacle before that man, what is it?" First thing that comes to mind, write it down as you see it, colours, shapes, feelings, etc.
     
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