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MVA Fatal Car Accident Survivors. Life Change?

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Not sure if anybody will see this, as these posts are old. But I thought I would share my story anyway. I was 17 at the time, 18 now.

December 10th, 2013 I was in a near fatal car accident. I was on my way to work. It was pretty cold out that day, 0 degrees with the windchill. Other than that, I thought it was pretty nice out. I wasn't driving too cautious. The speed limit was 55, but I always did 65, including this day. The roads were clear, until I went around the curve. I couldn't see that on the other side of the curve, the road was covered in snow. I saw this, and panicked, hit my breaks which caused me to lose control of my car. I saw another car coming towards me, and I knew it was going to hit me.

Next thing I remember, I woke up to blood all over me. No pain, just blood. I thought I was fine, and in a minor car accident. I thought my nose was bleeding. I didn't realize it at the time, but I couldn't move. I was just trying to find my phone so I could call for help. Then a man gets in my car, and tells me hes here to help me. He grabs a shirt in my car and holds it to my head and tells me I have a huge cut on my head, a very deep one. He calls my parents, but can't get a hold of them. He also told me that by looking at my car, he thought I was dead, and came to check. Eventually the ambulances come (this happened out of town so it took a while.) They cut off my coat and sweatshirt, leaving me in a tank top. They put in an IV in my arm, but it froze right away. They told me they couldn't take me to the local hospital, and that I was being helicoptered. So here I was, in a tank top in 0 degrees, waiting for a helicopter. Still in shock, I didn't understand why I was being helicoptered. Two hours after I left for work, I was finally on my way to the hospital, completely terrified.

At the hospital, they diagnosed me with hypothermia. They cut the rest of my clothes off, put me in a gown, and put me in a big bubble like heater blanket. After I was warmed up, they took x rays, an MRI, and a cat scan. They never told my parents the results of the MRI or cat scan, but they did tell me I broke my left pubic bone and my left elbow. I needed stitches on the cut on my head. It was on the side of my face actually, right by my eyebrow, about two inches long. However it was a very weird cut, A curvy one. I also had a bad cut on my arm, my hip, and on my leg.

I spent 2 days in the ICU and 1 day in pediatrics. I mostly slept, always tired and in so much pain. I couldn't keep the pain pills down. I spent the following days counting the new bruises that kept appearing. I had 14 on one leg, 12 on the other. 8 on each arm, and several on my sides, stomach and back. I was out of school for two weeks. Would've been longer but winter break started. For those two weeks, I couldn't do anything on my own. I couldn't even sit up on my own. I felt so helpless, and I was always so tired. I had nerve damage on my right side of my head. I couldn't feel it or move my left eyebrow for two months.

Eventually, I wasn't in pain anymore. Although, I still find myself having pain in my elbow and left arm. The hospital I was at was a big hospital, and didn't do a good job answering my parents questions. To this day, we still don't know if I had a concussion or not. We do believe I did. My boyfriend noticed, and I have noticed too, that my memory is worse now. I can't remember some big events that have happened recently, when we watch movies, I find myself not remembering what happened in the movie weeks later.

When I finally started driving again, about 3 months after, I was scared. But now its worse. I find its all I think about when I'm driving. My accident, or how I could get in one that the very moment. I find myself holding my breath in intersections and when other cars are driving by me. I hate being the passenger, I'm always bracing and holding my breath and just completely terrified.

If someone else was with me in my car, they would have been dead. My seat was the only part of my car not crushed. My airbag didn't go off. Which they said, if it did, I would have died. I'm very short so I sit close to the steering wheel. I don't believe in guardian angels, but everyone always tells me I had one watching over me.

I feel like nobody understands me now. They think its like a switch and I can turn the fear off and on. I can't control it. Now that I know how easily I can lose my life, I'm leaving in fear. I know its no way to live, but I can't help it. I can't even drive in the rain anymore, I find myself starting to cry if it rains too hard. Reminds me too much of snow. Living in the midwest, I have no idea what I'm going to do when it snows.

The accident wasn't charged as my fault or the other guys fault. The deputy reported it as the weathers fault. I still feel so guilty and feel like I could have prevented it from happening, done something different so I wouldn't have lost control. Maybe if I wasn't speeding.

I'm so happy I found this page, so happy people understand me. It has changed my whole outlook on life. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I believe that about my accident. I wouldn't take it back if I could. It's weird, but in a way I'm glad it happened. Made me realize so many things.

I'm sorry this was so long, I've just haven't been able to tell my story to anyone. I'm just so happy to be alive, and to be healthy. And I'm happy other people understand how I feel and what I'm going through.
 
Hi Kay and welcome to the forum. (((HUGS))) if you accept them.

I relate to so much of your post.
If someone else was with me in my car, they would have been dead. My seat was the only part of my car not crushed. My airbag didn't go off. Which they said, if it did, I would have died. I'm very short so I sit close to the steering wheel. I don't believe in guardian angels, but everyone always tells me I had one watching over me.
Yep, I was told if I had been taller (I'm 5ft 1) I would have died.
When I finally started driving again, about 3 months after, I was scared. But now its worse. I find its all I think about when I'm driving. My accident, or how I could get in one that the very moment. I find myself holding my breath in intersections and when other cars are driving by me. I hate being the passenger, I'm always bracing and holding my breath and just completely terrified.
Yep, again I was the same. I was back driving after 3 months. I was still in a lot of pain as I'd broken my neck. I just wanted my life to go back to normal. Anyway after driving for 4 months I couldn't carry on. I became a virtual recluse.

I would strongly advise that if you aren't in therapy, to find a therapist fast. I was lucky, mine was brilliant. He taught me grounding tools to help focus and small goals. He did EMDR therapy with me and although it was one of the toughest things I have ever done, for me it worked. This forum was a godsend. The advice, friendship, understanding and support is amazing.

I still have 'wobbles' and know I probably always will but 4 years on, I am driving with confidence and have my life back. My hubby has his wife again and my girls their Mum.
 
I know these posts are old but I hope to at least share
my story because these have helped me as other people have been in the same situation and have been successful in moving on.

On August 29th, 2014 I went with my boyfriend down to Columbia to get a new seatbelt for his mustang that no longer had a passenger's side seatbelt for me to use. About 10 minutes away from our destination, he missed a stop sign and was hit on the drivers side and was killed instantly. When I woke up after the collision, we were still holding hands and the car was in flames. Somehow I managed to get myself out of the car and away from it before it exploded, and was dragged into an ambulance. I survived the accident without breaking a bone, no concussion, absolutely nothing but a few stitches below my left knee and burns on my right leg.

Now I have so much guilt riding on my shoulders. Maybe it wouldn't have happened if I had gotten out of band practice quicker, or later, or maybe if I had told him to drive more carefully as he liked to try to scare me while the roads were completely empty, maybe if he hadn't been holding my hand he would've been able to change gears and slow down; they just have all piled up and it's consuming me. I shouldn't have survived that, I didn't even have a seatbelt. We were both 17, I'm about to turn 18, and we started dating when we were 14 and 15. I loved him and we had plans for after highschool, it's crazy how much it's all changed. does anybody have any advice to help since the accident is so recent?
 
Hi, @Katiegom , and welcome to the forum. I moved this thread out of Discussion and into our section dedicated to specific traumas.

I'm sorry to read about your accident. I can't even imagine how devastating it must be. Are you currently in therapy?
 
I haven't started therapy yet, but I know we're looking at getting me into that. I also haven't had very great experience in therapy before, so I'm kind of reluctant to start but I know I should.
 
There are lots of threads on the forum about how to find the right kind of therapist for you...they sort of boil down to, it's OK to do some interviews, basically. Talk with them about the work they do. See if you feel comfortable with them. Not everyone clicks with every kind of therapy; the more you allow yourself to learn about what your options are, styles of therapy, examples of bad therapy, good therapy...the more you'll be able to participate in your own treatment.
 
[maybe I should start a separate thread, but just kind of curious... you said you're an EMT/firefighter. I had an accident with fatalities, body parts, watched the man we hit (I was a passenger) die, etc, and ultimately became an RN. I never had plans to be an RN prior. I always kind of wondered if subconsciously I've had this strong drive since the accident to never be at a loss for what to do (not that I could have done anything really), that next time I wanted to be prepared, that kind of thinking. Just wondering how much of an impact you think your accident had on you becoming a firefighter.
Sorry, I don't want to hijack this thread, it's my first thread to read on any accident and I appreciate it greatly thank you so much, just wondering since you mentioned specifically accident victim turned emergency responder. thank you!
 
i am so glad I found this thread. Sorry I'm replying to such an old thread and I never even usually write things on Internet threads but I had to post to this one. I was in a car wreck a month ago with 4 of my college friends. One being me best girl friend and the 3 others some of my most loved guy friends. We were in the town my guy friends were from driving on the highway in the center lane when a large bucket truck cut us off leaving our car disabled in the middle of the highway. And that is the last thing from our wreck I remember but from what I'm told it turned into a several vehicle accident even involving a large tractor trailer truck.

The first thing I start to remember is being outside of the car near the front passenger side where I was sitting. Trying to open the door but it wouldn't open. It's such a weird feeling now I remember being so confused and not knowing what happened. I realize somehow I got thrown out of the car. I was wearing black leggings that were now ripped to shreds from being dragged on the road. One of my shoes is off and my ankle is bleeding badly and both ankles are in a large amount of pain. Someone comes to me and tells me to lay down.

As I'm waiting on the side of the road for the ambulance in sitting with one of my guy friends who seems to be alert and okay for the situation at hand at least. I watch emts get my best friend out of the back seat and I panic as I see them trying to put a tube down her throat but this is only the beginning because a few minutes later I find my other friend in the back seat that I am looking at is dead.

I'm taken to the hospital and luckily I have the least injuries of anyone. Here now even a month later though I cannot remember the wreck and it really confuses me.

That's the part I seem to have a lot of problems with. I also have major anxiety about being in a car no matter who the driver is since our wreck(s) was caused by another driver. I can look at other cars on the road and literally visualize bad things happening. All around me I can see car wrecks just waiting to happen. It's the scariest thing I've ever experienced. I am always telling my driver slow down, oh my god they're going to hit you, don't pull out yet, etc.

I don't know when this will ever get better but I'm glad to see other people experience some of the same things.
 
I survived a fatal car accident 31 years ago, I was a passenger in a car along with my teenage boyfriend (driver) and two of his best friends, we were all 17 years old,

The accident was the worst case scenario cause it was in the middle of the night, in the countryside and not a car or a house in sight.

I had to wait until someone drove by us and in the meantime, I was exposed to all the horror around feeling so helpless.

When the car rolled over all of them got thrown out the window, but not me, not one scar on my body.

One was dead for sure because he was half under the car, his upper half was and this was a big car and I knew instantly that he had been crushed to death but I wasn´t sure which one of the boys it was and I thought it was my boyfriend, during this time I was operating in some auto remote , like a robot, no feelings, no fears or panic or anything, I even went under the car to find out who it was but when I was doing that I found glasses that I knew belonged to one of his friends.

I started looking for my boyfriend cause I didn´t see him and in a good distance from the car I walked by a pool of blood and a bit further was my boyfriend all covered in blood and unconscious, I thought he was dead or dying.

I found the other one on the other side of the road also covered in blood and unconscious.

No one knows how long it was until a bus arrived that could call for help,

I instantly broke down when it arrives.

My boyfriend and the other friend had life threatening injuries and both in a coma on a ventilator for some time. As I mentioned then I didn´t even get one scratch and was completely unhurt on my body and back then no one knew about the effects an incident like this can have so now I understand what the police officer meant when he told me that I had scars, invisible once.

I have been dealing with PTSD ever since, also my story has another fatal accident happening at the age of 11 when my father and other five men drowned at sea his body was never found.

Now I am in the middle of a EMDR therapy not sure it´s working



PS

Excuse my grammar, English is not my native language
 
I know these posts are old but I hope to at least share
my story because these have helped me as other...

Most car accidents are totally about awful timing. A few seconds earlier or later and it doesn't happen the same way or at all. You can't fret over that kind of thinking or you could think of your entire life as a constant stream of moments where you avoided an accident. That time you arrived safe to a friend's? Maybe if you hadn't forgotten your keys and had to go back inside for them, you would have had an accident. It's crazy the amount of what ifs and buts that you can think of, that it's not worth thinking about any of them. It happened and all you can do it work through it.

I have plenty of scars and recollections of being in a coma, of my fiancée screaming, of me being airlifted to a trauma center. And we were in the back seat. Others weren't so lucky. I can sit here and feel bad for them (and I do), but if that's all I think about, my life wouldn't be worth living. The only option is to carry on and try to live a life that honors how lucky I am to make it out of there alive.
 
In Dec 08 I was a passenger in a friend's car. I was 18. I cant remember exactly, but I think it wa...
Wow you are a survivor ... I just recently had a really bad accident it could of been worse but shattered my whole forearm my car flipped 4x very scary I had an angel with me that night... My friends hand was barely hanging on to her wrist it's reassuring to know that we are not in this alone only very few will really ever understand that persona has been altered forever
 
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