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Fear of rejection

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perstam

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My counselor claims that fear of rejection is a major part of CPTSD. I'm not so sure.

Fear of rejection typically relates to romantic relationships. I am not in a romantic relationship, but I have a very hard time dealing with clerks, bureaucrats, politicians, and call center people who behave like narcissists.

What do you think? Is fear of rejection a basic part of CPTSD?
 
My counselor claims that fear of rejection is a major part of CPTSD. I'm not so sure.

Fear of rejectio...

This is something that I recently talked about with my therapist. She asked if I was afraid of her leaving, but I’m not. She’s great and all but I also know I could replace her if I had to. My fear is when people stay because that is more confusing to me. If I can’t push someone away then I don’t know how to protect myself. So I suppose it’s the total opposite but still along the same vein IMO.

Also I don’t think it necessarily has to be a romantic relationship. People will often act out to keep others from leaving (even those without CPTSD). It’s Just a way to feel like you can exert a little bit of control over the situation.
 
Fear of rejection is not just a romantic relationship thing.

I fear every possible kind of rejection.

(Just look at my life and you'd see this!)
 
For me? The fear of being rejected is one of the ways my shame plays out. My shame is a much bigger, more deep-seated issue.

The rejection part can apply to absolutely anyone. Even people I don’t particularly want in my life? I still worry they won’t find me ‘acceptable’.

And that (for me) is because even if they don’t know who I really am? I know. I know I’m this terrible monster of a person. Once they see that, if I give them a chance to see that? They’ll hate me, and reject me.

So I isolate. And with people that I reeeally respect? I get in first, push them out of my life, and prevent them from even getting a chance to reject me.

I think fear of rejection can play out in a number of different ways. Sometimes the rejection itself is the core of the issue. But oftentimes, I think it’s coming from something much more central to our damaged self-concept. Like shame.

And a damagedself-concept? Yup. That’s central to ptsd for a lot of folks (part of the complex ptsd definition I think?).
 
Fear of rejection typically relates to romantic relationships.
I don’t think I agree. I go through the world assuming the worst, usually - I fear rejection/judgement/ ‘doing it wrong’/etc from most people most of the time, if I don’t work to shift my mind away from it.

So, I understand where you’re coming from.

I’m not sure I’d fit a CPTSD diagnosis. I do have PTSD. I can trace my fear of rejection back to a handful of different events, but it really got cemented (I think) after the trauma event happened.
 
What do you think? Is fear of rejection a basic part of CPTSD?

From what I remember, it's not listed in the criteria I've read, so from what I understand, I'd say, no. (Anyone have the proposed final on hand? Every time I try to pull it up my browser crashes.)

HOWEVER, it very nearly slots into the criteria. Just like how other criterion tend to include a broad range of symptoms. Including 2 symptoms that are the exact opposite of each other. So two people may present 180 degrees different from each other. Like the fight/flight response are very opposite of each other, and yet, the same thing. As well as not everyone experiences every symptom, nor for those that do share symptoms, does everyone experience them to the same degree.

Squares and rectangles.

Meaning not everyone with cPTSD will have a fundamental fear of rejection; but many people with cPTSD will have a fundamental fear of rejection.
 
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