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Feel Like I Am Going To Fail

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FauxLiz

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I finally think I have narrowed down with the help of my therapist the best location in the area to try inpatient trauma therapy I spoke to the Nurse Manager for the unit as I was concerned about co-morbid conditions that I have including daily intractable migraines and this location has both an unlocked wing for patients they do not believe will run off, are there voluntarily, they do not believe are a danger to themselves or others and has a world renowned headache specialty clinic onsite that she stated they have worked with on consults before.

However, you have to go through an assessment process before they will accept you as a patient and now I am terrified that after all the fear, hard work decision making etc to get to this point I will fail the assessment and they will either say I am not a candidate for inpatient or not for their facility.
 
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Well, you can be honest and even assess yourself before hand to see if you are a fit (can you be trusted to stay and to be safe?).

Also, you can make a back up plan if they say no: me, I'd instantly call a friend and get reassurance that I will find other, effective way to recover.

Realize that a lot of time a "no" comes for other reasons, even when a person is a good candidate; sometimes the unit is full, or the balance of men to women, or the balance of ages, or of mental health conditions, is off. In any of those cases, you may be a cacsidate in the future. And of course, insurance or the ability to pay, is a biggy.

Trust that you are good enough, and that a door will open for you.:hug:
 
I finally think I have narrowed down with the help of my therapist the best location in the area to try...
I'm not sure I understand... Are you worried it's voluntary and open or is that part of what's scaring you?

The assessments are,to make sure this can help and not possibly harm you. It won't be a failure if it doesn't work out. They should give you feedback about why the decision was made.
If it's not a match maybe it's timing.
 
Even if the answer is no for whatever reason, they may know of a better option for you at this time. Anyone would be concerned in your shoes! Congrats on your bravery for seeking help!
 
I've signed up for a 3 week inpatient trauma course starting in mid-June, and given the amount of personal oomph it's taken for me to talk myself into that, I totally get how devastating it would be if I now got word from the hospital that actually, "we've taken a closer look at your file and we don't think this program is right for you..."

Aaargh! Fail! Failure alert! I'm a great big failure. Totally beyond help - just had that confirmed. Too much of a freak. Put myself out there and just got a great big fat rejection AGAIN!:cry::sorry::hungover::alien:

Okay, had my little freak out, time for my Reality pill. It is not a fail. I am not beyond help. That is NOT what they're saying. "This program isn't right for me". That's it. If they end up telling me that this program isn't right for me, what they really mean is: this program isn't right for me.

They can make me an involuntary patient - but I've got my sh!t together (reasonably anyway) and they've given me a discharge date and they have no interest (and possibly no beds) to keep me beyond that date so...

It's gonna be okay. Probably they aren't going to knock me back. Even more unlikely they're gonna make me involuntary if I keep my shit together. And worst case scenario, they tell me this program isn't right for me so, okay, good to know before I waste 3 weeks in hospital and off I go looking for an alternative that does fit me elsewhere.

Reality pill - sweet!

Got your back! You're gonna be okay:)
 
It is is only the tiniest consolation, but can I tell you how much I envy you having inpatient trauma programmes at all, let alone a choice? Nothing that exists here, and I need it.

It doesn't sound as though you are a bad fit for the programme you have identified, in fact it sounds tailor made for you. It also sounds from this and your previous thread as though you have thought and worked, carefully and sensibly to this conclusion. I would expect them to be glad to be able to work with you if you put as much effort into healing as you have into this.
 
Thank you all for the support. I guess I am just so scared that they will say hey you had the ability to put everything together to get to the point of making this decision. Putting the proper pieces in place for your child etc so obviously you are functioning just fine and not a candidate for inpatient outpatient will work just as well thank you for your interest good bye.
 
Well my t and I talked about my fear and how I could play the what if game for ever or I could call and get answers.

I called and got answers but not before triggering a panic attack and self harm issues. The person on the phone was very nice but very pushy, kept wanting to know if I was going to present to the ER for assessment in the next 24-72 hours, what was my name, was there a number they could reach me at, and why didn't I want to give them that info. I am trying to to do right thing here, I know I am not in good shape, when I go to work these days I don't turn on my office light hoping people will forget I am there and leave me alone. I did the dishes today at home because we were out of clean silverware, and to be honest the kitchen was starting to stink.

I don't want to go to work on Monday because I have been struggling with things so bad that I am afraid I am going to get fired and the only part of me that cares is that part that knows if I lose my job we will have to move in with my dad 1200 miles away and I might as well just stop existing right then.

I know I need the more intense help but I also feel like so many other times in my life frozen unable to move in any direction voluntarily praying that a positive force will come along but expecting that the reality is that what will actually make my decision for me is the sound of the other shoe dropping and once again crushing every effort I have made to dig my way out of the hell that is my past.
 
The person on the phone was very nice but very pushy, kept wanting to know if I was going to present to the ER for assessment in the next 24-72 hours, what was my name, was there a number they could reach me at, and why didn't I want to give them that info.
I'm sorry that this was an intense experience for you. Making these phone calls is never easy.

Can you do the assessment call with your therapist in the room?

I'm assuming you need to present to the ER because you need a referral to the clinic; a doc has to write the order, or your insurance won't participate.

If you have a prescribing psychiatrist, you can ask if they can help you navigate this; if you have a somewhat decent relationship with your GP, you could also ask them. But if you need to go the ER route, you would probably find it significantly easier if you had someone who could go with you and serve as an advocate - that only means that they can do most of the talking, and represent what you are there for. They can and should have a conversation with the clinic intake line as well, so they understand the process. It's mostly just that - a process - and the more you think of it just as a series of steps, the better.

If your psych (if you have one) or your GP have admitting privileges to the psych department at whatever hospital you would be going to (the ER hospital), you can also investigate whether you can be admitted for an assessment, with the end goal getting a referral for the trauma center.

You will have to give them your contact info in advance, there's no way around that, unless they do on-site intake (which it sounds like they don't). There is definitely an element of trust - you need to trust that if you relay your symptoms and your situation honestly, they will respond in kind, and the right thing will happen.

Do you have a formal diagnosis? That would be the only other possible hang-up.
 
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