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Relationship Feeling Bad About Needing Time For Myself

  • Thread starter Deleted member 29874
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Deleted member 29874

Hi!

I'm new to this forum and English is not my first language, so please be gentle with me. :unsure:

I share a flat with my sufferer, who is also my boyfriend, for nearly seven years now. A few months ago we found out that it's actually PTSD he is suffering from. I'm doing everything I can to help him with that. I have a job and I study to become a teacher, I do all the chores, our finances (which includes his welfare), try to find a therapist for him. I also talk a whole lot with him about his condition. Well actually I do a lot of listening while he talks about his PTSD.

And the last bit is starting to become a problem. There are a lot of days when I come home from work or university and the rest of the day seems to be all about him and his PTSD. I find it very hard to carve out time for myself and things that relax me.

I love him and I wanna help him and be there for him. Often I experience feelings of guilt and selfishness, simply because I just want a few hours alone.

How do you cope with that?
 
Sometimes you do need to have some time for yourself @SwampThing, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. If anybody should understand the need for some space, it should be a PTSD sufferer... In fact I think my sufferer enjoys my "me time" as much as I do at times. Me getting space = him having some space too.

Although when he isn't feeling well and is antsy about being alone, it doesn't work out so well. That's when I go and take a long bath. I'll leave the door unlocked so he can poke his head in there to check on me, but 99% of the time I get my solitude.
 
Dear @SwampThing there is one constant in the life of a supportive carer for anyone with PTSD, that one constant is as already stated. You have to remember that there are 2 people involved in this relationship and your sufferer has to take responsibility for their own life and actions. You have to take time for you and you must be selfish in that. Look after you as well as him, take time for you and tell him why. If he takes control of the rest of your time then you will very quickly burn yourself out looking after him.

Please take care and take time to enjoy life.

Sending a :hug: from the UK

Laurie
 
Thank you! I'll try and work on that.

It seems that sometimes one needs someone to point out the obvious.
 
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