RecedingMoonlight
Confident
Hey supporters, hoping for input. Ever since January of this year, I've just felt completely emotionally burnt out. I don't recall where it even started, but I've just been completely unable to be there emotionally for my sufferer. Her emotions were just explosive and self-destructive and as bad as it sounds, I just continuously kept getting overwhelmed and terrified, and one day I just shut down and asserted my boundaries, telling my sufferer that I refused to skype call her until I felt stable. (She's my best friend long-distance, we talk through skype and phone most of the time.) This took a while for her to adjust and she's not handling it very well since she's more of a sensual person, feeling comforted by sound and other senses that ground her, rather than written words. Yeah, this...causes a few issues.
But I thought after a month or two I'd just get back to normal and be able to get into voice calls without feeling completely cornered, scared or burntout. It's now mid-April.
Yeah, I'm basically at a loss here. Is this normal? Have other supporters just completely shut down before from being exposed to way too much stress and expectations? I really hate feeling this way because I feel like my sufferer deserves better, but I have to put my self-care first. Not sure if I'm venting or asking for advice. Guess I'm just sick and tired of BEING sick and tired. I dunno if it's because my sufferer kept begging and latching onto me and just in general acting in a seemingly co-dependant way for a while that just got me to shut off or what. Whatever it is, it's now frustrating because she's gotten waaay better since January and my brain is still just like..."Error404, emotions not found."
Man, this sucks.
But I thought after a month or two I'd just get back to normal and be able to get into voice calls without feeling completely cornered, scared or burntout. It's now mid-April.
Yeah, I'm basically at a loss here. Is this normal? Have other supporters just completely shut down before from being exposed to way too much stress and expectations? I really hate feeling this way because I feel like my sufferer deserves better, but I have to put my self-care first. Not sure if I'm venting or asking for advice. Guess I'm just sick and tired of BEING sick and tired. I dunno if it's because my sufferer kept begging and latching onto me and just in general acting in a seemingly co-dependant way for a while that just got me to shut off or what. Whatever it is, it's now frustrating because she's gotten waaay better since January and my brain is still just like..."Error404, emotions not found."
Man, this sucks.