Beyondblue
New Here
Hi everyone!
I’m a 23 year old female who was diagnosed with PTSD a little over 2 years ago. I’m really confused about my diagnosis though.
It stems from a sexual assault. I️ was sexually assaulted by a guy in my church. It was traumatic for me and I️ did feel helpless during the event because he physically held me down. Anyways, I️ went to my pastor with this and he said that “There’s no telling what a guy will do another with a naked girl”. And he just had a very male dominated way of thinking.
It was a very conservative church and I️ felt like my pastor took the side of the guy’s family because they are a very prominent family in the church. I️ grew up in that church my entire life, and it was my whole world. (Now I realize this was a very unhealthy thing). My trust was very strong in my pastor so I️ was devastated when I️ didn’t feel like he handled the situation with care. I️ felt that I️ lost a part of who I️ was. He encouraged me to keep it on the down low and to not talk to a lot of people about it, so I️ didn’t. This made me feel very isolated and alone. I️ was encouraged that I️ just needed to get over the hurt and continue to come to church. So I️ did. It was extremely hard at the beginning.
I️ would have panic attacks before going into the church and instead of feeling safe, it just felt scary. I️ had nightmares about the guy who did it to me and experienced a lot of hyperviligance. I️ finally went to see a professional and they diagnosed me with PTSD. But I’m not sure if my ptsd stemmed from the sexual assault or the treatment of my pastor.
Every since that event, I️ have always felt like I️ had this cloud of depression hanging over me. I️ want to go back to who I️ was before it, but it seems that I️ can’t.
I️ just left That church two months ago but I’m going to church in a different town, but same organization. I’ve noticed recently that when people there have a clap that reminds me of my previous pastor that I️ feel very anxious. In fact, it makes me feel like crying and want to run away. Even though it’s a different church. If anyone has certain mannerisms of my old pastor, my body will physically react to it.
My question is this. Does this sound like ptsd? Could I️ have it from both the sexual assault and the treatment by the church?
Thank you.
I’m a 23 year old female who was diagnosed with PTSD a little over 2 years ago. I’m really confused about my diagnosis though.
It stems from a sexual assault. I️ was sexually assaulted by a guy in my church. It was traumatic for me and I️ did feel helpless during the event because he physically held me down. Anyways, I️ went to my pastor with this and he said that “There’s no telling what a guy will do another with a naked girl”. And he just had a very male dominated way of thinking.
It was a very conservative church and I️ felt like my pastor took the side of the guy’s family because they are a very prominent family in the church. I️ grew up in that church my entire life, and it was my whole world. (Now I realize this was a very unhealthy thing). My trust was very strong in my pastor so I️ was devastated when I️ didn’t feel like he handled the situation with care. I️ felt that I️ lost a part of who I️ was. He encouraged me to keep it on the down low and to not talk to a lot of people about it, so I️ didn’t. This made me feel very isolated and alone. I️ was encouraged that I️ just needed to get over the hurt and continue to come to church. So I️ did. It was extremely hard at the beginning.
I️ would have panic attacks before going into the church and instead of feeling safe, it just felt scary. I️ had nightmares about the guy who did it to me and experienced a lot of hyperviligance. I️ finally went to see a professional and they diagnosed me with PTSD. But I’m not sure if my ptsd stemmed from the sexual assault or the treatment of my pastor.
Every since that event, I️ have always felt like I️ had this cloud of depression hanging over me. I️ want to go back to who I️ was before it, but it seems that I️ can’t.
I️ just left That church two months ago but I’m going to church in a different town, but same organization. I’ve noticed recently that when people there have a clap that reminds me of my previous pastor that I️ feel very anxious. In fact, it makes me feel like crying and want to run away. Even though it’s a different church. If anyone has certain mannerisms of my old pastor, my body will physically react to it.
My question is this. Does this sound like ptsd? Could I️ have it from both the sexual assault and the treatment by the church?
Thank you.