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Feeling Depressed - PTSD Has It's Down Times

Discussion in 'Depression & Suicidality' started by rabcam, Sep 6, 2006.

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  1. rabcam

    rabcam New Member

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    Hi,
    I have been feeling depressed lately. I have been having flashbacks from high school days which was almost 30 years ago. Although I have always felt the depression and ptsd from those years of ridiculing, I am starting to feel it more the last several months. I have epilepsy and last fall was prescribed a seizure helmet to wear because of my drop seizures. I wear it, but have written on it what it was for ever since some guy made a remark about me waiting for it to rain golf balls. I don't have very high self-esteem anyways, from those years and other years where I was sexually and verbally abused. I start reliving the years though today of being ridiculed when I see people stare or whisper to someone while they are looking at me. I know it's unrealistic thinking that way, but it looks so obious that they are talking about me. I'm getting to the point where when I do wear it, I try not to look at people than I don't know if they are laughing at me or staring at me. But, then I feel mean when I ignore people. I'm getting to the point where I would just like to quit wearing it. It might help the seizures, but the feelings I get because I wear it bother me more than the fact that I could split my head open again. I know to most that sounds stupid to let something like that bother you more than physical pain, but emotional pain kills my spirit.
    Does anyone else ever feel this or something like this
     
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  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Hi rabcam!

    Nice to meet you.

    We ALL struggle with depression at one point or another. With epilepsy it's even worse. I have a few questions for you...

    Have you had a Catscan, MRI, EEG, Sleep deprivation EEG or the like to PROVE that you have Epilepsy?

    Reason why I ask, is that I was diagnosed with the same thing when I was 18. No amount of medication would control it. I would just wake up on the floor. My seizures (or so they said they were) stopped in 2001 after a year off of meds. (I don't recommend that you just stop your meds, I'm just asking here) I don't believe I ever had epilepsy, I think the strain my body was under from my PTSD was making my body faint. I wasn't eating properly, sleeping properly, living properly, I was a mess. So, how did they come about this diagnosis??

    I would suggest you put your helmet back on. Don't crack your head open, that is not going to help anything here. What medications are you on? What are the side effects?

    Also, how are you dealing with your PTSD? Do you have a support system? Are you in therapy?

    Plus, what is positive in your life? What is working, what are your talents, what do you enjoy, what are you good at? Are you maintaining these things?

    Bec
     
  4. reallydown

    reallydown I'm a VIP

    Rabcam,

    I can't even imagine what it's like with epilepsy but I sure do get depressed...and yes, it often feels like physical pain is preferable to the emotional crap...
     
  5. Farmer

    Farmer Active Member

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    hi Rabcam

    I to have epilepsy, it first started showing up when I was Quite young. At first it was just pitit mals but later grand mals in my sleep and a few when I was awake. The thing with mine was I would have 3 or 4 in a row so they tell me. I seem to have control of them for now by changing my lifestile and try live healthier. I'm posative now the stress from PTSD was waring me down and bringing them on. As for the helmet if you are having them that often it's probably a good idea(better than waking up with a concucion or something) maybe look into a cool bike helmet or the like. Jesse James of West coast Choppers wears one of those chrome Bmx helmits when he rides and he's about as cool as they get. What ever you do do'nt stop your ep meds without talking to your Doc first, that can be a big problem with the big E.
    Anyhow nice to meet you:smile:
     
  6. kimG

    kimG Well-Known Member

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    Hey Rabcam! Sorry to hear you have epilepsy combined with PTSD.

    As for the helmet, perhaps you should write on it something like, "What the hell are you looking at??"

    When people stare at you, all you'd have to say is, "Can't you read?"

    Of course, you could just go with the standard yet effective, "What are you staring at?" People will stop once they realize you KNOW they are staring at you!

    I also like Farmer's idea of a shiny chrome one...put a skull on it too...:loopy:
     
  7. scarlette_crimson

    scarlette_crimson Active Member

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    rabcam Hi

    sometimes peop think that i am having seizurs but it's really from the ptsd.Do you happen to know if your panic response gets worse when your out in the sun.I know mine is I blink uncontrollably.But if I wear a Hat and sunglasses.And if some one gives me astare then I just give them a harsh look like go to hel becuse I don't give a damb what you think.And then I shrug my shoulder that usually dose the trick:hello: Hey you know there really has to be a better solutionto protecting your head.Maybe a hat that camoflages the protection:think: invent one:loopy:
     
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