Good Morning,
I have been faced feeling low since last weekend to today because of the anniversary month is coming very soon. I noticed that I have struggle with flashbacks, leading me feeling depressed, shame, guilt, confusion, anger, and asking self-questions about this.
The flashbacks are annoying and it kept on flash in my mind.
The month of May is the worst trauma for me due to being in hospital due to suicidal attempt due to re-living experience with someone who did not understand me. I prefer not to detail why, how, what happened here because it is too complicated, sensitive for me to think about.
Well, May 2014 - it will be one year. One year anniversaries does bother me the most then it fade afterwards - the trauma happened last year - May 2013.
I felt withdrawal, avoiding, and not in good mood. I also feel that I don't want to be bothered or being touched. Someone who I am getting know (The same person - The person finally understood where I come from and research about PTSD) is aware of this and felt helpless - wanting to be there for me. I admit that I do push this person away lot of time due to these flashbacks but the person has been being patience with me.
Some people asked me if I'm alright - I simply said yes, I'm fine just being tired which is the truth. It is because I don't sleep well even I'm on prazsoin - I can tell the difference if I had a bad dream or not based on how I feel when I get up. Yes, I take Cymbalta on low dosage; it does help, however, what I have experience is way too strong to handle.
I simply don't want to open up about what bothering me and I know if I share, they probably would not understand because I tried that before. Yes, my supervisor is aware of this because I shared it with my supervisor so my supervisor would be aware of what is happening with me.
I will see my shrink next week and express what I have experience. I'll see my therapist next week as well.
I had the similar trauma in February 2009 and I feel like I'm reliving it again.
I'm wondering if you have similar experience I have went through? If so, how do you handle it?
I admit that I do wish that I have friends that has suffers of PTSD and able to support, someone to talk with. The person can be one as well and I know it is not the same because the person doesn't have PTSD. It's very hard for me to open up, the person does know that. Again, the person has been patience with me and know I will open up one day.
Sorry if this is a long thread - I just need to type and get it out of my chest.
If you feel that comment should be in private, feel free to inbox me. Otherwise, feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you for your time read this thread.
I have been faced feeling low since last weekend to today because of the anniversary month is coming very soon. I noticed that I have struggle with flashbacks, leading me feeling depressed, shame, guilt, confusion, anger, and asking self-questions about this.
The flashbacks are annoying and it kept on flash in my mind.
The month of May is the worst trauma for me due to being in hospital due to suicidal attempt due to re-living experience with someone who did not understand me. I prefer not to detail why, how, what happened here because it is too complicated, sensitive for me to think about.
Well, May 2014 - it will be one year. One year anniversaries does bother me the most then it fade afterwards - the trauma happened last year - May 2013.
I felt withdrawal, avoiding, and not in good mood. I also feel that I don't want to be bothered or being touched. Someone who I am getting know (The same person - The person finally understood where I come from and research about PTSD) is aware of this and felt helpless - wanting to be there for me. I admit that I do push this person away lot of time due to these flashbacks but the person has been being patience with me.
Some people asked me if I'm alright - I simply said yes, I'm fine just being tired which is the truth. It is because I don't sleep well even I'm on prazsoin - I can tell the difference if I had a bad dream or not based on how I feel when I get up. Yes, I take Cymbalta on low dosage; it does help, however, what I have experience is way too strong to handle.
I simply don't want to open up about what bothering me and I know if I share, they probably would not understand because I tried that before. Yes, my supervisor is aware of this because I shared it with my supervisor so my supervisor would be aware of what is happening with me.
I will see my shrink next week and express what I have experience. I'll see my therapist next week as well.
I had the similar trauma in February 2009 and I feel like I'm reliving it again.
I'm wondering if you have similar experience I have went through? If so, how do you handle it?
I admit that I do wish that I have friends that has suffers of PTSD and able to support, someone to talk with. The person can be one as well and I know it is not the same because the person doesn't have PTSD. It's very hard for me to open up, the person does know that. Again, the person has been patience with me and know I will open up one day.
Sorry if this is a long thread - I just need to type and get it out of my chest.
If you feel that comment should be in private, feel free to inbox me. Otherwise, feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you for your time read this thread.