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Sufferer Finally My Storey

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Jaz09

New Here
So today after a while I have decided to share my story on here and the main reason I Have ptsd. Only through having EMDR am I able to remember what Happened and slowley reprocess it and be better for it

I was quite a sunny day, I was supposed to be grownded, I managed to pursude my mum to let me out after minuets of bugging.

My friend and I decided to go to the park, on route there we had to pass a square of houses on the estate. Slowley as we walked through I noticed some scruffy people on the door step that shouted my friend over so we went. We stood about 5 meters from the front door, all of a sudden we were both dragged into that house. We were separated straight away, put my friend in the door closest to front and dragged me to the back of the house. They put me In what seamed like the living room, there was a big bare window where I could see about 5 others looking in. All of a sudden I was trapped the guy that was in there with me had pulled the sofa up to the door so I couldn't escape. Next thing I new the guy grabbed me by the fringe and pulled a meat cleaver to my throat and said" If you don't stop crying I am a going to make a big bloody smile on your neck" I was absolouly terrified I WAS 13 YEARS OLD. The others I could see were at the window were laughing.

Next thing he hacked off my hair with a meat cleaver, my long beautiful blonde hair I felt degraded, next my clothes were sliced off. Leaving me naked at the mercy of these sick sick people. They try to force feed me dry weetabix and mouldy pizza with cigarett ash on it. Spit on the floor and rub my face in it. Next thing I know I feel pain across my back they are actually whipping me. I think I pass out at this point. The next thing I know they are dragging me up the stairs, their was no carpet on the stairs the tacs we scratching into me. They drag me into the bathroom and throw me into a bath hot filled with salt and bleach. The next torture I found myself in a shed at the back of the house which is filled of cola bottles. They were throwing knives at the door like darts threatening to kill me this went on for hours.

There was a lot of hassle I heard my dad screaming and trying to kick down the front door. My friend had espaped 30 min after we were dragged in. Went home had a bath and didn't tell anyone where I was for hours.... She was terrified. I had been in that house 6-8 hours.


It amazes me actually what I went through and the fact I survived. But now how c ptsd and fibromyalgia :-(
 
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I am so sorry for what you endured but you are right, you survived, are seeking help and that takes great strength . You are so incredibly brave.
 
Through all my struggles alcohol addiction and drugs, when I had my little boy I battled on through university and became a registered nurse. I don't think I'm brave I think I was just lucky
 
I can empathise totally with what you suffered @Jaz09 . I was 13 when I was pinned down and threatened with a Butchers Knife. That was the last time he raped me. You have come so far in therapy clearly from the way you post. I send genuine :hug:s from Devon and wish you every success in your own personal Journey of recovery.

Laurie
 
Thank you for the support, it has been great on here. I am only just beginning to see how far I have actually come. Life has always been challenging, I know I've had to fight a lot harder then most, however that makes me stronger and able to achieve what I want. I have a very high tollorence and coping mechanism. I wanted to share my story because like all of us, I wanted to be accepted and help others. I took a lot for me to share my story not because I didn't want to, but because I completly checked out and disassociated from it. I had a mental block for about 2 years of my life. I used to talk to people about it and it felt like I was telling someone else's story, not anymore it's there and is very vivid. I'm dealing with it, taking it day by day. Still to this day I belive I have achieved the things I have, I need to learn to love who I am and gain my own respect for myself.

Jaz x x
 
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