TheBestICan
New Here
I've tried researching my feelings online to get a hint of what's wrong with me. PSTD is the only thing that really hit home for me. It all makes so much sense now. I have not been diagnosed professionally but with a little common sense I think this is what I can identify myself with. So here's my story.
At 11 yrs old my father did something horrible that put my family in danger. I mean life threatening danger. Because of this I lost my father and basically disappeared from the face of this earth with a blink of an eye to anyone and everyone who knew us. I grew up pretty normal. Did things every other teenager did, didn't really have any emotional distress. Had great goals. But I got into a relationship young. I was in an abusive relationship (although he begs to differ) for about 10 years. During this time I went through so many emotional changes. But it is now that they are really, really disturbing my every day life. I am a sack of tears, anger, anxiety, frustration, irritable and unhappiness. But the weirdest thing is that I now fear the trauma that I went through at 11 years old more than I ever did. I have reaccurring dreams. I have a lot of anxiety. I feel as though something terrrible is going to happen to me and my family. My question is why is the fear more intense now?
At 11 yrs old my father did something horrible that put my family in danger. I mean life threatening danger. Because of this I lost my father and basically disappeared from the face of this earth with a blink of an eye to anyone and everyone who knew us. I grew up pretty normal. Did things every other teenager did, didn't really have any emotional distress. Had great goals. But I got into a relationship young. I was in an abusive relationship (although he begs to differ) for about 10 years. During this time I went through so many emotional changes. But it is now that they are really, really disturbing my every day life. I am a sack of tears, anger, anxiety, frustration, irritable and unhappiness. But the weirdest thing is that I now fear the trauma that I went through at 11 years old more than I ever did. I have reaccurring dreams. I have a lot of anxiety. I feel as though something terrrible is going to happen to me and my family. My question is why is the fear more intense now?