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Relationship First Post - Need Some Pepping Up I Think

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yehaft_au

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Hi everyone, Ive had an account here for a while but have never posted.

Just want to share a few things to more share and get it off my chest.

My boyfriend has Complex PTSD from an event(s) that happened when he was 3
It was a family member (not immediate) that is not in the picture anymore so thats one small mercy..
(he has not told his immediate family who this person is but has told them that something happened when he was small)
He suffers from small fits when it all gets too much and they are just so horrible to watch someone you love experience something like that.

- We went to a Comedy night last night and the content turned to Pedophilia he couldn't handle it (I couldn't really either) so we left early with him in tears ranting how he would love to hurt this person who did this to him etc
He then proceeded to get drunk and gamble - even though he doesn't really have much money but his reasoning was that it makes him feel better. He then won $200 and even though I insisted on him just taking the money out of the machine he just gambled that away too.

This is not the man I love and it upsets me seeing him like this, I know him and I are worth more than events like this but it can really get you down and have an effect on you.
We he is in this headspace he asks why im with such a F*(k up and I reassure him that he is not (because he isnt) and that I am here to support him as long as he shows he is actively trying to get help.

We are going to visit my family for a week and they have 2 small kids under 4, he mentioned the other day that even though he LOVES being around them they can sometimes trigger thoughts/memories about his past which upsets me.
Phew!! ok thats a rant I didnt think I would have on here but I needed to get it out!
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read it!
 
I can so relate to what your boyfriend is going through. I get like that sometimes when certain things trigger past memories. It can really have an impact on those who I am closet to.

Something that really helps me is the patience and reassurance of those who are trying to support me. I know its hard because I see the impact PTSD has on all those who are trying to support me. You sound like a very supportive woman who loves your boyfriend.
 
He's seen a psychologist and has been referred to a counsellor to look at options for him.
he didn't turn up at his first psycologists appt and was charged for it regardless. This knocked him around a little too. Another one was made and he went to that.

I think he thinks that the road ahead is going to be a slow and sometimes painful one to try and work through this and is very reluctant to give it a go as he's burried it so far down that to dig it all up again
 
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The therapy road is never as fast as we want it to be. Sometimes, it's also very painful. However, it reduces the harm caused by the various ways we run away from our pain. I cope with pain much better than I used to - it hurts, but the hurt doesn't drive me crazy like it used to.
 
Thanks everyone for your replies.

We are back from our time away visiting the family. He was great on the trip felt a little shaky every now again but he said he genuinely enjoyed his time away, in all seriousness I think it was all the go go and the constant noise from the kids (and the good reason why we were there -a birthday) kept him occupied.

He had a low day today hasnt slept properly in a few days and told me that he thinks hes a loser and that I am too good for him etc, things that hurt to read and/or write, I love him!

Hes gone to bed, so hopefully he does have a good rest as he always has a better outlook on everything after a good sleep - like everyone else does!!

He does need to see his counselor again I dont know when his next appointment is yet.

- well just looking at this post its another vent again!

sorry!!
 
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