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Flashbacks Are The Worst Trying To Fall Asleep

Discussion in 'Dissociation, Depersonalization & Derealization' started by JoannaDoe, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. JoannaDoe

    JoannaDoe Policy Enforcement Banned

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    I hate going to sleep. Its when the flashbacks hit hard, and I am in a half awake state with no defenses.....
    Any solutions?

    Its part of why I'm on disability. I hate the panic, and fear,and torment of 30 + years of abuse, and memories. f*ck its hard to breath when they hit. But, tonight no electrical nerve pain. Just rapid heart beat, and fear, and emotional pain.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2017
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  3. Keming

    Keming Pleasant pheasant peasant Premium Member

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    any joy w/ lucid dreaming techniques ?
     
  4. JoannaDoe

    JoannaDoe Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Yes. I've been meditating for 30 years, and into brain functioning through diffrent spiritual conections, and functions within spirituality, and psychology as well as hard imperial science. I just can't do much in the state of flashbacks that brutally painful. I've had a cold so it hit me on an emotional level due to the inability to control my body. I used to be able to control my breathing, and heart rate/blood pressure; part of which I thank my brother who is ten years older for torturing me as a kid by physically almost killing me repeatedly, and mixing it in with wwf sleeper holds to time how long I can stay awake from 4-5. And, part from doing yoga for 20 years.
    I just can't do it with a cold, and honestly kind of had to get traumatized, and go through supprise emersion therapy (geting all your memories back from blanks in your memories due to a surgery, and multiple medication interaction) I can't really do much during flashbacks now except put some substance in my body rather it be a cigarette (3 a day), or weed (hardly now a few nights a week), or a beer. And, sometimes all three. I'm sick so I haven't done anything.
    The memories are like new because I didn't remember them, seriously I had blak boxes in the attics of my brain. I have only lived through some of them once after it happened as far back as 34 years ago. I don't know. The cold, and being without any substances for two days left me vulnerable. Even a cigarette is fine, and I can be sober longer.
    The Theraflu, and all the cold flu medicine make me loopy. Sorry I'm blabering on. I do that sometimes. I smoked a cigarette, so maybe now I can sleep. I just hope I don't caugh myself awake.
     
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