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Flashbacks Result Iin Partner Getting Physically Abused

Discussion in 'Dissociation, Depersonalization & Derealization' started by Scott_Fraser, Jan 19, 2007.

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  1. Scott_Fraser

    Scott_Fraser Well-Known Member

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    Hello my friends. Nearly every night I wake up with flash backs and nightmares from my time in Bosnia. I wake up with my hands over my eyes. But one night, and I'm ashamed to say this, I was dreaming about Bosnia and I was lashing out, I didn't realise that it was Kim that I was hitting. She woke me up and I stopped. I feel so ashamed of what I did, but Kim said it was ok, as I wasn't really hitting her but the person in the dream. Does that make any sense? But I hit her all the same.
    I know that when I go back to Combat Stress at Hollybush House I'll be getting EMDR and that will probably make my nightmares worse, but at least I'll be in Hollybush and I won't harm anybody if I lash out in a dream.
    Any advice from you, my friends would be of great help for me.
    Thanks
    Scott:hello:
     
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  3. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Not sleep together for a while until further in to treatment would seem like the obvious solution. Save everyone heart ache the whole way around.
     
  4. Scott_Fraser

    Scott_Fraser Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Veiled, as usual you shoot from the hip.
    But like I said, this has never happened again, nor will it! I have never hit a woman in my life nor do I intend to start. That night was a one off and it was because of my flashbacks.
    And anyway, Veiled, we've only got 2 bedrooms, but we are moving to a bigger house later this year.
    Thanks for your concerns Lass, always appreciated.
    Cheers
    Scott:hello:
     
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Ahh, now if we could just snap our fingers and be in the reality of "now" instead of where a flashback takes us we would not be in this boat would we? Just food for thought. Only time in healing when our nightmares and flashbacks ease in frequency and intensity can we feel safe we will not harm those around us. Sucks but that seems to be a just how it is thing.
     
  6. YoungAndAngry

    YoungAndAngry Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm Scott, just a thought... was your wife doing anything prior to your reaction?
    Like, were you having a bad dream and did she attempt to wake you?
    Did she call out your name? etc.

    I know for myself it can be dangerous (well, I'm small so not really, lol) to try and wake me while I'm "nightmaring"... I will strike out.

    It has taken alot of trial and error...
    actually... currently we sleep on seperate couches because I have such bad dreams...
    but I take great comfort in the fact that he is there to wake me with a comforting voice by calling out my name.
    Any physical touch will send me off the deep end.
     
  7. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Excellent point Y&A! Did not think if she was trying to wake you.
     
  8. Scott_Fraser

    Scott_Fraser Well-Known Member

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    Hi Y&A How are you. Thanks for your advice. But during that dream I was hitting a Croat Soldier, and my wife was trying to stop it and she accidentally got hit. It has never happened again. And I don't want it to.
    How bad are your nightmares if you don't mind me asking.
    Cheers
    Scott:hello:
     
  9. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Scott, I have done the same, don't feel bad about it. Your wife understands, as does mine when I used to do it. She now wakes me from my feet, all the time, never anywhere else, even though I don't have nightmares or flashbacks very often, if any, she ensures a general sense of safety first. Your response is an instinctive response from your military training, not by your PTSD itself. It is your training you must deprogram to learn these things, not just PTSD by itself.
     
  10. YoungAndAngry

    YoungAndAngry Well-Known Member

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    Hi Scott,

    To answer your question I have nightmares every single night.
    Every one of them kind of runs off of the previous one, but many aspects of it are always the same.

    They are horrifying... and almost always 'cause me to wake up in a panicked state.

    When I wake up there is usually a distinct sweaty figure of myself on the sheets.
    If I don't leave the covers off of my bed that day, my sheets will still be soaked when I go to bed that night.
    I cry, whine, whimper, yell, talk and clench my teeth while I sleep... it's really exhausting after an extended period of time.

    My dentist already had to fit me with a mouth guard to wear @ night.
    It's really unattractive looking... but I've already cracked one molar with my clenching...

    Ummm... any thing else you wanted to know?
     
  11. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Actually I want to ask something Y&A since you mention it, my teeth are very painful and have cracks along my gum line on almost all my teeth. Hubs wants me to see the dentist to make sure I don't do anything too bad that requires extensive work. What all have you had to have done and what damage? I am scared of going in as last time I went they were not exactly gentle and I am afraid having meds in my system they could not do the work. I have to be basically put out for them to get my mouth open. My pain has eased with the nightmares backing off so not so much clenching, but the tooth brush still makes me hit the roof and feels like I am hitting nerves. Any advice?
     
  12. YoungAndAngry

    YoungAndAngry Well-Known Member

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    Well if your tooth starts cracking... eventually you will need a crown for it if you don't do something (which is quite pricey if you don't have insurance)

    I was lucky in the sense my jaw seized up and I was forced to go to the dentist before I could crack another molar.
    The mouth guard is molded to my exact bite/teeth, and of course it costs upwards of $600 or so, it take several weeks from the iniatial 'cast of your mouth, to the fitting date.

    I never realized just how bad my clenching was adding to my tension headaches!!
    After wearing the guard for a couple of days... I was hooked and noticed a huge difference with the intensity of my migraines.

    Now, I'm going to warn everyone that mouthguards are not the sexiest thing to go to bed with, LOL, but it's such a relief on your teeth/jaw/temples when you do.

    The best person to talk to would be your dentist... they might cost less where you are, or maybe they have other options.
    The mouth guard is mainly for people who grind or clench their jaws with such force that they are starting to break or grind down their teeth.

    I heard they even have special dentists now for people who are scared to go... my aunt went to one, and she actually didn't freak out,

    When my dental coverage kicks in I'm going to go to the dentist for a check-up and cleaning.... I have a gross habit of forgetting to brush on bad days.... meh, whatever.

    Basically my advice would be to get your teeth checked before possible damage gets worse and just more costly to fix.
    Try to find one of those 'calming' dentists (I think you wear a headset where you watch and listen to TV while the dentist is working)

    Hope that helped
     
  13. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Hi Y&A!

    i have a severe clenching problem and the dentist issue also. My dentist is really good. I get the same nurse everytime and she holds my hand and both of them talk to me to distract me. They are excellent and never make me feel bad for having anxiety attacks in there. I am supposed to get a mouth gaurd also, was supposed to years ago. but i still haven't. The thought of some big bulky thing in my mouth makes me anxious. LOL. I've broken my teeth too. it sucks. I also get horrid migraines from it and my jaw swells up (been the story of my life this week). ugh.

    bec

    I just wanted to add that until I spoke to anthony the other day about this damn clenching jaw problem.. i had no idea it was part of ptsd or a sign of hypervigelance.. i learn more and more everyday
     
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