Wow. That title was way more dramatic than intended. But it is kind of what I am thinking right now.
I feel fluctuating between everything being awful, and wallowing in my life story and panic attacks and drama and god I think I sicken myself sometimes with how annoying I sound even to myself.
And then I have days like today, where life wasn't fun, and blah blah blah but I still have a family, and my sister isn't dead yet, and the world hasn't ended. And I start wondering if I have issues at all or if I am just some self indulgent child hoping that everyone will pity what I have been through.
I am meant to go to therapy tomorrow, and be ready to discuss about everything, and be told it was awful, and you know. I am not sure I am up for that right now. I just wanna quit all this self help stuff and continue life as though I don't need it.
I am not entirely sure if I should have made this a thread, or just put it in my diary. Guess I am just looking for encouragement that I shouldn't just quit. But how do you know that if you know nothing about me... --> circles.
Apologies for the world salad of sorts, I hope someone out there gets what I am trying to say.
I feel fluctuating between everything being awful, and wallowing in my life story and panic attacks and drama and god I think I sicken myself sometimes with how annoying I sound even to myself.
And then I have days like today, where life wasn't fun, and blah blah blah but I still have a family, and my sister isn't dead yet, and the world hasn't ended. And I start wondering if I have issues at all or if I am just some self indulgent child hoping that everyone will pity what I have been through.
I am meant to go to therapy tomorrow, and be ready to discuss about everything, and be told it was awful, and you know. I am not sure I am up for that right now. I just wanna quit all this self help stuff and continue life as though I don't need it.
I am not entirely sure if I should have made this a thread, or just put it in my diary. Guess I am just looking for encouragement that I shouldn't just quit. But how do you know that if you know nothing about me... --> circles.
Apologies for the world salad of sorts, I hope someone out there gets what I am trying to say.