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Forget kindergarten. ptsd will teach you everything that matters.

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"My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it.

Only great pain is the ultimate liberator of the spirit….I doubt that such pain makes us ‘better’; but I know that it makes us more profound." Friedrich Nietzsche

Friends, Nietzsche was right. PTSD cracks the barriers that conceal our souls from us. That's why we're more compassionate, more loving, more *human*. The pain that we bear is the price of authenticity, of humanity.

That was my first lesson. We walk the world with souls bared, surrounded by sleepwalkers. I guess it's up to each of us to decide if the price is fair. Most days, I'd say no, but only because of the next lesson I learned...

It doesn't matter how long we live, as long as we have lived. Will the thousandth sunset I see with eyes wide open be as profoundly beautiful as the first? Does it even matter? The first is tattooed upon my soul. I will have it forever. All I have to do is look inward.

What's the meaning of life? I am not content (yup, I'm malcontent) to find out on my deathbed. I govern my life, so it's my responsibility to give my life meaning. I choose to help others. That's the only reason I need to be here. And if I do well, then when I'm gone someone else may be inspired to take my place.

I've learned that the residue of our traumas - shame, anger, hurt, self-loathing, etc - blanket our souls in filthy layers like blankets that have gone dank and rotten. I've also learned, though, that these layers can be shed, and will be with work and tears. Many tears.

And as we throw off one disgusting layer after another, our true selves - our souls - begin to shine through, at first like a candle flame across a room, and growing in energy and intensity until they will shine like beacons. And friends, they will shine! Those horrible layers that were forced onto us by our abusers also protected our souls from the world. They are pure. Untouched. They are the essence of love.

More, so much more to come, but I need to interact with the world for a bit (clean the bathroom).

Love you all. ❤️
 
Love what you said about what all we go thru, only to look up and see we are surrounded by sleepwalkers.... pure truth.... but not eveyone.... so there are times our persistent vigilance pays off, for for a better world....

And Victor Frankl wrote wisely after the war.... about our purpose on this earth.... he and his fellow Jews went thru things we can not begin to imagine.... and he knew, his purpose was to help others, because he made it thru to the liberation of the camps....and yet there are still people who say none of it happened.... and I don't see that as merely sleepwalking, I see it as evil.

We are some of the most loving and compassionate people on the planet.... because we have had wars of our own..... that fight to stay alive, to see what tomorrow brings out of today's pain..... and in all the reading I have done in my lifetime, not once have I read, or heard, that life is fair...what would there to be to learn if life was fair....

And Nietzsche has many answers, he wasn't ahead of his time, he was writing of the pain of the world then too.... it's not changed much.... it's just that we have the information hiway now, and we see and hurt over what the world still is.... but we are not the same.... so, somehow, someway, we are called to make a difference.... in a million tiny ways..... just supporting each other is something we give the world each day.... and it is enough..... it's always enough...
 
Love what you said about what all we go thru, only to look up and see we are surrounded by sleepwalkers.....
You're right, ladee. We're the wounded healers. I will never be grateful for the abuse that we have suffered, but for myself, I'm grateful for the compassion, appreciation, and love that have come out of it.

Frankl was a visionary. A humanist who had every right to be bitter and hateful. We have the most impressive role models, don't we?
 
Yes we do... and we can read all the stuff on the planet about healing... and sometimes, like Frankl, a Dr, but yet a common man, had so much to teach about love and being human and being present for others..... because he spoke from his soul, as you refereed to in your first post.... he had been stripped down to nothing, but flesh and bones.... and his heart still beat and his brain worked..... and he taught us how to do more than survive.... to live..... with purpose..... just like Tolle, and many we are reading today..... the message is the same, the messenger is different.
Great topic.....
 
I've also learned, though, that these layers can be shed, and will be with work and tears. Many tears.

Still crying...and learning @Mal and shedding those tears...and layers. Very much like what you wrote above about the residue of our traumas...I am working on my anger...and hurt over betrayal by the mother, and by the father.

Thank you for this thread @Mal.
 
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Happiness is not something you will ever find. It's something you have to learn.

You are your own best friend. What kind of friend you choose to be will greatly affect your recovery.

When you reach a point in your life at which you don't *need* anyone, you're ready to be with someone.

Learning my lessons, slowly, painfully...
 
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Ptsd sufferes are like the true Jesus figure. They are the ones who actually suffer the worlds pain. And yet many still strive to be compassionate.

I hate Christianity. I think it’s f*cked. But just an image I had. And I don’t mean me. Just all the souls in here I see pursueing positive things after being through so much. Caring about their actions when others didn’t care about their actions.
 
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