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Deleted member 33052
"My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it.
Only great pain is the ultimate liberator of the spirit….I doubt that such pain makes us ‘better’; but I know that it makes us more profound." Friedrich Nietzsche
Friends, Nietzsche was right. PTSD cracks the barriers that conceal our souls from us. That's why we're more compassionate, more loving, more *human*. The pain that we bear is the price of authenticity, of humanity.
That was my first lesson. We walk the world with souls bared, surrounded by sleepwalkers. I guess it's up to each of us to decide if the price is fair. Most days, I'd say no, but only because of the next lesson I learned...
It doesn't matter how long we live, as long as we have lived. Will the thousandth sunset I see with eyes wide open be as profoundly beautiful as the first? Does it even matter? The first is tattooed upon my soul. I will have it forever. All I have to do is look inward.
What's the meaning of life? I am not content (yup, I'm malcontent) to find out on my deathbed. I govern my life, so it's my responsibility to give my life meaning. I choose to help others. That's the only reason I need to be here. And if I do well, then when I'm gone someone else may be inspired to take my place.
I've learned that the residue of our traumas - shame, anger, hurt, self-loathing, etc - blanket our souls in filthy layers like blankets that have gone dank and rotten. I've also learned, though, that these layers can be shed, and will be with work and tears. Many tears.
And as we throw off one disgusting layer after another, our true selves - our souls - begin to shine through, at first like a candle flame across a room, and growing in energy and intensity until they will shine like beacons. And friends, they will shine! Those horrible layers that were forced onto us by our abusers also protected our souls from the world. They are pure. Untouched. They are the essence of love.
More, so much more to come, but I need to interact with the world for a bit (clean the bathroom).
Love you all.
Only great pain is the ultimate liberator of the spirit….I doubt that such pain makes us ‘better’; but I know that it makes us more profound." Friedrich Nietzsche
Friends, Nietzsche was right. PTSD cracks the barriers that conceal our souls from us. That's why we're more compassionate, more loving, more *human*. The pain that we bear is the price of authenticity, of humanity.
That was my first lesson. We walk the world with souls bared, surrounded by sleepwalkers. I guess it's up to each of us to decide if the price is fair. Most days, I'd say no, but only because of the next lesson I learned...
It doesn't matter how long we live, as long as we have lived. Will the thousandth sunset I see with eyes wide open be as profoundly beautiful as the first? Does it even matter? The first is tattooed upon my soul. I will have it forever. All I have to do is look inward.
What's the meaning of life? I am not content (yup, I'm malcontent) to find out on my deathbed. I govern my life, so it's my responsibility to give my life meaning. I choose to help others. That's the only reason I need to be here. And if I do well, then when I'm gone someone else may be inspired to take my place.
I've learned that the residue of our traumas - shame, anger, hurt, self-loathing, etc - blanket our souls in filthy layers like blankets that have gone dank and rotten. I've also learned, though, that these layers can be shed, and will be with work and tears. Many tears.
And as we throw off one disgusting layer after another, our true selves - our souls - begin to shine through, at first like a candle flame across a room, and growing in energy and intensity until they will shine like beacons. And friends, they will shine! Those horrible layers that were forced onto us by our abusers also protected our souls from the world. They are pure. Untouched. They are the essence of love.
More, so much more to come, but I need to interact with the world for a bit (clean the bathroom).
Love you all.