anthony
Founder
The title pretty much explains itself, and what I am about to write in regard to a sufferers best interest vs. another source of addiction.
I haven't written about this until it is now beginning to become a problem, in that some members of the community have stated within their posts that they are sometimes being referred too by partners or family members, as addicted to this forum, or spending too much time online.
The World Wide Web (WWW) is an addictive atmosphere, and this has been documented within studies many times already, even to the point where people willingly give up marriages, family, friends and work to get more of their addiction. The Internet, this forum included, is often used to suppress what is real within a persons life, no different to using alcohol or drugs.
If a spouse, family member or friend (as a third person) is stating your spending too much time online, or upon this forum, then there is a problem. The problem is, is that those people are most likely correct, because their needs are no longer being met, ie. time together. Internet usage, including this forum, needs to be managed individually, so that your effort to regain your life, doesn't also become a means to end other parts of it, ie. marriages, friendships, employment, etc etc.
If you become addicted to this forum or the Internet as a whole, then you are merely creating more problems than repairing. I have walked this line very much myself, and can speak from experience, especially considering a part of my livelihood was based within online marketing, thus I spent conderable time online for work related purposes. The Internet can destroy valuable parts of your life, that are far more important than the Internet could ever return to you. If your secluding yourself to the Internet, you are worstening your ability to get back social skills and enjoyment, whilst also creating another addiction to help suppress your trauma, ie. whilst online I feel good. You could say the same thing as, whilst I drink alcohol, I feel good, or whilst I am stoned, I feel good, all of which are things helping suppress trauma, emotions and reality.
Online time is like anything, and must be used in moderation. Don't think for a second you won't get worse if you become an online junkie, because you will. Spending time online must be controlled, the same as you would anything else within your normal life, ie. shopping, cleaning, socialising, family time, kids time, spouse time, etc etc. If your online to much, chances are you are ignoring other facets of your life.
Again, myself as an example. I limit my time I will spend online, including this forum. I will ensure that my work here does not mess with my childrens time, or responsibilities. Saying that though, my online time is also a necessity for myself, especially the writing here, so it is also part of me, thus must be factored into and accepted by those around me. What they don't have to accept though, is constant time at the computer and no time with them, being quality time.
If your spouse is telling you such things, then maybe you need to listen, talk with them about it, tell them that you need time online for research, chat, help, etc, and comprimise, because thats what life is all about... comprimise. Allocate yourself "x" amount of time to achieve what you need to online, and leave it at that once that time is used each day. Don't allow yourself to accrue time, because that is ineffective, ie. didn't go online today, so I will double up tomorrow. It doesn't work like that.
Don't attempt to fix yourself with another addiction is what I am saying. We all need help, we all need support, however; we all need other more important things to help with our improvement, being family, appointments, social activities, etc etc. I don't want to see people creating an issue to resolve other issues. Think about that, and moderation to everything is the key, especially in relationships, as anyone in relationships should know. Being single is one thing, being married and family environments with children, is another.
I haven't written about this until it is now beginning to become a problem, in that some members of the community have stated within their posts that they are sometimes being referred too by partners or family members, as addicted to this forum, or spending too much time online.
The World Wide Web (WWW) is an addictive atmosphere, and this has been documented within studies many times already, even to the point where people willingly give up marriages, family, friends and work to get more of their addiction. The Internet, this forum included, is often used to suppress what is real within a persons life, no different to using alcohol or drugs.
If a spouse, family member or friend (as a third person) is stating your spending too much time online, or upon this forum, then there is a problem. The problem is, is that those people are most likely correct, because their needs are no longer being met, ie. time together. Internet usage, including this forum, needs to be managed individually, so that your effort to regain your life, doesn't also become a means to end other parts of it, ie. marriages, friendships, employment, etc etc.
If you become addicted to this forum or the Internet as a whole, then you are merely creating more problems than repairing. I have walked this line very much myself, and can speak from experience, especially considering a part of my livelihood was based within online marketing, thus I spent conderable time online for work related purposes. The Internet can destroy valuable parts of your life, that are far more important than the Internet could ever return to you. If your secluding yourself to the Internet, you are worstening your ability to get back social skills and enjoyment, whilst also creating another addiction to help suppress your trauma, ie. whilst online I feel good. You could say the same thing as, whilst I drink alcohol, I feel good, or whilst I am stoned, I feel good, all of which are things helping suppress trauma, emotions and reality.
Online time is like anything, and must be used in moderation. Don't think for a second you won't get worse if you become an online junkie, because you will. Spending time online must be controlled, the same as you would anything else within your normal life, ie. shopping, cleaning, socialising, family time, kids time, spouse time, etc etc. If your online to much, chances are you are ignoring other facets of your life.
Again, myself as an example. I limit my time I will spend online, including this forum. I will ensure that my work here does not mess with my childrens time, or responsibilities. Saying that though, my online time is also a necessity for myself, especially the writing here, so it is also part of me, thus must be factored into and accepted by those around me. What they don't have to accept though, is constant time at the computer and no time with them, being quality time.
If your spouse is telling you such things, then maybe you need to listen, talk with them about it, tell them that you need time online for research, chat, help, etc, and comprimise, because thats what life is all about... comprimise. Allocate yourself "x" amount of time to achieve what you need to online, and leave it at that once that time is used each day. Don't allow yourself to accrue time, because that is ineffective, ie. didn't go online today, so I will double up tomorrow. It doesn't work like that.
Don't attempt to fix yourself with another addiction is what I am saying. We all need help, we all need support, however; we all need other more important things to help with our improvement, being family, appointments, social activities, etc etc. I don't want to see people creating an issue to resolve other issues. Think about that, and moderation to everything is the key, especially in relationships, as anyone in relationships should know. Being single is one thing, being married and family environments with children, is another.