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Friend being abused

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So, this has become really triggering for me. Having nightmares about my own abuses again. She's in a very codependent situation and I can't think for her, it's counter productive and won't help her snap out of it.

They are in a rut, not knowing if they'll continue the relationship, I'm not sure she's being completely honest with me. I doubt she would be completely honest if he is abusing her more, but from what she says when she's thinking it's not abuse, just normal relationship stuff, he's extremelly manipulative and basically is running her life for her, besides all the stuff. I'm out of ideas, I tried to help her get professional help because I feel I'm out of my depth as she's been self harming, she denied my help because he told her therapists are no good and that she has a mental illness.

She hasn't said anything, she was supposed to meet me last night but didn't say a word. I can't be in this position of being his replacement, and hate to be in a position of being completely shut off from her because he doesn't want her to speak to me.

This is going nowhere until she realizes by herself she needs to leave him.
 
There are many other issues at play (family, culture etc...her family seems to love him and there seems to be an expectation that they will marry)...Anyway, you've probably done what you can - she has to want to help herself...Unfortunately, you probably can't save her from this. Neither of us can (that doesn't mean we stop looking for ways to try anyway). Good luck!

I so agree with everything said here. Until she hits a bottom that breaks through her denial, she will most likely hang onto him. I did like the idea of taking her to a womans shelter if she agrees to go and talk to someone first, because the more information she gets, the better for her and for you as well. I wish you success.
 
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