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Friend has PTSD (not diagnosed)

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Babycakes, Nov 10, 2006.

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  1. Babycakes

    Babycakes New Member

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    Hi there,
    I discovered this week that a close friend of mine suffers from PTSD. I only found out because we were chatting last Sunday & suddenly he was saying how the world was too heavy and he wanted to stop it all. It was a long and emotionally draining event. Tuesday he sends me an email telling me how his best friend at school died in front of him in a terrorist attack when he was 13 (he is 29 now). He has never had any counselling or support and has no access to such. He lives in a country where I imagine PTSD is not recognised. I also gathered that he has never spoken to anyone about it. He doesn't trust anyone although he has opened up with me. He told me he keeps having nightmares about it - he re-lives the incident over and over again.

    I'm actually finding this incredibly hard to deal with and really don't know what to do to help him especially as I know he does not have access to the help he needs. I just feel so helpless. Yes, I have tried to find out as much as I can. Just makes me feel even more useless. (Anyway this is not about me!)

    I know that right now he doesn't want to talk about it. Thinking about it, he wasn't actually ready to tell me all that he did.

    Any comments, suggestions would be most welcome.

    Thank you,

    Babycakes
     
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  3. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi Babycakes,

    If your friend doesn't have the support they need directly, maybe they could access here and chat with me, and see if I can help them past some of this. That is assuming they have Internet access and all. Apart from that, the only thing I could suggest is that you research as much as you can, print out information on each symptom, how to work through them and heal trauma, and send that information to them to read.
     
  4. Babycakes

    Babycakes New Member

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    Thank you Anthony,

    I have emailed him a link already to this forum this morning. I have also come to realise that I have some serious issues to address though I have been avoiding them all my life. I knew that anyway. However, this is all bringing it to the surface and it ain't nice.

    Having said that, I pray I haven't pushed my friend too soon. He is not replying to messages. That is my problem to deal with. Thank you again. I will continue my research and try to find as much help as I can fo him.
     
  5. permban0008

    permban0008 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Hey babycakes,

    You could also link in to the 'spouses' area of the forum. This is not specifically for spouses as such.......its designed to meet the needs of all support people, friends included. Its tough caring about someone with PTSD whatever your relationship with them. Welcome to the forum.
     
  6. Babycakes

    Babycakes New Member

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    Hi there,

    I fear I am too late. I am getting no responses from him whatsoever. Naturally I am avoiding bombarding him. I am finding it incredibly difficult to cope with. As I said that is something I need to deal with.

    Does anyone have any suggestions as regards to books that I can read on the topic of PTSD? I would really appreciate it.

    Thanks,
    Babycakes
     
  7. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Read "I Can't Get Over It" second edition it is now, as that will enligten you to a lot about PTSD.
     
  8. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

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    hey BC.
    I'm glad your friend could tell you what was wrong.
    I don't know him, but I know that I, when emotionally stressed won't talk/ email anyone for days.
    Keep letting him know you care. Even if he doesn't answer, he's maybe reading them. It means a lot to know that there is some one out there that cares.
     
  9. Babycakes

    Babycakes New Member

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    Hi G,

    Thank you so much for sharing that with me. You have no idea how comforting it is to know that. I have been so distraught these past few days.

    I sort of thought that might be the case cos I shut out the world when I'm depressed amd make sure nobody can get hold of me. With that in mind I started sending him the equal amount of messages that we used to exchange before all this happened. I let him know about everyday stuff just to let him know that I am there if and when he needs me. I was just afraid that he may feel embarassed about speaking to me ever again because he had opened up.

    I always knew he had major trust issues and then the day he told me about how he felt he said he trusted me. The next day he told me about the trauma. A few days later he stopped responding. I was afraid that he may feel that somehow I betrayed his trust though I wouldn't know why he should think that. I guess he's also scared and emotionally drained (I know I am!) especially as he's never talked to anyone about it. I know that took him a lot and I bknow he has been meaning to tell me for months because he always said he had something to tell me but wasn't ready.

    Thank you again for reassuring me and making me feel more positive and hopeful. It's so good to be able to share my fears with you guys though I sometimes feel that I have no right to "dump" on you guys cos you have so much to deal with.

    Take care for now,

    Babycakes
     
  10. Babycakes

    Babycakes New Member

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    Hi,

    just wanted to share the good news with you guys... my friend has got back intouch just now. I am now shedding tears of joy. I was so scared that I had made him retreat for good. I will try and direct him here when the time is right. In the meantime I will be doing all my reading. I did order the book you suggested Anthony but it hasn't arrived yet. Hopefully in the next couple of days it'll arrvie. Have also ordered a few others.

    I hope you don't mind if I continue to pop in for avice from time to time as I can see this is going to be one very long journey which I am willing to take.

    Thanks again.
     
  11. jods

    jods Well-Known Member

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    Hi Babycakes,

    Pop on over to the spouse section (My hubby has PTSD). If you just want to chat, we're here!
     
  12. Babycakes

    Babycakes New Member

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    Thanks Jods,

    I shall pop over now :)
     
  13. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad BC.
    Although to admit I'm kinda wishing that my friend had reacted to this like you did. You see, when I told my best friend and flatmate about my ptsd and what caused it, she freaked and told me a couple of days later that she couldn't deal with me.

    I'm proud that you have enough support of your friend that you will be there for him, even when he tries to push you away.

    (Now I'm not sure if I'm talking to you, or about me!!!:dont-know )
     
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