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From Therapy Twice A Week To None

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metis-siren

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Hey,

So I've been going to my therapy once a week for years, and recently started couple's therapy with the same psychiatrist so I was in therapy twice a week, which was somewhat emotionally draining but in a healing sort of way, and now he's not around. The last time I saw him was about a month ago, and then he had a family emergency, and then he went on vacation for two weeks, and then I get a call today and he's got another family emergency. It seems odd because I bumped into him yesterday outside of the health centre, as I was going to see my GP, and he was quite content from what I saw.

It's really odd to go from that amount of therapy and support to none. I mean, I have my boyfriend, who is getting better at being supportive, but we're in couple's therapy for a reason. I have a couple friend's who I can talk to, but often find that they are at a loss when I need to talk about anything aside from good ol' fashioned venting. That's where my support network ends.

I'm giving myself some due consideration for what I've been dealing with, in regards to stressors in the past month, and know I've been handling it remarkably well. I want to add a but to that, but I can't think of one, and know I should give myself more credit.

Aside from the actual therapy part, my anti-depressant is running out soon, and I don't have any refills left, as I didn't anticipate not seeing him for a month +, which could become problematic.
ACK! *hmmpfh*

I know I'm fine, and I'll get through this, and I genuinely hope things are okay for him and his family - I guess I just needed a place to get it out there. I'm not even getting into feeling bad about being peeved that I have had yet another appointment canceled, but understand.

A. Lauren
 
Hey well done on giving yourself credit for the good things you have been able to do - remember you have done them all by yourself without the help of your doc!!!!

It is hard when drs need to take leave but remember they have a life outside work as well and I get the impression that you realise this but it still doesn't make it easy for you when you are in a vulnerable state, especially suddenly going from appts every few days to nothing at all. If this is going to be a longer term problem it would be good to have him also refer you to someone else and he could give them a synopsis of your probs so you don't have to go through it all again which is always really hard when starting with someone new.

I have my main therapist, but because she has a family and takes time off in school holidays etc she brought this up at the beginning and started me seeing someone else as a back-up. I see the other person about once every month or two and go weekly when my usual therapist is away - seems to work for me and they both are good at communicating with one another. Or if I need help suddenly I can always go to my GP - I'm not sure how it works in Canada but could your GP write you scripts?? That's who I usually get my scripts from even though the psychiatrist manages what I take.


hope your doc gets through his crisis and you can continue getting the help you need, whoever it's from
 
If your meds are running out the doc should know. Give them a call and have them at least call some in for you. You sound as if you are handling quite well all in all actually.
 
HI A,

You do sound so very strong....So maybe the last few months of things being so upseting for you, have given you the courage to know that you are really are strong, and can handle things really well.

Keep up the good work.

Wen
 
Okay, so an update. I've been told that my psychiatrist is on sick leave, and could be back in a few weeks or months, and no one is sure. I'm pretty sure that leaving myself without any support during what could be quite a while is not the smartest idea, and I know at the very least, this would give me a backup therapist for when he takes time off. Normally, I would just see someone at my university for the interim, but they're on strike and have been for a couple weeks now, and I'd rather see someone who has a good understanding of PTSD.

I was using good ol' google and found out there's a PTSD centre not too far from me, and they accept my Health card, as otherwise I can't afford to go to therapy, but I don't know how I would go about finding out their reputation. I know I'll need to get a referral, and I haven't in the past had a lot of experience with picking out my psychiatrist or therapist, it's been what is available at the time and what is covered. In all reality, there is a good chance of them having a waiting list, and again I would be without therapy. This leaves me with phone centres, and a couple acute trauma places. I know I'm going to need to write up what I need in a psychiatrist, and try to figure out some questions to ask for when I have my first appointment.

I know if I really need to, I can make 30 minute appointments with my GP and go in and talk to him for a bit, and if I need a note for school, he'll write it for me, but he's not a therapist, and not well versed in PTSD.

I guess I'm just concerned because if anything happens in the next little while, I'm on my own. I've seen my psychiatrist for the last three years every week aside from a few holidays, and part of me wants to help him through whatever he's going through (I think that's the nurturing side of me coming through, that and knowing how much he's helped me and wanting to return the favour. Obviously I can't, but I know when he does eventually get back, I'll be bringing in some good tea and some muffins... I suppose as a way for me to say thank you), and another side of me wants to whine and complain because this is one of the few people I see on a regular basis, and its very hard to not see your primary therapist.

I suppose on top of this, starting back at school, having my two stalkers contact me in the last little while, my boyfriend needing a significant amount of support, and getting calls from my family lately has just put me in a place where I'd really like to talk about it. I've been dealing well with most of this, and I'm aware of this, however journaling just isn't the same as getting feedback, and I want to continue on my quest of healing.

I don't know what to make of this, but the boyfriend says he likes how I've been behaving while I haven't been in therapy, he says I'm more stable emotionally. I just feel like I'm not really pushing myself to heal.

*end rant*

Thanks,

A. Lauren
 
Lauren,

Glad to hear you have found some alternate resources. I strongly encourage you to follow up on getting more anti-depressants, some of them have bad side effects if you stop them cold turkey. Your GP can probably help you with this will you are waiting to get another psychiatrist.
 
So I'm seeing a counselor in the interim, and am setting up an appointment with my GP to get a referral to a psychiatrist. I still have no idea when my primary psychiatrist will be back and its getting harder.

I suppose because he has been one of the few people in my life that I have trusted, and have seen regularly for years, I miss him more than I like to admit. I got a call from my pharmacy to let me know that my psychiatrist had called them to make sure that they knew he was still going to be paying for my medication. The pharmacy called to let me know, and I cried after I got off the phone. His kindness, even when he is dealing with his own personal stuff - and obviously not working, humbles me.

As for the interim counselor, she's alright. She's a bit flakey. At this point I'm not very picky, I know she's okay for now, and I just need someone to listen. I didn't particularly like that she thought I shouldn't think about the why to my feelings, but rather just feel them - which I already do. I believe that analyzing why I'm feeling a certain way helps me to get to the core of what's going on and address the actual issue and I felt that she overlooked how important that is. That, and she didn't look at my file - she has access to everything my psychiatrist wrote (they're in the same office) and she didn't bother (either that or my psychiatrist hasn't been keeping any notes?).

Anyway, I guess through all of this, I've begun to feel more isolated and in a sense like I have to start all over again. I don't like having to give the back story to everything again and again - I'm not talking about primary abuse, I understand the need for that. But explaining what's going on with school, stalkers, those things, over and over again - its not triggering so much as it just eats up time I'd rather be spending talking about how to deal with where I'm at now, not what happened months ago so that you can understand where I'm at now. I'm just feeling frustrated and alone.
 
Have you explained that you do not want to talk about that? That it has been discussed and this is where and what you want to talk about currently? Tell her that you feel you need to get to the core to figure it out? Many times they just need to be told point blank. Just a thought if you have not already tried that.
 
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